INSURGENT:Four's Story
by TheZanyBookworm
Summary: I wanted to see this girl break, to see how much pressure she can hold, until she shattered. When I found out there was nothing I could do to separate this brave girl from herself, I fell for her-hard. My secrets from the past keep popping up, and they push her farther from me, and she has her own share of mystery for herself. I just hope she loves me enough to let me see them.
1. Chapter 1

The trains wails, and cries, every time it turns. It's as if it knows how much chaos and destruction just happened.

I remember only a few things- my mind is scattered, in so many directions, i have to keep reminding myself what had happened. Tris sleeps, her head, on my shoulder. Caleb is in front, and his eyes are open, looking at me curiously, as if he is looking at a genetic piece of skin under a microscope.

Peter squirms from the pain in his shoulder: He only slept for a few minutes, before groaning awake. Tris shot him in the shoulder: I know only that. I have to ask her why later, but when things cool down.

Marcus is in front glaring at Tris, who presses her face closer to my chest, still asleep. Her eyes are closed shut, and her forehead is tightly creased: a nightmare.

Beyond the train car, in the distance, i see lights of yellow, and bright red. I smell the freshness of apples, and the sweet fragrance of oranges, flowers, and something else, that is unrecognizable, but a sweet sensation of scent nonetheless.

"We're nearing the Amity. We have to jump soon." I announce to everyone on board.

"Jump? you mean off the train!" Caleb asks wide eyed.

"Would you rather stay here, and risk the chance of a few factionless, possibly even some dauntless traitors, to jump aboard? It's probably our best chance to jump now." I reply.

Marcus snaps out of his death glare, and assists Peter up as well. Caleb follows.

I turn to Tris, who is still, frowning in her sleep.

I shake her shoulder that wasn't shot slightly, careful not to jolt her. She wakes up, eyes popping open, and is about to say something. When she realizes where we are, she take a deep breath, and lets it out, trying to calm herself. It doesn't seem to be working.

"Tris, come on." I tell her. "We have to jump."

I help her to her feet, leading her toward the doorway of the train cart. Peter leaps first, Marcus following right beside him. Caleb is unsure of himself, but bends his knees, leaping out anyways.

I offer Tris my hand, and she grips on to it tightly. She doesn't seem willing to leave, but knows she has to. We launch out of the train, me landing as if i was walking casually down the street, but Tris bites her lip- her bullet wound hurts. It still bleeds, and there is a thin thread covered with blood on it. Someone tried to stitch it, but obviously, it got loose.

Tris looks around for her brother, and sees him on the ground, holding his scraped leg. "Okay?" She asks him, genuinely concerned. He nods, and sniffs, fighting tears. The irony- she asks her brother if he is alright about a scraped knee, while she has a bullet wound, left badly treated, on her shoulder.

She is selfless without even realizing it.

I stare at the fence. It is tall, and sturdy. It is meant to be difficult to climb over, and strong enough so you can't break it.

The dauntless who try climbing it, never manage to get across.

"There are supposed to be dauntless guards here." says my abusive, psychotic father. "Where are they?"

I shudder at his voice. I remember though, that to get rid of a fear, it is best to face it head on, so i answer.

"They were probably under the simulation. And are now..." My voice trails off.

What did happen after the attack? I suppose we'll find out soon. Some may have been cowards, and blindly followed the leaders who brainwashed them. Other may have rebelled.

Some may have died.

"Who knows where doing who knows what." I say finishing my sentence.

We walk in silence, the small noises causing us to be at the edge of paranoia, until i see a small, metallic box. A keypad, hidden from others. Dauntless has a similar one, except it is painted black, to blend in. I walk up to it, and flick it open.

I guess factions have _some_ things in commen.

"Let's hope the Erudite didn't think to change this combination." I tell Tris, but the others take it in as well.

The code for this year, was 328685377. If you type it up on a phone, it spells "dauntless."

We're so original, aren't we?

The gate opens, quietly, but in this silence, it is a noticeable _'click''_

"How did you know that?" Tris' brother asks, still on the verge of crying, his throat thick with shock.

How did i know? oh yes. I almost forgot.

"I worked in the Dauntless control room, monitoring the security system. We only change the codes twice a year." I say, with a hint of coldness.

"How lucky." say Caleb, still shocked a Dauntless managed to figure something out.

Just because i can easily jump onto trains, and fire a gun, and throw a knife, and other barbaric does not mean I am unable to be an intelligent person as well.

"Luck has nothing to do with it." I say with malice. "I only worked there because i wanted to make sure i could get out."

And by _get out _i mean protect myself, and make sure i could hack the system, and change the security footage. If i never worked there, I would not have known about the war beforehand, and me and Tris would have been dead by now if i haden't.

Something else hits me in my think skull. Hard.

If Tris had not switched to Dauntless, and if she had passed her abnegation initiation, then not only would i have not met her, she would have been shot by a mindless soldier.

I guess everything does happen for the best...

Or for the worst. We are in a war after all.

Tris walks first, through Peter, clutching his arm, bullet still in his arm, Marcus steadying him, and Caleb, with tears falling through his eyes. Tears of loss.

Loss of parents. Tris lost her parents today. She watched them die in front of her, shot by mindless creatures in black clothes. She watched them die to protect her.

The sadness is clear in her frozen, secluded, but open eyes. But she keeps her chin up, and walks steadily. carefully.

I am afraid this strong, brave, selfless, intelligent, person, is about to reach her breaking point. So I stand next to her, watching her, looking out for her. The girl that I am sure I love. I stand close to her, so she doesn't crumble.

I stand close to her, just in case she breaks.

But I am worried she already has.


	2. Chapter 2

I know that Amity is close by the sweet smell of freshness, and the faint sound of joy and laughter. It is also obvious that we are close because we walk through an apple orchard.

The apples are bright red and ripe, though some have rotted, and mixed with wet soil, worms crawling through them. Amity reminds me of nature. Of what is natural, and what is not. It is natural human instinct to try to live peacefully.

It is not human instinct to jump of trains. That is not natural.

I remind myself that the amity aren't natural either. They defy instinct as well. It is nature to defend yourself in a situation- the amity let it pass. Not even the fruit is natural. It is all genetically reproduced. There isn't a lot of fresh fruit as there used to be in the past, before the great peace. Almost nothing we eat is organic, and everything we consume either has growth formula, to make it grow faster, or a formula that makes it last longer, and not rot as easily.

Nothing in this world is natural-nothing in this world is true. The thought is somewhat horrendous. When we are close enough to see buildings, Marcus speaks up.

"I know where to go." He says. I stop myself from flinching at the sound of his voice- the sound I trained myself to hear as a sign of danger.

A small grimace escapes me either way, but no one seems to notice.

Good. I don't need to be reminded of my cowardice.

We follow Marcus. Along the way, I hear a burst of laughter- the hushing of the wind-the sound of round hard fruit plopping to the ground once ripened- the sound of Amity.

The sound of peace.

We enter a room, and Johanna Reyes stands.

Johanna Reyes is a representative of Amity- they have no chosen leader, but Johanna is a speaker of the Amity- she doesn't make their decisions, she just announces them. She has a scar across her eye. It stretches on her face, which is pretty and kind either way. She is not treated poorly because of the way she looks. She is treated from her choices, her decisions. The amity understand that everyone is equal.

I find it wondrous, how they can all understand-how they can all agree. How they all correspond with each other.

"Oh thank god," She says at the sight of Marcus. She walks up to him, arms opened, as if to embrace him, but decides better of it, and touched his shoulders.

Who in the right mind would ever think about hugging a psychopath?

Oh yeah. The amity. I admire them for being the faction of peace- I do. But they can be very...stupid sometimes.

"The other members of your party got here a few hours ago, but they weren't sure if you had made it," Johanna says, relief obvious in her eyes.

She doesn't seem to notice the rest of us-only Marcus. How on Earth do they know each other? Johanna must not know him well, if she looks at him with admiration in her eyes.

Then, after looking over the Devil's shoulder, does she see Peter, Caleb, Tris, and I.

She looks at Peter last, before eyes going wide.

"Oh my." She says, her stare focused on Peter's bloody shirt. "I'll send for a Doctor. I can grant you all permission to stay the night, but tomorrow, our community must decide together. And-" She says looking between me and Tris. "They will likely not be enthusiastic about a Dauntless presence in our compound. I of course ask you to turn over any weapons you might have."

She looks at me knowingly. It's obvious someone with my posture, and cold stare, would be armed in a situation like this, so I hand her my gun.

She looks at Tris unsure though, if she would have a gun. I look at Tris. She wears a baggy grey shirt, from abnegation, but her tattoos show. That is probably how Johanna knew her as a dauntless.

But what she doesn't expect is for a small little girl, who got shot in the shoulder, to have a deadly weapon in her back pocket.

Let's keep it that way.

Tris reaches for her gun, but i quickly get a hold of her hand, and entwine our fingers together, to hide the fact the I'm helping her smuggle a gun into their headquarters.

That and I haven't held Tris' hand in a few hours, and I'm still glad that she isn't dead- that I didn't shoot her.

That **_I_** didn't shoot her.

"My name is Johanna Reyes." she says, holding a hand out for me and Tris to shake.

Amity knows how to greet people from all factions. It is something they are trained to know.

I am snapped out of my thoughts as the devil speaks. "This is T-"

I cut him off. "My name is Four." I say venomously. I don't want to be referred to as his son. "This is Tris, Caleb, and Peter." I finish stating.

I remember that 'Four' was someone everyone thought belonged in the faction of bravery. The guy everyone thought was brave. I'd rather be Four for two reasons now.

The first being i don't want to be known as Tobias, Marcus' son that left for the Dauntless two years ago.

The second being Peter is here, and I don't want any of my past initiates-especially him- to know my real name.

"Welcome to the Amity compound." Johanna says softly. Her voice is like a bunch of flower seeds, gently flying with the wind. "Let us take care of you." She says, eyeing Tris.

And she does help us. Peter is escorted to the hospital wing. Tris is given a salve to increase healing wounds.

We are escorted to there dining hall- in this case, cafeteria, where past abnegation are seated.

Crap.

They greet Marcus, and Marcus just has that look of power in his eyes. I narrow my vision. If only Johanna haden't taken my gun...

He clings to his power, his control, as tightly as someone who is dangling from a rope above a moat full of crocodiles.

The longer you wait, the hungrier the crocodiles get.

At one point, the rope will break, or your hands will slip, and you fall, into nothing but weakness, and the power fades.

I am snapped once again out of my happy thoughts, as Tris attaches herself to my arm. Her shoulder must hurt, but then I realize her eyes is wary, and on the verge of tears. She doesn't want to be near anyone at the moment.

I nudge an abnegation woman next to me, who is around my age, and she looks at me with fright in her eyes. I don't blame her too much. It was people who looked like me who murdered her neighbors. Probably even her family.

I guess i have to show her that some of the Dauntless do care for others. That were all not heartless.

"Would it be possible to give her something to help her sleep?" I tell her quietly, so no one can hear. "She's been through a lot." I tell the woman, motioning towards Tris shot arm.

She gives a faint smile, and comes back a few moments later with a cup of steaming liquid, that is pink, but has a reddish color to it as well, like a cherry cut in half.

"Drink this. It will help you sleep as it helped some others sleep. No dreams." She says softly to Tris.

Tris looks at the liquid, before drinking it down quickly. Once she is done, her body seems limp, but relaxed, and her eyes droop. I nod to the woman, before helping Tris out of her seat. I don't think she notices it is me though, because her eyes are too focused on the ground- to tired to look up. An Amity points to a room, and I lead Tris into it. The room has a bed. Tris falls asleep before she even makes it to the bed. I give a light chuckle.

That stuff must be strong.

I carry Tris to her bed, my arm under her knee. As I place her on the bed, I can't help but remember placing her unconscious body on my own bed when Peter almost pitched her over the underground river that runs over and over, drowning whatever-or whoever- falls in.

Now, her arm is suffering from a bullet wound, and she almost died, but this time she almost died from me.

I could have killed her.

What if I haden't broken the simulations hold on my brain?

What if I had waken up to her dead eyes, her limp body?

What if I had realized I had done it?

And she just would have let me.

The thought enrages me.

She told me why- she said it would be like shooting herself. I remember that in her fear landscape, she couldn't bring herself up to killing her family- the ones she loved.

She said she couldn't shoot me. I told her that I love her. Though she didn't say it, I believe she does.

But to know she cared about me enough that she would die for me?

I can't allow that.

From now on, my decisions will be for her well-being.

And i have to make sure that she never gets hurt again. By anyone.

By Peter.

By Marcus.

By Eric.

By Jeanine.

Or the deadliest one of them all.

I go into my own room, and look into a mirror on the wall.

Me.

**_How am I doing so far?:3 tell meee!_**

**_I know i haven't updated in a while...the point of this story is to hold fans reading this (and myself) off until the last installment, which comes out next fall(next year.) so my solution is to update a chapter every week or less. I only write when inspired, but i still have school. Divergent:Four's story was updated faster because it was summer, so i had more time to work! Don't hate me for updating to late :3 _**

**_ALSO! THE ACTOR FOR TRIS HAS BEEN NAMED! SHAILENE WOODLY IS BEING NEGOTIATED AS PLAYING TRIS IN THE DIVERGENT MOVIE, COMING MARCH 21St! (or was it may...)_**

**_ANYWAYS SOOOOO EXITEDD!_**

**_except, you know...it comes out in a year and half...and not to mention the last book comes out next fall..._**

**_exitment has gone down a few pegs...BUT IS STILL THERE!:D_**


	3. Chapter 3

I don't sleep much that night. The thought that Marcus in the same compound as me makes my insides churn: Of hatred, or nervousness, I don't know.

Instead, I do what I can to help the Amity: show them that If they let Tris and I stay, we won't be much trouble.

Who am I kidding. Of course we'll get in trouble here: It's not enough were dauntless in an amity compound. It's also the fact my girlfriend is a magnet for trouble.

Speaking of Tris, i remember her bullet wound, that Eric shot. Where is Eric so I can shoot him in the head? I don't know. But Tris still has a bad shoulder, that must be killing her. I go to an Amity nurse, who gives me pain medication in return. "A dropper every six hours." She says. I put it in my pocket to give to Tris once she is up. It's six in the morning, so she might still be sleeping.

I need to change my shirt. It smells of blood and sweat, if that were even possible. When I go to my room for the first time, I see clothes on the bed.

A red shirt, and yellow pants.

I vow never to wear the pants. Ever. I consider throwing them out the window, but that won't be good. The amity will base there judgement of my actions.

I keep my the pants i wore yesterday on. The amity always prepare for guests from other factions, so they might have some more black pants, or jeans around here somewhere. I will check later. But My black shirt has to go. I toss it into a hamper, and put on the red shirt. It's not bad, but i wouldn't wear it in any other situation, except this. At least my tattoos still show.

I roam around, and ask a nurse how Peter is doing. "Great. He'll be fine in no time, so long as he keeps weight of it." She says smiling genuinely, looking at my shirt. Her eyes start to roam downward, so I walk away, trying not to leave to fast, but my feet have a mind of there own. I walk to a room, checking my watch again. Six twenty-three. I decide to see Tris around seven. Until then, I try to find out as much as possible, so i head up to Johanna's office. I am about to open the door, but I remember that the Amity won't find that considerate, so i knock.

"Come in." she says. I walk in, and the shock flashes across her face. "Is something wrong?" She asks.

_Other than, oh you know, the freaking war outside this compound? Nothing! I was just here to congratulate you on having a team of amity who like to laugh there heads off on flowers! _I want to snap, but I don't.

"Yesterday, you said that you will make a decision on whether or not we stay. When exactly will that decision be made? I ask, trying not to make voice too venomous. Some of those words leak a bit of poison, but she does not seem to notice.

"Today in a few hours. At seven-thirty." She says, her voice happy, and perky.

How is that possible?

"Ok then."I say. I turn around about to leave, but she stops me, pulling my elbow back. I grit my teeth. It is almost seven o clock, and I am eager to see how Tris is doing.

"I want all of you to be safe-it's true. But i would need something to help convince my people. We are Amity, but we use logic to make our decisions as well, to find the most peaceful way for a situation- something we can agree on." She says softly.

"And your telling me this because..." i say, confused to what she wants.

"Why do you think we should let you stay here in our compound: three important statements." Johanna says, her eyes pleading with curiosity.

What I say now, determines whether we stay or go. So I answer truthfully.

"If we go out back we will most likely be killed. As humans with sense, we would rather live. Our second one is that we have the injured with us. They saw the ones they love die in front of them. They don't need to suffer any longer, and go back." I say.

I have one other reason, but i wonder if it would be safe to say it.

I say it anyway.

" And the person I care about the most has to be safe. In fact she will be awake in a few minutes, so if you will." I say, pointing at the door with me head.

"Of course." she says letting my arm go, with a faint smile playing her lips. "I hope you the best." she says. "We'll debate for a little while, talk it out, and then over all, decide your fate." She finishes.

Decide our fate?

In a way, the Amity will decide whether we live here peacefully for a while.

And with that, i work my way back to Tris' room. It is six-forty, so i take my time walking there. Sadly, i meet Caleb along the way. He doesn't say anything to me. He just glares.

"Okay then..." I say awkwardly, about to walk past him.

"Where are you going."

_To the edge of the Earth. Where else Sherlock?_

"Tris' room." I say as politely as I can.

"Who now?" He asks confused.

"Your sister." I tell him.

"Her name is BEATRICE!" he says, stressing her name.

"She prefers Tris." I tell him.

"I'll wake her up. You do something else." He says.

"No." I tell him. "She's my girlfriend. So i'll wake her up." I state.

"well im her brother, so- wait, what?" He says "Did you say girlfr-"

Before he finishes, i start speed walking to Tris door, but once i go down the corner, i sprint toward it. It is not too far. I can't hear the brother following me so i slow down. I stand before the door until it is seven o clock sharp. It is six fifty nine.

At long last, my watch moves to the seven, and i sigh with relief. I can't stand a night without her next to me, unsure if she is safe.

She's Tris after all.

I knock on the door, wondering if she is awake already. "Come in." She says a few seconds later.

I open the door, and step halfway in, getting a glimpse of her room before leaning on the doorway. She seems to be looking at my shirt.

If she laughs, I will laugh back at her, because she will have to wear one as well. Maybe even yellow.

She doesn't mention it though.

"The Amity are meeting in half an hour." I tell her, remembering Johanna's words. _"To decide our fate." _I say, with a hint of fake drama.

She shakes her head, smiling a little, but it vanishes. "Never thought my fate would be in the hands of a bunch of Amity." She says.

"Me either." i admit. "Oh, I brought you something." i say remembering the medicine. I put some in the dropper, and give it to her. "Pain medication. Take a dropper full every six hours."

"Thanks." is her reply, as she puts the dropper in her mouth, letting it flow down her throat.

I need to know how she is doing- she seems worried, and I don't blame her. I remember, all of a sudden how Caleb mentioned her real name, and i wonder how it would sound when I say it. I also want to know which she prefers. I hope she wants me to call her Tris. It is the nickname she told me when i first met her, when she jumped of a roof. I remember when she said it, it sounded like she was telling me and only me, and not other dauntless awaiting near the net.

The good old days that were only a few weeks ago.

I try it casually, hooking my thumb into one of the belt hoops. "How are you Beatrice."

The look on her face makes me want to laugh, or give of a small chuckle.

"Did you just call me _Beatrice?"_

_"_Thought i would give it a try. Not good?" I say smiling.

"Maybe on special occasions only. Initiation days, Choosing days..." She says, about to say more, but thinks better of it. She doesn't know what the dauntless celebrate yet.

"It's a deal." I say, my faint smile disappearing. "How are you Tris?" I ask.

She has done more than a sixteen year old could. Her parents dieing-for her. Her peers killing her neighbors.

Me almost shooting her.

The thought leaves me for now. I will scold her sooner or later- it's a habit, and she has a gift for doing things to unknowingly anger me.

Her shoulders go rigid at the question. Why did i ask that? It is obvious she is not doing okay.

"I'm..." She pauses, as if stopping herself from saying something. I don't want her to do that. I want to know whatever she has to say.

"I don't know four. I'm awake. I..." She says, her head shaking.

I almost groan at her calling me my nickname. It is somewhat a turn on, but i prefer her calling me 'Tobias.' Especially when we are alone. Together. In the same room.

I place my hand on her cheek, moving toward her neck. I tilt her head up, as I kiss her. Her lips are warm, but her hands are cold, as she holds my arms, making sure i don't leave. She should know i wouldn't want to leave.

I am suddenly aware of the bed that she leans on, and I pull back before any other thoughts come into my brain, which really aches for her passion.

Does she _have_ to be afraid of me being with her?

Instead of mentioning it though, i say "I know. Sorry, I shouldn't have asked." I tell her.

She looks at me, her eyes looking at me with curiosity. Curiosity that i accept when it comes from her.

I remember when I was alone with that horrid excuse for a father. Me thinking my mother was six feet under. I couldn't have been more wrong.

I know what it is like to be alone- I used to embrace the feeling, in dauntless. My friends wouldn't have understood. But then I met Tris, and in a matter of weeks, she was the main highlight of my whole entire existence. And know all I want is her.

All of her. But i have to control myself.

I take a deep breathe, inhaling her scent, before saying "I'll let you get ready."

I stay in my room, and wait for the meeting to start. I decide to leave before sleep overcomes me-I remember that i haven't slept in almost two days. Along the way I see Caleb. Again. When he sees me, he gives me a death glare. He does a terrible job at looking tough. The look he gives looks like he's observing me.

Then i realize that he IS observing me. I feel like an ant under a microscope.

"What do you want with my sister." He says still observing my expression, as if trying to see what I am hiding.

"I don't want anything from her. I like her. She likes me. Enough said." I tell him.

"No, not enough said! She's my sister, and I need to make sure she doesn't get hurt." He says exasperated.

"I would never hurt her."

"That's hard to believe from the words of a Dauntless." He says. "You look familiar." He says, an eyebrow raised.

I almost forgot that Marcus would go to Andrew Prior's house for dinner almost every week.

I don't know how Tris never made the connection- maybe she never payed much attention to Marcus when he came over. But her brother is Erudite-He will make the connection sooner or later.

"I'm Dauntless. Don't we all look the same one way or another?" I snap at him.

He doesn't talk the rest of the way.

I see Tris. She appears to have cut her hair. It is almost chin length, but it is a few centimeters longer.

I remember telling myself that she is always surprising me one way or another.

This is one of those times.

"You cut your hair." Caleb says, eyes wide.

_you don't say! I would __**never**__ had figured that out myself!_ I want to say, but not when Tris is here.

"Yeah. It's...too hot for long hair." She says.

"Fair enough." says Caleb, buying her lie.

I know it's a lie, but it doesn't really matter at the moment. I'll ask her about it when she wants to tell me.

We walk silently, Tris next to me with Caleb on her other side,glaring at me. Just to see his reaction, I move closer to her- closer than a normal friend would. Caleb notices, and his eyes narrow even more.

I smirk, but Tris seems to be lost in her thoughts to notice, and I frown concerned, looking at her expression.-This seems to make Caleb even madder.

I look ahead, careful to make sure Tris doesn't stumble on any rocks. Than Caleb says something that makes me want to shred him to pieces.

"Does everyone know your Marcus's son? The abnegation I mean."

This seems to make me and Tris both freeze. We both manage to keep walking though.

"Not to my knowledge. And I would appreciate it if you didn't mention it." I say, giving him an "I'll kill you if you do" look.

"I don't need to mention it. Anyone with eyes can see it for themselves." Caleb says, frowning. He must be disappointed I didn't make a huge scene the Dauntless are famous for. "How old are you anyway?"

_older than you._

"Eighteen."

"And you don't think you're too old to be with my little sister?"

I laugh. He pretends to be the one looking out for her, when it is the other way around.

If anything, he's the little one. And Tris is not a little thing. She's a troublesome one.

"She isn't _your little _anything."

"Stop it. Both of you." Tris says, clearly annoyed by this. I still smirk.

Once we reach the huge place made of glass, that has a huge tree in the middle, with Johanna on top of a bunch of roots, and other Amity around her, I guide Tris to a place near the back, and pull her down to sit.

"I like your hair that way." I say, in all honesty.

She smiles, and leans her arm against mine as she sits.

It takes a while for the Amity to start talking-most seem to drift of to space. When Johanna Reyes starts talking, we all listen.

"We have before us today an urgent question. Which is: How will we conduct ourselves in this time of conflict as people who pursue peace?"

Once the words leave Johanna's mouth, every single amity discusses the issue. Each one is equal. Each one wants to live happily in a safe environment.

I envy there thoughts. I could never live a life without some form of adventure, or curiosity.

"How do they get anything done?" Tris asks, utterly confused.

"They don't care about efficiency," I tell her." They care about agreement. Watch."

As if on cue, the groups of people talking join in on another group, making a group bigger, and they don't stop until an agreement. This will go until the little groups are all the Amity, choosing one of two options, or already having a solution. They discuss all matters like this: I've learned about this in my faction history text-book.

"This is bizzare." She says, not understanding the point.

"I think it's beautiful." I say in disagreement.

She gives me a shocked look. I've warned her- I'm different then I am in training.

Then I remember that she never got to really know that person outside of training except in small glimpses- there is still so much she needs to know about me.

"What?" I ask chuckling a little. "They each have an equal role in government; they each feel equally responsible. And it makes them care; It makes them kind. I think that's beautiful." I explain to her.

I smile, thinking of how Tris would look if she was Amity, but i just can't imagine her growing crops, laughing, and singing. Tris was not meant for this place. Neither am I. We are simillar in that way. The difference though is that I can deal with it. I am not sure about Tris though.

"I think it's unsustainable," She replies back. "Sure, it works for the Amity. But what happens when not everyone wants to strum banjos and grow crops? What happens when someone does something terrible and talking about it can't solve the problem?" She asks.

She makes a point. The amity can only be so peaceful and gentle for so long. It's a persons nature to defend yourself. What happens to those who can no longer stand being nice?

I shrug in response. "I guess we'll find out."

One by one, one person in each small group goes up to Johanna, and start discussing the matter with her.

"They're not going to let us argue with them, are they." Tris says.

"I doubt it." I reply.

I may love her, but I am not going to get her hopes up by saying "It'll be okay."

I don't know if it will.

Johanna talks again, when Tris and I are deep in our own thoughts.

"Our faction has had a close relationship with Erudite for as long any of us could remember. We need each other to survive, and we have always cooperated with each other. But we have also had a strong relationship with Abnegation in the past, and we do not think it is right to revoke the hand of friendship when it has so long been extended." She says. Her voice is solemn, and truthful. There is still that little peice of Candor in there.

"We feel that the only way to preserve our relationships with both factions is to remain impartial uninvolved. Your presense here, though welcome, complicates that."

She said our presence is welcomed. That gives me relief, but she didn't really say if we could stay or not.

"We have arrived at the conclusion that we will establish our faction headquarters as a safe house for members of all factions, Under a set of conditions."

"The first is that no weaponry of any kind is allowed on the compound."

_Already broke that one._

"The second is that if any serious conflict arises, whether verbal or physicle, will be asked to leave."

_Now how on Earth will that be possible with three trained Dauntless members, and a Marcus?_

"The third is that the conflict may not be discussed, even privately, within the confines of this compound."

_Is she crazy? She doesn't want us talking about the first war in years? Not even discussing a plan?_

"And the fourth is that everyone who stays here must contribute to the welfare of this environment by working. We will report this to Erudite, Candor, and Dauntless as soon as we can."

Then she looks at Tris and I, and we stare back.

"You are welcome to stay here if and only if you can abide our rules. That is our descision." She says it as if she just knows we'll break these rules.

I don't blame her.

Me and Tris are silent.

"We won't be able to stay long." She whispers.

I frown. "No, we won't."

_**COLTON HAYNES (TEEN WOLF), AND ALEXANDER LUDWIG (CATO FROM HG) ARE TRYING TO GET THE PART OF FOUR! :D**_

_**SHAILENE WOODLEY MIGHT PLAY TRIS (IT'S NOT A FINAL CHOICE YET.)**_


	4. Chapter 4

Tris disappears into her room soon after, and i decide to do the same thing. Now is the perfect time to remember what happened-to remember what haunted us a few days ago, but then be reminded about safety. I figure it's better to do so now, because there will soon be a time when remembering these things anywhere else in the near future will shatter a mind- will ruin a person.

I want to get the thought of the leaders going against our government, mind controlling there own people out of my mind. I want to get the fact that Jeanine almost made _me_ murder someone out of my head.

Murder Tris.

I'd rather think about something else now; The word 'murder' is ugly enough. When it's in the same sentence as the name Tris, is just infuriating. I've already shredded some paper, but there is a vase right on top of the counter that I would like to smash into the wall, but I resist for two reasons. The first being it's a childish act Eric would do, and I don't like being compared to him. The second being I don't want to get kicked out of here, although i know i won't be able to stand the thought of Marcus here any longer.

I clear my thoughts by breathing-something Amar had made me practice. I would remember how he would help other initiates with combat skills, and coping with simulations. He taught me to control my anger. Amar spent more time with me. As he was popular with the dauntless, it gave me some fame as well-as if four fears wasn't enough. It is why Eric would always want to kill me- why he almost had.

There is a knock on the door, and I am glad. Something to distract me would be great. I feel a gnawing pain in my chest. Familiar, especially during my lonesome time in dauntless before Tris came into my life. I ignore the pain, because then I would become what i used to be when i was "four," the cranky, hot-headed dauntless who was "ruthless" enough to win first in the rankings two years ago.

The cranky, hot headed part was the only part of those rumors that where correct. I wasn't ruthless...at least i don't _think_ i was.

Either way, I yell "It's open." at the door, awaiting the person behind it.

Caleb opens it.

Oh joy.

"Hello." He says normally, but his eyes narrow.

"What did I do now." I tell him exasperated. I had enough trouble for the day. So many lousy amity rules...cleaning for them. Being _nice _to people.

The thing that angers me more is the fact that we can't discuss the fact that a war is waging against two factions-Three if you include the dauntless.

"I came by to discuss something." Caleb says. At first I assume he means the war, and I am about to remind him that it isn't allowed here, but he cuts of before i can even open my mouth.

"It's about my sister."

Oh...

"Tris." I say nodding once. "What about her?"

"You said she was your-"

"My girlfriend. Yes. Honestly Caleb, I picked her up when she could barely stand near the tracks, and I kissed her on the train. What did you think?" I tell him. For erudite, he is somewhat...stupid.

I am happy Tris can't read my thoughts, although, sometimes, it's as if she _can._

"I thought you picked her up because you were both in the same faction, and like they say, faction before blood." He snaps, apparently angered that I made a fool of himself. "And i thought you were messing with her on her train, as the Dauntless would so often do."

In easy, modern English: Your Dauntless, and your playing with my sister, so stop trying to get her to sleep with you.

"I am not fooling around with her, if that's what your thinking."

Tris proved how much she cared for me by allowing me to kill her, in return for myself to live. But what she doesn't know is that i would have rather died. In fact I'm positive i said so before I was injected with that serum...

"And how do know that? What have you done for her that would make you worthy of my respect?"

"Pfft. I don't need your respect." I say. It comes out ruder than i thought it would, but it's how i blow off some steam.

"I think you do." He says, in his annoying, know-it-all look.

"How so." I ask, honestly confused. Why do_ i_ need_ his_ respect?

"Well, think about it. I'm your _girlfriend's_ brother. I've been with her since thick and thin. For sixteen years, and you..." He says, now getting on my nerves. "Have known her for what? A few weeks? Who do you think she'd trust if something was up with her."

"What's the best memory you had with her?" I ask.

"Talking about our day in the family room." He says, happy with his answer.

"Mine is climbing the navy pier Ferris wheel with her."

"Wha-" He says alarmed, but i cut him off.

"That's when i knew I liked her. What's your worst memory with her, discounting the simulation attack?" I ask. This is turning into a competition of 'Tris has better memories with me than with you.'

"Yelling at her when she broke my watch because she was mad at me."

I don't elaborate, because it is something Tris would do.

"Mine is throwing knives at her head."

"huh?"

**_Not the best thing to tell the brother, dim wit._**

_Oh hush stupid conscience._

_ "_It's not like I her hurt her. It just hit a part of her ear. And that's because I aimed it there."

I expect him to yell at me for doing such a thing to her, but no. He looks at me in a dumbfound way. It is a look of awe, and amazement. It is similar to the one Amar gave me, when he found out my talent of four fears. I notice, suddenly, that Amar and Caleb have the same green eyes. So did Natalie Prior.

"I don't think it's possible for a person to have _that_ good of an aim." He states.

"Well, I can do it, so it's not impossible."

"Prove it." He says.

"Fine. What should I throw. And what's the target?" I ask.

He leaves the room, but comes back a few seconds later with a back bag. It is blue. Erudite. From it, he takes out a a hunk of cheese, and a knife.

"And you think the dauntless are messed up." I say.

"In Erudite, i was assigned to study the aptitude test simulations. They wanted me to see what a person would do if it was not a simulation, but real life. I had this knife, and this cheese. I even trained a dog to attack on command." He says.

"The cheese didn't mold?"

"Of course not. The milk it's made of had a serum to make it last longer. Up to three months." He states.

It might be gross, but I think it's cool.

He positions the cheese on my dresser. He tells me to sit all the way on the other side.

"Hit the dead center." He says.

"Mark it. I don't want you to say that i didn't hit the middle."

He takes a marker, and makes an 'x' through the center.

I breathe in, Imagining the scent of the training room. Metal and sweat. The fierce scent of power. Of courage. Not a hint of selflessness. I wasn't supposed to be that person anymore. Deep inside though, i knew i was.

I breathe out, letting go of the knife at the same time. As expected, it hits the center.

Of course it did. I was trained by Amar. He taught me to control myself- to control my thoughts, and my actions. I've forgotten to control my thoughts with Tris though. That doesn't scare me at all.

Caleb looks at the knife. Maybe now he knows not to get me angered.

"Uh..." He says trailing off. The expression on his face makes it hard not to laugh.

"Now, what else did you need me to talk to you about?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Can I try?" He asks.

An erudite throwing knives. This should be amusing. "Sure." I say shrugging.

He aims the knife, inhaling. He lets go of the knife, and then exhales, the knife falling mid air.

"No, not like _that," _I say, through a small burst of laughter.

"What do you mean 'notlike that'? I imitated you perfectly." He says, scowling.

"You did not." I say, pointing to the knife on the floor.

"Well, do it again, then,"

I pick up the knife, and throw it once more,the knife going through the cheese. At that same moment, the door opens, and Tris looks at us in a confused look. Her eyes drift to Caleb, who is beside me, jaw dropped.

"Tell me he's some kind of dauntless prdigy. Can you do this too?" He asks, eyes still wide, like a frogs.

"With my right hand, maybe. But yes, _four," _I look at her as she says my nickname. Like earlier today, still a bit of a turn on. "is some kind of Dauntless prodigy."

A prodigy that never belonged.

"Can i ask _why _your throwing knives at cheese?" She says, one eyebrow raised.

"Caleb cam by to discuss something. And knife-throwing just came up somehow." I tell her, leaning on the wall behind me. I want her. Now.

"As it so often does." she says, smiling. She stares at me, and I stare back. It is easier to do this, than to look away.

"Anyway, i should be getting back to my room. I'm reading this book about the water filtration systems. The kid that gave it to me looked at me like I was crazy for wanting to read it."

I don't blame that kid.

"I think it's supposed to be a repair manual, but it's fascinating." He continues. "Sorry. You probably think I'm crazy too."

I can't help it.

"Not at all." I say my voice somewhat sarcastic. Caleb doesn't catch on, but the look Tris gives, me I know she knows I'm kidding. "Maybe _you _should read the repair maual too, Tris. It sounds like something you might like."

Tris gives me a look of shock and pure dread.

"I can loan it to." Caleb says, obviously happy to discuss a topic with his sister.

Tris is going torture me for this later.

"Maybe later." She says kindly. Caleb leaves, and the door closes. The second it does, Tris turns around so fast, I might expect her neck to crack. She glares at me, but it makes me want to kiss her.

"Thanks for that. Now he's going to talk my ear off about water filtration and how it works. Though I guess I might prefer that to what he wants to talk to me about."

"Oh and whats that?" I say, my eyebrow arched, and i grin with amusement. Tris is very endearing when she is upset about little things like this. "Aquaponics?"

"Aqua-what?"

"It's one of the ways they grow food here. You don't want to know." I tell her. I remember reading about it. I drifted to sleep on the first page.

"Your right, I don't. What did he come to talk to you about?"

"You. I think it was the big-brother talk. 'Don't mess around with my sister' and all that." I say. I am not messing with her. I truly like her. I get up. Tris came here for a reason, and I wonder if it's the same reason why I want her at the moment.

"What did you tell him?" She asks, tilting her head. I walk to her slowly, careful not to be too eager.

"I told him how we got together-that's how knife-throwing came up. And i told him I wasn't messing around."

I wrap my fingers below her waist line, on her both side of her hip, pushing her gently up against the door.

I place my lips to her hers, and kiss her, allowing her to melt into me. She wraps her left arm around me, pushing me closer. She find the hem of my red shirt, and it goes goes under it, moving against my back.

I almost groan. I kiss her harder, wanting her to be closer to me more than ever. My hands grasping her waist for as long as possible. Her hand on my back as long as well.

I know Tris well enough to know that if she came here, she came for a reason. A part of me wants her to come here for me, and only me.

I should know better.

"This isn't what you came here for." I say pulling back, just a little, so my lips still brush hers.

"No."

"What did you come for, then?"

"Who cares?"

Not me.

Her long fingers go up my hair, and she pulls me down to her again. I let her, because this is what I want. But I realize that she came to talk, and that is what we should be doing.

"Tris." I mutter against her cheek, not very willing to stop, but having to.

"Okay, Okay" She says. I slide my fingers to hers, and guide her to the bed. She sits next to me.

"I followed Marcus and Johanna to the orchard, and heard something he said that caught my attention."

I scowl and my lips frown. I stopped us from kissing, to talk about Marcus?

"He said something about how he and the other leaders had information, and that Jeanine stole it. He didn't tell Johanna what it was though. She tried to pry it out of him, but he had an outburst, and she didn't ask any further questions. Well, what do you think?"

"I think that it's marcus trying to feel more important than he is." As always.

"So...what? You think he's just talking nonsense?"

I think about this. Marcus isn't one to say anything for the hell of it. He just likes to...exaggerate.

"I think there probably is information the Abnegation knew that Jeanine wanted to know, but i think he's exaggerating it's importance. Trying to build up his own ego by making Johanna think he's got something she wants and he wont give it to her."

"I don't...I don't think your right. He didn't sound like he was lying."

This irks me. Who is she believing? Him or me? "You don't know him like I do. He is an excellent liar." I tell her. It is a fact. I remember all the lies he told everyone about my scars, and bruises.

"Maybe you right."

_Maybe? pfft._

"But should we find out what going on? Just to be sure?"

"I think it's more important that we deal with the situation at hand. Go back to the city Find out whats going on there. Find a way to take the Erudite down. Then maybe we can find out what Marcus was talking about, after this is all resolved. Okay?" I ask.

She nods. "Okay."

**Sorry i didn't update last week...I might update again with the next 3 days or so :-D**

**thanks for reading ;) 4**


	5. Chapter 5

That morning I wake up to work in the kitchens. I am assigned to clean the dishes. I am heavy from the lack of sleep, but I manage to stay awake. My the time i wash five dishes, I am alert.

Johanna comes by to see if I am doing my end of the deal. Once she sees I have though, she doesn't leave. She just watches me. After about thirty seconds of her just watching me clean a bunch of dishes, I turn.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Im sorry, I am just estonished that you resemble Marcus in so many features."

I straighten. "I don't want to discuss Marcus at the moment, thank you." I say, closing the topic.

"I'm sorry." She says heaving a sigh. "I just...I've known marcus for a long time, and it is hard for me to picture him being anything other than selfless and kind."

"That's exactly what he expects, and that is partly why he did it." I say. Marcus liked the fact that he had power. He liked to make me feel weak. It made him feel strong.

"I understand. It's like the Erudite say. Don't judge a book by the cover."

I am having trouble not yelling at her to drop the subject, So i don't talk anymore, in hopes that she leaves To my relief she does, and the kitchen door locks. I am alone now in the back room of the kitchen, washing dishes. There is a door that leads to the kitchen, so when I am done, I will have to cross paths with the amity.

The door opens again, and i fear it is Johanna. She is curious, and I don't like answering any personal question. They lead to childhood questions. But it is not Johnna. It is an Amity girl. She is tall, and slender. She wears a red shirt that is v necked, and yellow pants. Her hair is orange, like a ripe pumpkin, and pin straight. Her face is dotted with little freckles. She seems older than Tris, but younger than me. Seventeen, probably.

"Hello." She says smiling. "What's your name?"

It is an easy question, that I don't care to answer, so I do not respond.

"Hey. Are you one of the Abnegation volunteers?"

No response. She comes up to me, and folds her hands on my shoulder. I resist the urge to flinch away. I just straighten with a jolt, and her hands fall off.

"I asked for your name. It isn't considerate to ignore someone you know." She says with a wink.

I turn, raising an eyebrow at her. It is then that she notices the tattoo on my neck.

"Oh. Dauntless." She says smirking. She takes my hand and grips to it, her thumb brushing over my knuckles. I pull back, maybe a little too harshly, but it doesn't matter. I don't want to deal with this right now. I wash my hands, putting soap on it.

"I am not in a mood to talk. So please leave." I tell her through the pouring water in the dishes. I have two more left. I reach for the sponge, but she takes it, and sits in front of me, balancing on the sink.

"I bet I can make you talk."

Oh crap.

She puts the sponge down, and messes my hair around. I pull back, and look at her, angered. She doesn't care. she just stands there, smiling.

I stare at her coldly for a few seconds, before she stops smiling, and her smile, slowly becomes a frown. "I have work to do. And i do not want to be bothered. Is that understood? Come in here again without a reasonable purpose, and I'll gladly be sure to put something poisonous in your water." I tell her slowly, carefully, quietly.

She nods and runs off.

A moment later, an Amity boy, about my age comes by. " Excuse me. My sister tells me that you were rude and inconsiderate to her."

Is that the Amity's worst problem at the moment? A dauntless being 'inconsiderate'? I guess that tops the news of war on abnegation.

"I wasn't being rude. I was telling her a fact. She just came in here and started asking me questions, and then she was trying to distract me from my work." I say as politely as I can. This is turning out to be a bad morning. First Johanna comes by and mentions Marcus. And then that pumpkin girl comes in and tries to get me to talk. And now the dumb brother too.

What a perfect morning.

"I think you should apologize." He says arms crossed.

"I have nothing to be sorry for." I tell him, not looking over my shoulder. I am finished with the plate, so I put it on the rack, and take the plug out of the sink. It drains slowly, and I turn to leave. The brother blocks my path.

"Your not leaving until you apologize." He says eyes narrowed.

I walk around him and reach for the door, but he grabs my shoulder.

"If you don't I'll tell Johanna that you arose a conflict in our compound"

"Is that threat." I snap. "There are cameras. She can see for herself that I was minding my own business when she came in annoying me. I told her i wasn't in a mood to talk. She still didn't bug off." I say. The brother is shorter than me, but by a few inches.

"You didn't have to be rude." He argues.

"It was necessary." I tell him through gritted teeth. "If you don't let go of my shoulder now, I swear to god I'll take one of these plates and throw it at your neck." I say quietly, so the camera's don't hear.

He lets go instantly. I open the door about to leave though, but he says "I'm watching you." I glare, and he glares back, but does a terrible job. He ends up looking away, eyes on the floor. He mutters an apology.

I leave, and walk out of the hell hole, into the cafeteria. My shirt is wet, and my hair is tousled. My eyes are heavy with sleep again. I look like a mess, but who cares?

"What happened?" Tris says containing a smile at how ridiculous I look.

"In their enthusiasm for conflict resolution, the Amity have apparently forgotten that meddling creates_ more_ conflict.." I say as I remember the brother trying to coerce me into apologizing.

I never say sorry without meaning it. Forcing me to do something I did not want to do makes furious, and short tempered. It's miracle the guy came out unscratched.

"If we stay here for much longer, I am going to punch someone and it's not going to be pretty." I tell her. A few amity turn to look at us. One of them is the brother and his sister. "You heard me." I tell everyone at that table. They look away, a little fear in their eyes.

"As i said. What happened?" Tris says her hand covering her mouth. The look in her eyes suggest laughter. What happened in there isn't funny, it was annoying. But the way i must look now, and what i just said to the Amity, must have amused her.

"I'll tell you later." I say. I don't plan to though. It is then that I notice that Caleb and another abnegation girl sit at the same table. I did not go outside during my sixteen years in abnegation to know who she is. I think I may have seen her through my window, but I am not sure. I may have seen her walk by the little gray house i lived in, but I am not sure. All the abnegation look the same.

Well, except for Tris. I would notice her a mile away, even if she had no tattoos, or if her hair wasn't short. I would notice her because she is not like the other Abnegation. She is Divergent. Smart. Brave, selfless. Curious.

She's Tris.

A hand fall on Tris' shoulder, and judging my the way his fingers look-pale, and flexible, like he could grip a toothpicks for hours without it breaking it-It is Marcus. I tense. He is holding her right shoulder.

"She got shot in that shoulder." I say casually. But anger and fear are hidden in the expressionless mask on my face.

"My apologies." He says, and sits on Tris's left. I let out a breathe of relief. He is not sitting next to be.

I scold myself for being such a coward. I have to get over the fact that this man made me feel powerless-made me feel worthless.I have to forget. I don't have to forgive. I just need to forget.

"Hello." He says to Tris, nicely, courteously. He is trying to fool her like he fooled all the abnegation. Tris is not as stupid.

"What do _you_ want?" She says, throwing poison at him from her eyes.

The blond abnegation says something to Tris' but I am focused on watching Marcus...from the corner of my eye.

"I asked you a question." says Tris.

"I would like to discuss something with you." I straighten. That is exactly the tone he would use on my mother before the fighting began. I didn't see what happened. I was stuck in a closet.

"The other Abnegation and myself discussed this and decided that we should not stay here."

_Discussed it, or you just told them what you planned to do, and told everyone to follow._

_"_We believe that given the inevitability of further conflict in our city, it would be selfish of us to stay here while what remains of our faction is inside that fence. We would like to request that you escort us."

Tris thinks about this for a few seconds, before turning to me. "What do you think.?"

"I think we should leave the day after tomorrow." I say. A part of me wants to sigh with relief that Marcus will leave the compound. Another part of me hates that I will have to escort his little pack of gray, that blindly does what's told.

I suppose that Abnegation have forgotten there virtue as well. It is not selfless to do what another person tells you to do. It is weak. It is worthless.

"Okay. thank you." My father says before leaving to go sit with his pack. He thinks of himself as alpha. It is sickening because it is true.

I feel a hand slip through mine. It is warm, and slender. The fingers are long, and careful as that lace together with my own. The gesture feels nice and comforting, but I feel like a coward again.

Tris takes a bite off an apple, her focus directly on the abnegation.

Directly on Marcus.

After breakfast, I plan on discussing dauntless matters with Tris.

Or bringing her to my room to talk with her. She has been hiding things from me. I can tell. It's almost as if she is distancing herself from me. I know it has nothing to do with me, but I told her things-personal things. All I want in return is to know things about her, to engulf my brain with knowledge about her.

But Tris runs off, saying she wants to go for a walk. I decide to walk around the compound a few times, out of boredom.

I would always do that in Dauntless, before Tris came.

I shake my thoughts about that away. I want to know why the Erudite attacked when they did. They have always loved control, and that is was Abnegation had. They refused to give her that power, so she killed them.

It seems accurate, but it is not logical. Jeanine wouldn't just attack out of no where. It wasn't smart of her. The attack was sloppy. She used me to guard the control room at the last second, which means this was hastily planned. Why did she have to attack that day? Wouldn't it have been better to plan it out efficiently, to ward off any trouble?

One thing is for sure though-Jeanine could have made the Attack simulation much worse if she had time, which she probably didn't. What did she want to accomplish out of this?

I realise suddenly, that there is only one thing more important to the Erudite than control, that is more important then power. Knowledge. Tris told me that Marcus knew something. Is he the only one who knows this information, because he is the last leader left? Probably so. But it doesn't make sense.

I remember Amar told me to solve problems, only when I have all the variables there. The Erudite attacked, but it was hastily done, and they had a deadline. When was that deadline? And what was going to happen if they didn't attack?

It is X. An unknown variable. I can come up with a bunch of reasons why they attacked when they did, but I will not know if it correct, unless I gain more information. I need to Isolate the unknown variable, but I can't do that without writing the problem. So i do so with my ever so busy mind.

Divergent **X(SOMETHING ABOUT THE DIVERGENT) **+ a deadline=Attack on abnegation+**X(what was accomplished throughout the attack.)**

There is not enough information to isolate the variable **X**.

I am now standing at the door of the cafeteria. Caleb, and the girl-i learned her name was Susan- still sit, talking. Sitting close, but not to close, but close enough to show there interest.

I decide to Interupt them, just because Caleb was getting on my nerves the other day.

"Hello." I say sitting down. We are not the only ones in the cafeteria. There are a few amity in each table playing board games.

How appropriate in a time of war.

"Hello." Susan says, looking downward.

"Do you know where Tris went?" I ask both of them.

"No. Didn't she say she was going for a walk?" Caleb says.

"Yes, but Tris climbs Ferris wheels in a capture the flag game. Who knows what she means when she says 'Take a walk.'" I tell him in all sincerity.

"It doesn't surprise me that the dauntless can so casually talk about death so easily." Caleb says dryly. I have to say I agree.

"Yeah. But I assure you, most of the Dauntless won't be happy about being a puppet for the Erudite."

"Not all the Erudite are bad." Says Susan. "Some are different." She says gently, most likely talking about Caleb.

"Some are pure evil though. Like the ones who tried to drown Tris in that water tank in the Erudite HQ." says Caleb, his hand in a fist, his head leaning on it.

"What?" I ask. Tris didn't tell me about be drowned, or a water tank, or anything. I didn't ask her about anything that happened in the attack simulation. It isn't a topic to be discussed.

Caleb lowers his voice. " She was about to drown in a water tank. Our mother found her in it, and broke her out. When they Ran out down the street, our mother gave herself up so Beatrice could run to the safe house some Abnegation were hiding in."

I have just found out my girlfriend almost died from forced drowning from her _brother._ That isn't right.

"Didn't she tell you that?" Ask Caleb, eyebrows up, trying to contain a pleased smirk.

"I'm sure she was going to when the she had the time to. Or when she wanted to." I say. Even though I'm not so sure.

"Right." Says Caleb. "Well, I'm going to go help make lunch for my end of the deal for the Amity." He says.

"I'll help you, if you want." Says Susan.

Caleb smiles at her, and Susan hops off, following Caleb to the kitchens.

Tris didn't even tell me that. What else is she keeping from me?

I decide to take a long walk through the orchards to calm me.

Lucky for me, it works.

I fall asleep heavily. My day has been exhausting, and full of drama. It is nice to feel something again though, but I forgot how emotions can make a person do strange things.

I wake late at night to a creak. My door opening. I open one eye, and see it is Tris.

"C'mere." I tell her, as I observe her sleepily. She has bags under her eyes. Her hair is messy. She wears a long t-shirt.

Her legs are not covered

I can't stop myself from staring, as she lays down next to me.

Her face is red, and her eyes blurry with tears.

"Bad dream?" I ask, even though I know the answer. She nods, loss and grief clear on her face.

_This shouldn't be happening to you._ Is all I can think about

"What happened?" I ask, trying to keep my voice gentle.

She shakes her head. Now I know she is keeping things from me.

"We're all right you and ?" I tell her. She nods.

I want her to trust me. I _need_ her to trust me. She is all that matters to me. My friends are missing. Her friends are missing. Her parents are gone. My parents are horrible excuses for a family.

Tris is all I have. She is all I care for. I want her to know that I love her. That i will, no matter what happens.

I will never judge her. I promise myself that.

"Nothing else is alright." I say, picturing the streets of abnegation-probably still covered with debris and corpses.

"But we are." I tell her,my lips brushing her cheek.

"Tobias." She says, her voice trailing off, thinking about what to say. At first, I think she will tell me what's troubling her: She didn't really tell me about her nightmare, so i wait for her to talk to me about it, apprehensive.

Her lips meet my own, and although it isn't what I wanted from her, I accept it without a seconds hesitation, kissing her back, slowly though. My hands hold her cheek, and her arm wraps around my neck. My hands start to move downward, as the kiss deepens. My fingers glide over her body to her waist, up to her hip, until they rest on her leg. My fingers touching her skin, gently, carefully. Tris shudders, but comes closer to me, her leg wrapping around my waist. My breath hitches, but she doesn't notice.

I am not nervous, or hesitant. I am alive. I am eager.

I kiss her, harder, and my fingers slide under the shirt. Her breathes are uneven, and i suspect mine are as well. My fingers slide up to her back, and i notice that she isn't as close to me as I'd want her, so I push my palm to the lower part of her spine, bringing her closer to me.

I still feel like there is something between us.

I move my hand up, and I pull my lips back, taking a breath, before going for her neck, gently kissing at first, but it soon turns passionate. Tris clutches my shoulders, the sleeve of my t-shirt clutched into her fist. My hand is now on the back of her neck, her shirt caught in my arm. My fingers slide over her neck, before i turn it into a fist. I open my eyes a little, and see Tris close to me, melting herself into me, dissolving into one.

My finger brushes the corner of her bandage from her wound, and Tris jolts, but not of pain. Of realization to where this might go towards, and she pulls back. We are both not ready for this. It doesn't seem right to be with her like this, when she is grieving. Her hand find her shirt, and pulls it down covering her again. We stay like this for a while both of us panting. Me from exitement, her from nervousness.

She starts blinking rapidly, and the tears that were swimming in the back of her eyes when she first came in here are ready to burst, and they do, falling over her cheeks. "Sorry." she says.

"Don't apologize." I say. There is nothing to be sorry there? I wipe a tear away from her cheek. It is gone from her cheek, but i don't let go of her face.

"I don't mean to be such a mess. I just feel so..." Her head moves side to side, and her voice croaks.

Tris shouldn't be crying now. We should be in the Dauntless compound, safe with our friends, her family, safe in abnegation. We should be there together, with no fear, no doubt about the two of us.

"It's wrong. It doesn't matter if your parents are in a better place-they aren't here with you, and that's _wrong_ Tris. It shouldn't have happened. It shouldn't have happened to you. And anyone who tells you it's okay is a liar." I tell her harshly.

I am not going to be one of those liars. I am not going to let her hide her feeling. If it's anything I know, it is that when you hide your feelings from others, you hide them from yourself, and you lose interest. you don't care about anyone as much. I know because I've experienced it myself.

She cries, and I wrap my arms, trapping the only person I have left into me. Another thing about emotion, is that if you have to much of it, you break. I let her cry into my shoulder, which is freshly scented with the mint salve I use to prevent my arms from becoming raw. Her shoulder smells like the lemon salve she uses for her shoulder.

Tris calms down, but not because she wants to. Her eyes droop a little, and I know she is purposely fighting of sleep.

"Sleep." I tell her."I'll fight the bad dreams off if they come to get you."

"With what."

"My bare hands obviously." I tell her rolling my eyes. She can't see me do so though. It is dark now.

Her arm encloses around my waist, and she takes a breathe of my arm before letting it go heavily, like a sigh.

She breathes for a few more seconds, before her eyes flutter, and she starts to go limp, breathing evenly, through her mouth, and i know she is about to fall asleep.

"I love you, Tris." I whisper to her against her ear. She doesn't reply, and i know it is only because she is asleep.

At least I hope...

**How was that :3 Thanks to everyone who was so supportive of this story :D especially lovedivergent, who is one of the people who always motivates me to write more :3**

**I'd also like to thank pinkfreak805 for reviewing, and for her support :)**

**REMEMBER I DO NOT OWN THE DIALOGUE OR THE PLOT OR THE CHARACTERS, OR THE STORY! THIS IS THE WORK OF VERONICA ROTH!**


	6. Chapter 6

I wake up before Tris does. She sleeps next to my, her lips separated just a little, her face slack, her eyes closed. She looks peaceful, which could only mean she had no more nightmares. I get up and wash up, splashing water on my face. I rinse my mouth, and look in the mirror. I've gotten used to seeing my reflection in the mirror after two years. In the mirror i see a hooked nose, ears that stick out, and dark blue eyes. I am tall. My legs are long so I can run fast, but I am not that _strong_ really. I'm faster, then I am strong. I am strong enough to fight, and win, but i could not win with strength alone-I'd need my speed. Amar had told me.

My hair looks black, but I know it is truly a dark dark brown. Dark enough that it looks black when it is short. I can see my facial hairs come into view. I find an electrical razor in the cabinet behind the mirror. I take it, and start with the side of my jaw.

By the time I reach the side of my other jaw, I see Tris shuffle asleep. My face is tilted to shave the other side of my jaw. Tris pulls her knees to her chest, and watches me. I remember that she is only wearing T-shirt.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" I say to her.

"Okay." She says. I return to the mirror, to start on my chin, when I feel a pair of arms enclose around my waist, the fingers folding on my abdomen. I feel Tris's forehead pressed near the top of my spine. I put the razor away, near the counter. I put my hands over hers. They are long, and thin. There are scars on them. I suppose that's okay though. This is a war. People don't come out of a war unscratched. I didn't. I have the scar of weakness. I can't even stand up to my father.

My fingers glide over the scars. They are tiny. Tris doesn't take the time to look at her hands, so she probably doesn't know she has them. The cuts are small and healing.

"I should go get ready." Tris says, but the tone she uses tells me she doesn't want to. It is her turn to do her part for the amity. Her shoulder is wounded, but she can still use her hands. A good thing. Tris doesn't need me to watch over her, or give her pity. She is strong. She knows how to keep going.

"I'll get you something to wear." I tell her. I don't want anyone looking at Tris' legs.

I walk out the room, and ask an amity for some shorts. She comes back a few seconds later with a pair that should fit Tris.

I hear a scream. A scream in Amity. This can't be good.

I speed walk to the source, and i see a crowd of Amity huddled over Peter and Tris. She furious- she has the same look she had when she beat the hell out of Molly. I am about to carry her out, but a few Amity beat me to it. Tris tries to lunge at him again. A few Amity let out disappointed whispers.

"Tris calm down!" I order her with the same tone i use as an instructor.

"He has the hard drive! He stole it from me! He has it!" She exclaim still straining to rip Peter to shreds. There is an amity woman next to him. Peter looks at me as if he is about to run away, or scramble to his feet. I put my foot on his rib cage before he can. I hear him wheeze. I take out the hard drive, not very well hidden in his pocket.

I'm dissapointed and rigid. Pater obviously hasn't picked a side for the war. He isn't reliable. Who knows what he would have done with the data. "We won't be in this safe house forever, and this wasn't very smart of you."I say quietly, my anger building up. _Breathe_ i tell myself.I turn to Tris. _she_ usually isn't so stupid. "Not very smart of you you want to get us kicked out?" I ask her. I am more upset with her, because this kind of stupidity is expected in Peter, but her? She just scowls, still viciously mad. The Amity guy tries to pull Tris away.

"What do you think your doing? Let go of me!" She exclaims, unwilling.

"You violate the terms of our peace agreement. We must follow protocol." He says gently. Tris looks astonished. They will most likely try to calm her down.

"Just go. You eed to cool down." I tell her sternly. She looks around, probably now aware of so many people here. She huffs, but lets the Amity men take her some place for her to relax.

I just shake my head. I feel left down, and angry. So I do what I did yesterday. I take a walk to the orchards.

I stroll down the orchard. The apples are full grown, and the scent is even more sweet and refreshing than it was when we first arrived here. The air is fresh and cool. I pretend the light breeze will cleanse my mind of any anger.

Once the breeze is gone though, i feel upset again. So I take deep breathes. A butterfly with orange and black wings flies by. I remember reading about a manipulative butterfly. It looks like another type of butterfly, The monarch that isn't hunted by birds because it tastes terrible. The butterfly that looks like it, The Viceroys, looks almost exactly like the monarch, protecting itself from the prey.

In my mind the dauntless traitors are the Viceroys. They pretend to be brave,and they look the part on the outside. Inside though is the sense of cowardice.

We should hunt the Erudite down first. And then The dauntless. The dauntless currently do whatever the Erudite tell them. If we take out all the Erudite, then the dauntless have no other plan. They have no strategy, and no plan.

It is the first time I am happy that the dauntless don't take the time to plan things out.

"Four!" A voice says. It sounds like Tris, but it is a little...off.

"Four! Where are you?"

"Tris?" I say look to my side. I go under a tree branch to avoid hitting my head. Tris giggles.

Tris giggling?

She runs to me, fast, and she almost topples over.

"Woah there! Careful."I say balancing her by putting my hand on her waist line. I am not sure she heard me, because before I can even think about what to do next, she presses herself into me forcefully.

"What did they -"I start to question, but I am cut off with Tris mouth on mine. I am shocked that she would do this, and my mind has no idea what is going on, but it likes the idea of her on me, kissing me. I kiss her back in that second, but she pulls back, and sighs.

"That was lame. Okay, no it wasn't but,..." She says. She is about to kiss me again.

There is something very wrong with this. I press my index finger on her lips to stop her. She looks at it cross-eyed. "Tris. What did they do to you? Your acting like a lunatic." I say concerned.

"That's not a very nice of you to say." Yes, something is definitely wrong with this picture. She looks at my lips again, and I tilt my head to the side, an eyebrow arched. "They put me in a good mood, that's all. And now I really want to kiss you, so if you could just _relax-_" If i here the last of that sentence I might give in, so i cut her off.

"I'm not going to kiss you. I'm going to find out whats going on." I tell her slowly, because the looks she gives me, tells me she won't bother to listen to any words more than three syllables.

She pouts her lip, when I say that I am not going to kiss her. I am not sure I like Tris this way. She grins, and i can almost hear the gears turning in her head. "_That's_ why you like me! Because your not very nice either! It makes so much sense now."

I stop myself from laughing. Her eyes are wide, and her hands shake with excitement. She is like a hyper dauntless eight year old, on a sugar high. That is not why I like her. I like her because she isn't a soft fragile girl- she strong and head 's brave. She could never be a shrinking violet. Ever. And I love her determination, and her cunning mind that is sharp, and curious. I love it, and I need it, I need _her._ Not this girl who is still looking at my lips like it's a target she needs to get.

"Come on. We're going to see Johanna."

"I like you too." She says trying to kiss me again, her arms wrapping around my neck, her face close to mine.

"That's encouraging." I reply emotionless. Now that I know Tris doesn't really mean to do this, It is scary. They did something to her to make her a crazy maniac. That keeps trying to kiss me.

Well, she was. No she looks at the sky at a leaf that is blowing away, her head moving the leaf's movements. "Come _on._"I tell her, tugging her hand. She doesn't move an inch. Now she looks at a seagull, like it's the coolest thing in the world. "Oh for God's sake. I'll just carry you." I say heaving an annoyed sigh.

She comes willingly, my hand under her knee. another on the middle of her spine. She hugs my neck so tightly, I almost choke, and pecks my cheek. To others, we must look like a true amity couple.

Well we would if i wasn't giving Tris a 'are you insane?' look as she buries her head in the crook of my neck while moving her feet up and down, making it harder for me to move her.

Hey. at least she's not squirming.

I kick the door open, since I don't have the patience to knock, and I open my mouth to start asking about my girlfriend, and what they did to make her into an eight year old child on a sugar high, but Tris talks first, and fast, like it is a tongue twister. "You really shouldn't cover up your scar. You look prettier with your hair out of your face." She says.I raise an eyebrow while setting her down to her feet. When I do, she starts laughing at her toes, and I am now scared. Johanna gives her the same look I gave her a few minutes ago.

I don't need to emphasize why I'm here, but I do it anyway. "What did you do to her? What in God's name did you do?" I say pointing at Tris who quietly counts how many fingers she has. Apparently she has thirty five. The way her eyes drift to me and Johanna tells me that she is listening though.

"I...They must have given her too much. She's very small; they probably didn't take her height and wait into account."

"They gave her too much of _what?"_ I ask. I should have known only drugs can make Tris act like a silly little girl. I know it can't be alcohol. It doesn't matter how much of it she would drink, she could never turn into this.

"You have a nice voice." She says to me head tilted, smiling a little.

I can't focus with her smiling and laughing at me. And I think she still has plans about kissing me.

"Tris. Please be quiet." I tell her slowly.

I'm going to laugh about this later for sure.

"The peace serum. In small doses, it has a mild, calming effect and improves the mood. The only side effect is some slight dizziness."

Slight? The way Tris is moving her head around in circles begs to differ.

"We administer it to members of our community who have trouble keeping the peace."

I almost laugh sarcastically at that, and i do. "I'm not an idiot. _Every _member of your community has trouble keeping the peace because they're all human. You probably dump it into the water supply." I say frustrated. We're staying here for safety, but if safety means seeing Tris like this almost everyday, I'd rather go back to dauntless.

Johanna folds her hands. "Clearly you know that is not the case, or this conflict would not have occurred. But whatever we agree to do here we do it as a faction. If i could the serum to everyone in this city, I would." She says that as if it was a good thing. " You would certainly not be in this situation you are in now if I had."

I would rather have the city in natural, human emotion war, than have a buncch of people laughing and forcing to be nice and peaceful.

I used to think the Amity were the closest thing to actual humanity-I was wrong.

"Oh definitely. Drugging the entire population is the best solution to our problem Great plan."

"Sarcasm is not kind, Four." It wasn't meant to be. "Now, I am sorry about the mistake in giving too much to Tris, I really am. But she violated the terms of our agreement, and I'm afraid you might not be able to stay here much longer as a result."

That is what I was afraid of.

"The conflict between her and that boy-Peter- is not something we can forget."

I think about Peter almost throwing Tris off the Chasm, and fighting her unil she went unconscious. I remember Marcus lashing his belt on me, the stinging pain afterward. I remember being trapped inside my closet.

"Don't worry." I say my voice so far off, it doesn't sound like it's mine, my anger momentarily forgotten. "We intend to leave as soon as humanly possible."

"Good. Peace between Amity and Dauntless can only happen when we maintain our distances from each other." She says a smile painted on her face.

"That explains a lot."

"Excuse me? What are you insinuating?" She says sounding offended.

I am frustrated. Can't she tell? Or are the Amity so open-minded that there common sense flies away?

"It explains why under a pretense of neutrality-as if such a thing was possible!-you have left us to die in the hands of the Erudite." I say, grinding my teeth to stop myself from shouting. The Erudite can come in any second, and so can the traitors. We can all be dead my this week, and the Amity might not do a thing about it.

The Amity representative knows that. I can tell she knows that when she sighs, but says nothing- she just stares out the window. That's when Tris speaks up.

"The Amity wouldn't do that. That's _mean."_

Me and Johanna decide to ignore her.

"It is for the sake of peace that we remain uninvolved-"

"Peace." I say shocked. "Yes i'm sure it will be very peaceful when we are all dead or cowering in submission under the threat of mind control or stuck in an endless simulation."

She has a look of shock, and terror on her face. They make her face twist up. From the corner of my eye I see Tris trying to do it too, but the way she does it makes her look like she's trying not to laugh.

"The decision is not mine to make. If it was, perhaps we would be having a different conversation right now."

I am trying to understand. Is Johanna saying she does not agree with the choice her faction made?

"Are you saying we disagree with them?"

"I am saying that it is not my place to disagree with my faction publicly, but I might in the privacy of my own heart."

I understand now. Even Amity had long drifted from what Amity was meant to be. It was meant to be a free place, a place of love and prosper and emotion. Not forced happiness and fake joy.

"Tris and I will be gone in two days. I hope your faction doesn't change their decision to make this compound a safe house."

Our decsisions are not easily unmade. What about Peter?" She asks.

"You'll have to deal with him separately. Because He won't be coming with us."

As soon as the word us leaves my vocal chords, I take Tris' hand and turn to leave. To my relief, she follows.

"Four, if you and your friends would like to remain...untouched by our serum, you may want to avoid the bread."

I knew it.

"Thank you." I say without turning around, closing the door behind me with Tris next to me. She hops at every step, and i give her a kiss on her neck, beneath her ear.

"Where we going." Tris says eyes wide, looking at everything.

"Your room." I reply simply.

She grabs my hand and makes me walk faster towards her room. And then she sighs.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Nothing." but I know she is lying.

"Tell me." I urge her. I say, breathing on her neck.

"You'll see." She says a mischievous grin on her face.

When we finally reach her room, she pulls me in. "Tris." I tell her. "I can't stay. Someone has to do the laundry you were supposed to do and-" Her lips cut me off, and I groan. I almost forgot about her important task of kissing me. I pull back, her elbows on my shoulders, her fingers going up my hair. "I'll come back in an hour to see how your doing." I tell her.

"I'm doing fine. Now you know. Stay." She says her hands now on my chest.

I sigh, slowly kissing her. "Your not doing fine." I tell her my forehead on hers. I kiss the tip of her nose before walking away out the door.

I go down to the laundry room to see it being done by Peter, scowling at the pile of yellow and red. He mumbles something to himself. I hear the words "Stiff" and "choke."

"What was that?" I say bitterly. He jumps, not knowing I was there.

"Nothing." He says going back to the laundry.

"Why are you doing the laundry?" I ask.

"The Amity said it's my 'punishment' for sneaking into her room and stealing her things." He says.

"Who shot you?"

"Your little stiff." He says scowling ."That would explain why she's first."

This is exactly why I tried to hide us from the rest of Dauntless.

"She's first because she did a better job in her fear landscape than you did, and because she was good with the simulations." I say dryly. "I'm not the one who chose the ranks anyway. The leaders did that." I say shrugging, leaning on the frame of the door.

"Sure. I can't believe you chose her though. She's not even pretty or anything."

"A sick person like you wouldn't understand."

"whatever." He says slamming a few more clothes in the washer. "As if your any nicer to her. If I remember correctly, you threw a knife in her ear, and called her pathetic in front of all the initiates. Not that it wasn't true..."

"I lied you dim wit." I say my fists clenched.

He doesn't believe me. "What happened to the weakling anyway? After she attacked me?"

I find that funny coming from the guy who almost drowned her.

"Napping." I think. I hope...

"When are we leaving Amity?"

"WE are leaving in a few days. YOU are staying here." I tell him.

"What!"

"Your certainly not following Tris and I. Besides, you have an arm injury."

"SO DOES THE STIFF!" he shouts.

"She handles it better than you." I tell him. "She's strong that way. Unlike you. _weakling."_ I say mimicking what he called her a few minutes ago.

I slam the door shut before I can here is response. I go back to the orchards, and pick apples for the Amity. From down here, I can see Tris's window. I see Tris looking out the window at me. I smile to myself.

This is going to be an interesting day.

_**FINISHED ANOTHER CHAPTER :D**_

_**I'm so close to 100 fans :3**_

_**Thanks to everyone who commented :D **_

_**DEDICATED TO KATO13 ON a great author, and i hope you continue your version too :D**_


	7. Chapter 7

I check on Tris every time the clock ends with the number thirty. The first time I came in, she was playing a game with a flower, picking at it's petals, counting them. The next time I went to check on her, she pulled me in, closed the door, and crashed her mouth to my own. I didn't mind that, it's just that it didn't feel right to kiss her when she was in that state. The third time, she was on the bed, back down, her legs up. She claimed she wanted her feet to touch the ceiling.

The fourth one was my favorite. I came in, careful not to surprise her. She is on the floor, leaning against the bed, her head duck low. I come in, and close the door behind me, and sit next to her. I am about to ask her how she is feeling, but she covers my mouth with the palm of her hand.

"Shh. There watching us." She says a harsh whisper.

"Who?"

"Them." She says pointing her thumb over her shoulder to the window. I follow my gaze to where she pointed, and see a seagull.

I put my head in my hands, and stop myself from laughing, a faint snort comes out anyway.

"Tris. Seagulls don't hurt people." I say lifting my head up, and tilting it to look at her."

"That's what they want you to think!"

I sigh, and pick up a small stone that is under her bed, and throw it at the closed window. The seagull fly's away.

"The enemy has left." I tell Tris, my lips grinning.

"Yes!" She says, both hands up, stretching.

"You are absolutely frightening like this." I tell her.

"Aren't I always terrifying?"

I chuckle and give her a kiss on her cheek. I am about to get up, but Tris stop me, pushing me down to floor, back pressed against it. She climbs on top of me,her legs wrapped against both sides of my waist, her hands on both my shoulders, pinning me down.

"Please stay." She says eyes wide, her bottom lip trembling a little. She is acting, but it is admiring. But I still have to go do more dumb chores.

"I can't, Tris. It's almost dinner, and the Amity need help." I tell her.

She doesn't listen, she just puts her ear against my chest, listening to my heartbeat. Her hands are no longer pinning me down. I sigh, as I lift her off of me, and put her on her bed, so she is laying down.

"I'll be back in an hour." I whisper in her ear. She looks me cross-eyed. I kiss her lips lightly. They taste like mint and lemon-tea leaves.

I leave the room, closing the door behind me, locking it.

I am cautious this time as I enter the room. I expect to see her counting the dots in the ceiling, or trying to lick her nose with her tongue, but when I open the door, I see Tris- Normal Tris- looking at a wall, like she is mentally trying to burn it out of anger.

Yup, she's back.

"Thank God." I say almost banging my head at the door out of relief. "I was beginning to think it would never wear off and I would have to leave you here to..." Hide from seagulls. "Smell flowers, or whatever you wanted to do while you were on that stuff."

"I'll kill them. I will_ kill _them." She says, pushing her fingers in her palm so hard, I think she might start bleeding.

"Don't bother. We're leaving soon anyway." I say locking the door, and take out the hard drive that is hidden in my pocket. I don't know why Tris didn't destroy it, but it seems to be important to her-important enough not to shred to pieces. "I thought we could hide this behind you dresser."

"That's where it was before."

"Yeah, and that's why Peter won't look for it here again."

I walk to the dresser, pushing it from the wall, and sticking the hard drive in.

"Why couldn't I fight the peace serum? If my brain is weird enough to resist the simulation serum, why not this one?" She asks me quietly.

"I don't know really." I say plopping myself onto the bed."Maybe in order o fight off a serum, you have to want to."

"Well obviously I wanted to." She says annoyed probably, that I would think other wise.

"Sometimes people just want to be happy, even if it's not real." I explain to her, my arm across her good shoulder.

She is silent for a while, thinking to herself. She is so still, so quiet, it's as if she has blended into the room, the walls.

"You might be right." She says, almost a whisper.

Suddenly the crazy events of what happened today pop into my mind, and I can't stop myself.

"Are you conceding?" I say, my jaw dropping in fake drama. "Seems like that serum did you some good after all..." It did too. It was nice to see her not moping around for a few hours.

She pushes my chest hard, but not hard enough to do much damage. "Take that back. Take it back _now."_ She exclaims, scowling, but she smiling.

"Okay, Okay!" I say, putting my hands up in fake surrender. "It's just...I'm not very nice either, you know. That why I like you so-"

"Out!" She says, pointing her finger, showing me the door. It is exactly how she pointed at the seagull.

I laugh, I kiss her cheek, and leave the room, this time, without Tris stopping me.

**Hey :) I only wrote this part of the chapter because this is the chapter where He yells at her, and I don'y want to right anything like that on thanksgiving... and ways, happy thanksgiving, and Christmas is almost here! :D **


	8. Chapter 8

Tris doesn't come down for dinner. I don't go up to her, guessing she just wants some time to herself, and I give her just that. I see that Caleb is with Peter and the abnegation girl, Susan.

Peter. Why would Peter be with Caleb? Then I know why. Susan adjust Peter's sling. Susan, being the abnegation that she is, must have requested him to join her and Caleb for dinner. If only she knew the terrible things he is capable of, broken arm or not.

I join them, but I am quiet. I told Tris my plan. The question is when to leave Amity. I sigh heavily, hoping she comes down here.

And as if on cue, she does appear. She comes up to me, once she sees me. Her breath is ragged and shaky, breathless. She smells life apples and earth, obviously meaning she was outside.

"Erudite." Is all she says. She doesn't need to say anymore. An abnegation member hears, and comes forth.

"Coming here?" I question.

A nod in return.

"Do we have time to run?"

Tris thinks about this, but doesn't answer. I suppose she doesn't want to tell anyone the truth.

No. We don't have time to escape. The abnegation members surround us in a semicircle.

"Why do we need to run? The Amity established this place as a safe house. No conflict allowed."

"The Amity will have trouble enforcing that policy." Marcus says, eyes narrowed. I try to not be a coward, but I look at my shoes when he talks, on instinct. "How do you stop conflict without conflict?"

A nod from Susan.

"But we can't leave. We don't have time. They'll see us."

We have no choice but to fight out way out.

"Tris has a gun. We can try to fight our way out." I say, about to turn and retrieve it.

"Wait." Tris says, stoping me mid turn.

"I have an idea. Disguises. The Erudite don't know for sure that we're still here. We can pretend to be Amity."

Why didn't I think of that? Oh yes. Because Tris is smarter then you. I smirk.

"Those of you who aren't dressed like Amity should go to the dormitories then. The rest of you, put your hair down;Try to mimic their behavior." Marcus orders them, and they scurry off.

The rest of us follow, changing quickly. I take a look in a small mirror to see if I look Amity material. I see my tattoo of flames on display, that may as well say "come and kill me." I groan, and rummage around for a shirt with a longer collar that might cover my tattoo well enough. Lucky for me it does. I change my pants too. I spend countless seconds going through yellow and red pants until I finally find some jeans. They are wrinkly on the knees though.

I take another look in the mirror and I look absolutely ridiculous.

I look like the Amity all right.

I see a whole bunch of Abnegation gray, and stuff as much as I can into one trash bin.

"Do you think the Amity will lie for us?" A voice says. It is low, and quiet, but distinct.

"To prevent conflict?" I think of why the Candor don't like the Amity. The candor believe that peace can easily be achieved by false facts and lies. I am happy we didn't ask for refuge In candor.

"Absolutely." I tell Tris with a nod. She checks my clothes, and raises an eyebrow. "Nice shirt." She says, sarcasm obviously intended. I scrunch my nose up at her. I know I look like an idiot. I don't need to be reminded. And she looks just as stupid.

Who am I kidding. I look dorkier. But I have my reasons."It was the only thing that covered up the neck tattoo, okay?" I tell her heaving a sigh, and scowling. She smiles, and checks her collarbone. The shirt she wears covered the three ravens, representing her family, the ones she loves.

Could I be one of her ravens one day?

The cars pull up. I see why Tris knew it was Erudite. Only they would be able to build cars that can rin on solar energy. People come out of those cars. some wear blue, but the majority wear black.

The dauntless. As they come closer, a visible piece of blue cloth wraps tightly around each of there arms. There loyalty to the intelligent ones. there loyalty to the faction that almost killed them.

I narrow my eyes. Could my friends have sided with the Erudite? I take Tris hand. We did not expect any dauntless to appear. I guide her to the amity dormitory. A part of my remembers when I helped her to the transfer dorms when she had her fear simulation of crows.

"I didn't think out faction would be that stupid, You have the gun, right?"

"Yes. But there's no guarantee i can fire it with my left hand." Tris points out.

Which means she is unable to defend herself properly if someone where to attack her.

"You should work on that." I state dryly.

"I will." He voice goes cold. "If we live."

I hear how she says we. A beautiful word when she talks about me and her.

We need to live. We have to. My muscles clench. She's usually determined. Tris would never think so negatively. Something isn't right. But now isn't the time.

Her eyes are nervous,look through the corners of her eyes. She looks innocent. Fragile. To someone else, she might look weak. To me, she looks brave.

"Just bounce a little when you walk." I say, kissing her temple. "and pretend you're afraid of their guns" I kiss her below her forehead, above the bridge of her nose. "and act like the shrinking violet you could never be." I kiss her cheek, which is now a burning pink. "And you'll be fine." I assure her. She is good at pretending to be vulnerable. She;s done it before. This is no different.

"Okay." She pulls my long shirt collar , and her lips join with mine. A bell rings, which tell the Amity, and ourselves to gather in the dining hall.

Susan assists Tris in the art of acting like a normal average Amity. At the right moment too. We sit and as we wait, Tris and I stare at each other. I can't assure her, when I can't calm myself either. So we sit there, telepathically sending each other messages that we imagine ourselves having. Then Johanna talks, interfering with our signals.

"Our Erudite and Dauntless friends are looking for some people. Several members of Abnegation, three members of Dauntless, and a former Erudite initiate. In the interest of full cooperation, I told them that the people were, in fact, here, but have since moved on. They would like permission to search the premises, which means we have to vote. Does anyone object to a search." She asks kindly, but the sternness in her voice clear and firm. No one raises there hands.

"Three of you stick around." The Erudite woman orders the Dauntless."The rest of you, search all the buildings and report back if you find anything. Go."

The dauntless come forward, and I tense. I have been in dauntless for two years. I am famous there for having a limited amount of four fears. I was so famous for that, it became my new name in dauntless itself. We did not count on the Erudite to bring a handful of dauntless. One of them might just be able to recognize me.

And one just might. It is Madge, A dauntless leader. I shot her thigh last time I remember. I look away staring at the table. She will recognize me. Of course she will. I was the one who shot her. Her leg has healed quickly and well enough though, courtesy of of Erudite.

"Your hair is pretty short for an Amity." She states.

She has an idea of who I am, and I know there is no way of hiding now. Tris sits across from me, and although she could have went unnoticed, Madge would remember her as well. I try anyway.

"It's hot." I say, but it comes out to quickly and fiercely.

I feel a tug on my collar, and I am prepared to act. I grab her arm, and pull it so she loses her balance, her head smacking the table. A gun fires, and a few shout while others duck under tables and benches. I grab Madge by the neck, and push her to her feet. I take her gun and shoot at the soldiers across the room, using Madge as a human shield. If they sided with her and the rest of the corrupt dauntless leaders, then they wouldn't dare shoot at Madge.

And then I see Tris. I expect her to duck under a table, and shoot at other soldiers, but no. She stays still as a statue.

Frozen.

"Tris!" I yell, and her mind snaps back to reality. "A little help here?" I ask frustrated, as I see other Dauntless guards coming toward us.

Tris reaches for her gun, but winces when she touches it. A soldier aims his gun at her, and my eyes widen. I am about to shoot him, but I see Caleb take Tris gun, and fires twice at the mans knees.

He screeches, and falls, and holds his leg in pain. He won't be in pain much longer.

I shoot him in the head. I see the Erudite woman, obviously the one in charge of giving orders. Her mouth opens, about to yell some more orders, but I stop her with my gun, which is running dangerously low on bullets. "Say another word. And I'll shoot." I say my voice low. She says nothing more, but her mouth is still open, a command stuck in her throat.

"Whoever's with us should start running." It is time to leave the Amity.

Pairs of feet shuffle out.

The Erudite women has a gun, and it aims at someone-aims at Peter.

As much as I hate him, he can't die now. I don't know why. but he 's the only other dauntless we know of on our side.

I reach for my gun as she pushes the trigger, and I know I am too late. Well, I would have been if Tris had not pushed Peter out of the bullets tracks. Luckily the bullet doesn't hit her either.

"Put the gun down." I say, my barrel pointing toward her head as I inhale. "I have _very _good aim, and I'm betting you don't." I say as I see the gun tremble from her shaky hands. I walk backwards my gun trained at the women, Tris and Peter ahead of me. I slam the door separating myself from her, and we all scatter.

"I have to...stop..." Says a small voice behind us. Susan.

We take a small break, but Tris look alert, almost eager to keep going. Susan whimpers, and Caleb comforts her.

Tris and I look at the city ahead of us. The light shine through it, and it's a wonderous sight, especially since we were in Amity for a few days. The city makes me feel alive. It helps me think.

It helps me remember how Tris was frozen as a statue when bullets flew around her head.

"What was that Tris?" I start quietly."

"What?" She croaks out.

What else! "You froze! someone was about to kill you, and you just _sat _there! I though I could rely on you at least to save your own life!" I say shouting at her. I can't help it. She could have died today, and then what? What would happen to me? How would I be able to live the rest of my life?

"Hey! Give her a break, all right?" Caleb says defending her.

"No." I snap. "She doesn't need a break." I say. But then I look at Tris, she looks unsettled, she looks fragile. She looks tired.

I might not be helping her by yelling at her.

"What happened?" I say, making sure to be gentle this time. I know she is strong. She was ranked first after all. But I just have this feeling in my chest, rising to my throat, up to my brain. It tells me that something isn't right. That someone has lied to me. That someone is Tris, and I suppose the more I yell at her, the more likely she is to keep things from me.

She coughs once. "I panicked. It won't happen again."

I give her a look. How can I be sure of that?

"It won't." She says stretching her words to add emphasis.

"Okay." I say, dissuaded. I'll get back to her on that later. "We have to get somewhere safe. They'll regroup and start looking for us." I say.

"You think they care that much about us?" Tris asks.

"Us, yes." I say referring to Tris and I. We ruined there simulation program, leaving a job of theirs unfinished.

And we are Divergent.

"We were probably the only ones they were really after, apart from Marcus, who is most likely dead."

I say emotionless. It doesn't matter if he were dead or alive, really, because either way, he did those things to me. Either way, he locked me in a closet, and either way I fell asleep to the sounds of parents fighting, and the sobs of Evelyn at night.

Either way he will always torment me. Either way, I will always be the coward that left because of his father.

Either way, I will never truly be Dauntless.

"Tobias..." Tris says, her words trailing off. I don't want her to continue.

"Time to go." I tell Caleb and Susan.

Caleb has to help Susan to her feet, encouraging her to get up and keep going.

I see Tris moving out, determined. It is then that i know that she sin't broken yet.

It is then that I realize how different she is, and how strong she can be. How capable she is than most girls.

It is then that I remember why I fell for her in the first place.

And so I walk beside her, my anger slightly subsided.

**Im so sorry for the late update... Thanks to everyone who reviewed or commented :) Well, I have to tell ya guys something...Im not going to read divergent until the 22nd of february. Why? Well, a year before that date is when I first picked up Divergent and started to read it. I though If I took a break from the book, I could forget everything that happened, so it would be like reading it again! So that means I'll update Insurgent a little less...sorry :( Also, I have a new story called the fire within, check it out :)**


	9. Chapter 9

I walk on the railings of the railroad tracks. It's childish of me, maybe, but it helps me focus on my balance rather than other things. Every so often I remember Tris stay frozen as bullets whiz past her, and I forget about my focus on balancing, and I start to shake. Not because of the balancing. It is because of the shudders I get imagining what it would be like if one of those bullets didn't miss. What if one of those bullets went in her skull? I wobble again, almost falling off.

I faint noticeable sound comes, almost like a low whistle. The train might be coming. Tris bends down and pressing her hands into the railing, in front of where I now stand. Her eyes close slowly. A few seconds later she stares beyond the path the train makes. It is visible a few seconds later.

"It's coming. I think we should get on." Tris says.

"Even if it's run by Erudite?" Her brother asks.

"If the Erudite were running the train, they would have taken it to the Amity compound to look for us. I think it's worth the risk. We'll be able to hide in the city. Here we're just waiting for them to find us," I say.

Tris' brother explains to Susan how to get on a train in a step by step sequence, as if he were teaching her how to tie her shoes.

Tris runs, and I follow. Caleb helps Susan in, and Tris jumps, but is only a few more inches out. Caleb has to pull her in the rest of the way. I grab the handle and pull myself in easily.

When we take a look at our surroundings, however, we see eyes glimmering in the dark.

Part of Evelyn's crew.

I jolt to awareness, my gun in my hand. The factionless man points a gun at me. It is a dauntless gun. The ones used for initiation.

I remember doing a count on the guns this initiation, some time after stage one. There was one missing.

Right after Edward left.

Next to him a girl holds a small knife, and behind both of them is an older man holding long piece of wood. They are in perfect formation. I assume Evelyn taught them how to prepare your self for things like this.

"I've never seen the Amity armed before." Says knife girl.

I just remembered how we are wearing yellow and red.

Edward stares at me. "They aren't Amity. They're dauntless." He has an eye patch from where Peter stabbed him. Luckily, Peter is not with us.

"Hello Edward." Tris says, her voice rather low.

He turns his head, his gun still aimed at me, and says, "Tris."

"Whatever you are, you'll have to get off this train if you want to stay alive." Knife girl says.

"Please." A small voice says beside me. "We've been running…and the rest of them are dead and I don't…I don't think I can keep going, I…" She sobs between words. Although this disgusts me, making my pinch my nose, the sympathy act might just help us here. The factionless _will_ push us off.

"We're running from the Erudite If we get off, it will be easier for them to find us. So we would appreciate it if you let us ride into the city with you." Caleb says.

"Yeah. What have you ever done for us."

"I helped you when no one else would. Remember."

I remember. She was acting selfless that day. Eric was in the control room with me then. He noticed too. I remember him saying "hmm." Like he did when I through the knives.

Edward looks at Tris for a moment, curiosity glinting in his eye. He wouldn't be able to push off someone who was there with him when he got his scar. Even his girlfriend didn't do much for him. She sat in the corner crying and sobbing for him, as Tris sat near him and assured him.

"You, maybe. But the others? Not so much." He says looking at me.

He thinks I am to blame for his departure. I had no control over it, but he's right. I could have tried.

But he can't push me off. Because I am who I am.

I step forward, the gun now a few centimeters from my throat. "My name is Tobias Eaton. I don't think you want to push me off this train." I dare them.

The seconds they hear the words "Tobias." And "Eaton." They put their guard down, the weapons they hold lowered.

They look at each other. "Eaton? Really?" Edward says puzzled. "I have to admit, I did not see that coming." He mutters, clearing his throat. "Fine, you can come. But when we get to the city, you've got too come with us."

He smiles an evil smile. "We know some who's been looking for you." He tell me. Then adds mockingly. "Tobias Eaton."

I sit down on the ledge of the train cart, my legs hanging out of the car. Maybe I can jump off, and run for it when I am near the city, just to avoid seeing Evelyn.

I might have if I wasn't with Tris. There is no way I am leaving her alone. She sets next to me, her legs dangling as well.

"Do you know who it is?" Tris asks.

There is no point in lying now, but words evade me, so I just nod.

"Who, then?" She probes.

"It's hard to explain." I say. My mother is supposed to be dead. She is leader of the factionless.

"I have a lot to tell you." I finish. And it's true. I want to tell her she's more to me than I ever had. I want to tell her about my own initiation, about how I won capture the flag just as she had. I want to tell her about Amar, and how he was like a real father should be toward me. He was closer to me than a brother ever would have. He was the person who would always make me laugh with how foolish he was occasionally, but how seriously lethal he could be when it was a time to be in check. How he died, and how that affected me.

"Yeah." Tris says, her voice breaking my silent memories. "So do I."

The only thing that comes to mind is _I'll bet you it isn't as bad as what I have to say._

And with that we quietly ride until the factionless tell us to jump.

**Hey! I updated! Sorry if it's short, but I'm trying to forget the whole plot of Divergent, so when I read it on February 22 (and finish two weeks later, because that's how long it took me. I know…) It'll be like reading it again! So I've been reading other things (twilight and hunger games again. I might start percy Jackson.) And I am trying to forget divergent. This might be the last chapter until like march something. Sorry . but this is important to me! :3**


	10. Chapter 10

Once we all jump, and I feel calmer about Tris's new reaction to guns-which apparently is staying completely still, waiting for the bullet to dig through her skull-I stand by her side.

I have no doubt in my mind that Tris will be upset that I hadn't told her about Evelyn, or how the factionless really are. I think she has an idea of how I am against the idea of factions. I gave her a small glimpse of it when I told her I didn't want to be in line with one particular way in life. I remember I explained that to her when I showed her the tattoos on my back. The last time I had her to myself, before the banquet, before the simulation attack, and before she changed herself. I don't know why, but something in my chest is telling me that this isn't Tris, that Tris would not take a bullet. Tris is a fighter, rather she was one.

I touch her shoulder lightly. "It's been a while since I checked that shoulder. How is it?" I ask.

"Okay." She replies, happy to talk about something. "I brought the pain medicine, luckily." She breathes deeply, and when she lets it out, she says, "I don't think I'm letting it heal very well. I keep using my arm or landing on it."

"There will be plenty of time for healing once all of this is over." I say, when really it is me testing her, like I would during initiation. There will be time for healing once this is over, if she fights to live through the war.

"Yeah." She replies quietly, her body limp. Her voice lacks her usual sureness, her confidence. I didn't think I would hear her without it, but now that I do, it scares me, which is a big thing considering I only have Four fears.

I wonder if they are still there, but I am not in the Dauntless compound. I am walking to Evelyn. Toward the factionless, and there beady eyes, lingering on people in an inappropriate way. I press my lips. I can't give Tris a gun to defend herself, but I can't let her walk around with larger, stronger, experienced factionless bums. I remember the cool knife I put in my pocket before we left. "Here." I say handing the thing to her. "Just in case."

She takes it without looking at me.

She won't be able to do much with a knife. She can throw it, but that would do no good. I remember saying that knife throwing is useless. It is true, but knives themselves are handy. "You can throw a knife, but that won't even take down a cat." I remember Amar say. Then Max interrupted, saying, "You can, however, use a knife to stab someone. That has a better effect then throwing, and is deadlier, and has a more fatal effect." Amar pinched his nose at Max and made faces while he wasn't looking, making all the transfers laugh, while a confused Max looked at all of us like we were crazy.

Amar was something. Hilarious when things were too rough, making us feel more at ease, but in a matter of seconds, he could be so serious, it would be like he was training a bunch of soldiers for war. In a sense, he was.

My chest aches remembering Amar. My first friend.

Dead.

Once we reach the inside of a safe house, I recoil inside, though i stay placid outside. I watch Tris's reaction-it is a habit of mine to watch her-and see the shock plastered on her eyes. They are strange, really. It is an even mix on blue and grey. Like the sky. It is gray as a the sky when it is in a light snow storm, but can be blue as well, like a summer sky. They are bright, and always claim attention. Looking at her is so refreshing, it's like waking up from a bad dream. I remember looking at her when I broke free from the simulation that controlled my senses. I had woken up from a nightmare.

"Come on." Edward says. "She's back here. I don't look at the factionless around me. I am too lost in thought, though I feel the curious eyes of the people not suited for the virtue they chose.

"What's going o?" Tris says, her low voice breaking the silence. "Why are you all like this?"

I open my mouth to answer her, but Edward beats me to it. "You thought they -we- were all split up/ Well, they were, for a while." Before Evelyn decided she found a kingdom she had to fix. "Too hungry to do much of anything except look for food. But then the Stiffs started giving them food, clothes, tools, everything. And they got stronger and waited. They were like that when I found them, and they welcomed me." He says it like he should be proud of where he is now. However, i got the part where he calls the factionless "they" instead of "we." If he could, he would go back to a faction.

The more steps we take, is like taking a few more steps to hell. I wind a loose peirce of string on my shirt, which is red. I look from side to side, expecting someone or something to jump out, when really I'm head straight for it. I'm not afraid of Evelyn, but I would avoid her at all costs, but now I can't. Not now. Tris looks at me in wonder. It is how she looked at me when she found out I had only four fears. When I was no longer Four, but Tobias. Now she will find out that Four's dead mother is really alive.

Edward stops at the metal door, and pounds on it so hard, it's like he's trying to separate the door from it's hinges, though it could easily be my eardrums pounding, urging, begging, for me to turn away.

"Wait, you said they were waiting? What were they waiting _for, _exactly?" Caleb's annoying voice says.

"For the world to fall apart. And now it has," Edward says.

True, the world has fallen apart. We have a choice though. Rebuild it to how it was before, or start a new puzzle, a new era, where human beings can live life without barriers, or serums that make you feel emotions you don't want. No factions. The latter choice makes me wonder how such a world would look. For the worse or for the better?

A woman appears from the door way, one eye not working at all. Her good eye scans each of us, much like an Erudite would.

"Strays?" She asks.

"Not hardly, Therese."Edward says pointing a thumb at me. I want to twist it off. "This one's Tobias Eaton." He says again with that mocking tone. Though, I could just be imagining it.

The woman looks at me with thoroughly before nodding, carefully looking at my features. "He certainly is. Hold on."

I will. I'll hold on to my temper. I really just want to snap back and say that I want nothing to do with this :I never asked for this.

No one ever would.

"You know who he's going to get, don't you." Caleb asks me.

I gulp down the urge to snap back, or say something cold, but the most I can muster up is, "Caleb. Please shut up."

I said please since he's Tris's brother.

The girl -Therese- Comes back, steps back, and gestures for us to come in. The door is a boiler room, a jungle of metal pipes, to a section, the back probably, where old fashioned light bulbs sway from an old wire. And behind the table is the one who could have saved me from seven years of belt lashes, and seven years of being trapped in a closet full of jackets, unable to breathe. I can't help it any more, and I need support to help me from breaking down. I clasp Tris's cold hands. I always considered Tris to be the one to be strong, so strong that some of it might radiate on to me, and I still believe it, because it seems to work. After a few seconds of touching her, my hands are cold as well, but I feel stronger, not like the nine year old who felt a loss after his mothers so called death.

"Evelyn." I say as even as possible. The second the name is said Tris's hand goes limp in my own, but I stll cling to it, as it is the only thing keeping me from thinking of her departure. Instead I try to think of all the moment I've had with Tris, but memories of a coffin just keep coming back, flooding in, and I can't stop it.

"Hello." She says. She goes around the table, looking at me, a motherly smile playing on her eyes. I want to smack it off. "You look older."

**_Well, he's not going to look like a nine year old. _**conscience/Amar says. I was wondering where he went. I feel like he will always defend me, even now, when he is dead. Maybe one day I will not need his voice to guide me. Maybe one day, I will only hear is voice in my mind as a memory, rather then him reminding me never to quit, to always keep fighting, that there is always a reason to fight. I just need to find it.

"Yes, well. The passage of time tends to do that to a person." I say coldly.

She smiles, and it reaches her eyes."So you've finally come-" I know what she is about to say next. 'to join us in our battle for a new era.' I do believe in having a new era. Just not one where Evelyn is queen.

I cut her off menacingly. "Not for the reason you think. We were running from Erudite and the only chance of escape we had required me to tell your poorly armed lackeys my name." I snap, remembering how the factionless women on the train was about to attack us with a butter knife.

**_Then again, I hear those things can really stab you in the eye._**

Shut up Conscience.

"I see." Evelyn says, still smiling. Now that she has me in her trap, she won't let me go without a compromise. "Introduce me to your fellow refugees, then." Her eyes drift down to Tris hand being crushed with my own. I don't know why, but it I think it would be a bad idea for Evelyn to know Tris's relationship with me.

"This is Tris Prior. Her brother, Caleb. And their friend Susan Black." I make sure to give surnames, because it is the only thing she is interested in.

"Prior." Evelyn says. "I know of several living Prior, but none of them are names Tris. Beatrice however..."

"Well. I know of several living Eaton's, but none of them are named Evelyn."

"Evelyn Johnson is the name I prefer. Particularly among a pack of Abnegation"

"Tris is the name I prefer. And we're not Abnegation. Not all of us, anyway."

Tris does not seem to like Evelyn. Good. I don't want her too. **_This one's a keeper, Four. She has a temper problem too!_**

I am starting to wonder if having conversations with a dead instructor makes me crazy.

**_Yes. It does._**

Evelyn look at me, and eybrow raised. "Interesting friends you've made." _I know, _I think to my self as I look at Tris's shoulder wound.

"Those are population counts?" Caleb asks. "And...what? Factionless safe houses? I mean these places, on the map? They're safe houses, like this one, right?"

"That's alot of questions. For security puposes, I will not answer any of them. Anyway, it is time for dinner." The way she says it tells everyone that we are not going anywhere any time soon.

**Four. Remember who you are. Stand tall, stand proud. You're not who you were then. You are who you are now. **Amar's voice says. I'm glad, that I do have a conscience that talks to me, because it gives me strength and confidence, and I can't seem to find that on my own.

I stay behind, heave a large intake of breath, and let it out. Tris walks in front of me.

"I'm not stupid. I know you want nothing to do with me -though I still don't quite understand why-"

I interrupt her, scoffing.

"But." She says glaring at me. "I will extend my invitation again. We could use your help here, and I know your like-minded about the faction system-"

I'm not like minded. I'm half in half about the idea, but I can't tell her that. That would mean that I half agree with er, and she would take that to mean I accept her as a mother.

I don't.

"Evelyn." I say instead of calling her 'mom.' "I chose Dauntless."

"Choices can be made again."

"What makes you think I'm interested in spending time anywhere near you?" I exclaim, stopping. I can't stand this, I just can't.

"Because I'm your mother. Because you're my son." Her voice trembles.

She stopped being my mother when she died. From then on, she was dead, and she is dead to me right now.

And I heaven't breathed in a whole entire minute, afraid that if I breathe, memories of a belt lashing my back the very day she disappeared. I had double the amount of pain.

"You really don't get it. You don't have the vaguest conception of what you've done to me. I don't want to join up with your little band of factionless. I want to get out of here as quickly as possible."

"My little band of factionless is twice the size of Dauntless." She snaps. "You would do well to take it seriously . Its actions may determine the future of this city." She says walking away.

And with that she has put a lot of pressure in me.

Yes the factionless are twice the size of dauntless, but they are all misfits, all of them were not capable for a faction. What could possibly make them capable for war?

I look ahead, and see Tris. I scowl. I have to deal with this now.

"How long have you known?" She asks accusingly.

"About a year." I say breathing again. My eyes close, and I lean on a wall. "She sent a coded message to me in Dauntless, telling me to meet her at the train yard. I did, because I was curious. " And stupid. "And there she was. Alive. It wasn't a happy reunion, as you can probably guess."

"Why did she leave Abnegation?"

"She had an affair." I say shaking my head. I don't blame her for that. "And no wonder, since my father..." I shake again. I have trusted Tris before, and she hasn't broken that trust. I have to tell her the truth. I have to give her another piece of me. "Well, let's just say Marcus wasn't any nicer to her than he was with me."

Countless nights of sleeping through Evelyn's cries. Sobs jolting me awake, but not of my own. Another lash of a whip meeting flesh, but not on my own body.

"Is..."Tris says her voice trailing off. She is trying to understand. She didn't grow up the way I did, and I am happy for that. "That why your angry with her?" She asks. "Because she was unfaithful to him?"

"No." I say fervently, my eyes popping open. She jerks a little. That was a little too harsh. "No, that's not why I'm angry."

She comes toward me slowly, carefully, like I might explode at any moment. I don't blame her. I feel like there is a timer in me, that there has been one in me since I was born, and if I get upset enough it will blow.

**If that were the case, we'd all me blown to bits. I can't count how many times you've gotten mad in the past year alone.**

"Then why?" Tris asks, softly, as if her voice alone would soothe me. It does.

"She had to leave my father, I get that." I say. "But did she ever think of taking me with her?" I would have rather grown up factionless then with Marcus.

I suppose that can't be fully true. Factionless kids don't get to choose. If I hadn't chosen Dauntless, then Tris and I would never cross paths.

Tris pinches her lips. "Oh. She let you with him."

"Yeah. She did." I say kicking the floor. What else is there to say?

Her fingers struggle to find mine, and I lace our hands together. We stay silent for a long time. It reminds me of when she took my hand in the hallway back in Dauntless, when Uriah was shooting a muffin off of Marlene. Tris held my hand then, when I told her to hold on. She left a few seconds later. It's comforting to know she won't leave me now.

"It seems to me that the factionless are better friends than enemies." I say considering the option of Evelyn's choice.

"Maybe" Tris replies shrugging. "But what would the cost of that friendship be?

"I don't know." I say shaking my head. "But we may not have any other option."

And that is the most fearful part of all.

**Yeah...im procrastinating my break on divergent. I'll start on New years :3**

**THANKS TO ALL WHO REVIEWS! I WANNA THANK...**

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**Words can not describe how unbelievably awesome you all are!**


	11. Chapter 11

The factionless are disgusting. Not just the place they live in, but the way they eat. But i don't say that here. Edward plops down on the one side of Tris, and I sit on her other side. "So you were all Abnegation, huh?" Edward asks.

"We were. But obviously Tobias and I transferred, and...Caleb and Susan are still Abnegation." Tris says. She is somewhat like the Amity-willing to lie to protect one another.

"And he's your brother, Caleb. You ditched your family to become Dauntless?" That is exctly what Tris needs-to be reminded of her parents.

"You sound like the Candor. Mind keeping your judgement to yourself?"

The girl, Therese, starts to talk. "He was Erudite first, actually. Not Candor."

"Yeah I know." Tris starts. "I-"

"So was I." Therese cuts in. "Had to leave, though."

"What happened?" Tris asks. I grin a little. Tris is always so curious.

"I wasn't smart enough. I didn't get a high enough score on my initiation intelligence test." She says shrugging, and taking a can from Edward. "So they said 'Spend your entire life cleaning up the research labs, or leave.' And I left."

Like Edward, she is here because she was too prideful too continue to live in a place where they would be judged as different. Edward could have continued with one eye, but he chose not too. Tris hands me the beans. I stare at the fire, pretending not to care.

"Are many of you from Erudite?" Tris asks.

"Most are Dauntless, actually." That is a bad part. Factionless are bad enough, but factionless who were once Dauntless are worse, due to the fact that they had the experience and prestige of knowing how to fight.

"Then Erudite, then Candor, then a handful of Amity. No one fails Abnegation initiation, though, so we have very few of those, except for a bunch who survived the simulation attack and came to us for refuge."

It is a relief that at least a few selfless are still in our world. Bu it is also a queasy thought that these selfless people are being rewarded for their acts by living in bad conditions.

Tris's voice breaks through my thoughts. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised about Dauntless."

"Well, yeah. You've got one of the worst initiations, and there's that whole old-age thing."

"Old-age thing?" Tris says intrigued. She stares at me, and I see it from the corners of my eyes. She expects me to answer. Her blond hair looks bright near the fire, and her light eyes seem to be on fire, but it is only reflecting the flames.

"Once the Dauntless reach a certain level of physical deterioration, they are asked to leave one way or another." I explain to Tris.

"Whats the other way?" She asks.

Some people believe factionless is worse then death-they believe it so strongly, they are naive enough to kill themselves before that can happen. Like Al.

"Let's just say, that for some , death is preferable to factionless." That is what happens. They jump in front of trains, or tumble of the Chasm.

"Those peopel are idiots. I'd rather be factionless then than Dauntless."

"How fortunate that you ended up where you did, then." I snap. I always feel the need to defend my faction, even though I feel somewhat different then them. They are senseless-they don't use their brains. I am always thinking, I am always learning.

"Fortunate? Yeah. I'm so fortunate with my one eye and all." Edward says sarcastically.

I remember seeing in the control room cameras, that Edward beat up Peter in a matter of minutes.

"I seem to recall hearing rumors that you provoked that attack." I glare, reminding Edward.

"What are you talking about?" Tris says innocently. "He was winning, that's all, and Peter was Jealous, so he just..."

Edward smiles, and Tris understands that she doesn't know the full story.

"There was an inciting incident, in which Peter did not come out the Victor." Edward says with evil pleasure. "But it certainly didn't warrant a butter knife to the eye."

He makes a point: If I were to stab every person I had gotten mad at in the eye, a little more than half the compound would be blind in one pupil.

"No arguments here. If it makes you feel any better. he got shot in the arm from a foot away during the simulation attack." I say recalling Peter's condition.

Edward grins again, maliciously. "Who did that? You?"

I shake my head. "Tris did." I say. Tris-the first jumper, the first ranked in her class. Tris the Divergent. The girl who shot Eric in the foot for trying to kill me. Who managed to pull me away from an impossible simulation. Tris is the antidote for all my pain.

Every time I remember this, It feels like falling for her from the start, when I would always watch her from a distance. She is close to me now, and I love how she is mine, and I like how I am hers. I smile.

"Well done." Edward acknowledges Tris. She just nods. She is strong, but she doesn't like to know she caused people pain. Not a lot of people are like Tris-any people actually.

I suddenly wonder how Zeke, Shauna, Lauren, and the others are. My friends. They can't be dead, can they? The thought makes me want to freeze, and never move again. My chest aches. Though they didn't know me well, they were the closest they ever got to making the friend mark, and we were all there, to somewhat hold each other up as Amar's body was put into a large black bag.

"Do you know much about how things are right now? Did all the Dauntless side with Erudite? Has Candor done anything?" I ask this, because Tris and I can not stay in a safe house for long-we have to keep moving.

"Dauntless is split half in half. Half at Erudite headquarters, half at Candor headquarters. What's left of Abnegation is with us. Nothing much has happened yet."

If a faction war counts as 'nothing yet." to the factionless, then I'd hate to see what "something happening." is.

"Except for whatever happened to you, I guess."

What happened to me. I was escorted into the dauntless control room, ran a simulation that killed innocents, and made my faction members killers, and I almost killed my girlfriend. I don't think I will ever live this down. But I nod to Edward anyway.

When dinner is finished,Tris finds a corner to sleep in, while I find something to sleep on, and end up with two sleeping pallets and a few blankets. Tris finds a relevantly empty corner. I try fixing up a descent way to sleep on the pallets, and when I finish with that, I untie my laces, wanting to just sleep for the night. When I am done, I feel awkward arms wrap around me, delicately. Her body so close to mine, makes me want to groan. I close my eyes on contact as her fingers roam up and down my spine. It is then that I notice her hands stroke the tattoos of the five factions on my back, her other hands on my ribcage, covering the tattoo of the flames.

I want to kiss her, passionately. But there is still Abnegation in me, enough to dislike the idea of showing affection with so many people around us.

"I wish we were alone." I manage to mumble out. A light sigh escapes me as well.

"I almost always wish that." She replies softly. I pull her down with me as I drop onto the pallet. My arms wrap around her, fiercely. Her cheek is pressed against my heart, and it only reminds me of how I held her after surfacing from that awful simulation. It disgusts me that my will wasn't strong enough to break free from the simulations grasp sooner.

Tris falls asleep, her breaths heavy and even, but no matter how hard I try, sleep just can't claim me yet.

"Tobias." Someone whispers harshly, as my eyelids start to get heavy. I curse under my breath, as I sit up and see Evelyn.

I shouldn't avoid this. She gives me a knowing look. We need to talk.

I get up, the blanket falling off me, and slip away from the pallet.

I expect her to take me to her office, in the boiler room, but she takes me only a few feet away from the pallets. A few people are still awake, so they can see us, but they won't be able to hear us. They have a clear view of us talking, and our shadow casts from different places. She probably wanted a room full of factionless witnesses because she think I might kill her if we were in private.

I don't blamer her.

Evelyn sits on the floor, and I do too, but about two feet away from her.

"What was so important that you had to wake me up?" I snap.

"I wanted to give you the position again. Or rather, remind you of it." Evelyn says. "But first things first." She says, raising a finger out. "Really?"

"Really, what?" I say shocked. This isn't something you would expect a mother to say.

"You and Beatrice. Really." She says. "I think there are other girls more…suited for you, don't you think?"

"Is that coming from the woman who chose an abusive psycho for a husband?" I say glaring. "This has nothing to concern with the subject. Get on with what you wanted to say. I didn't get up to get relationship advise from the one who married a cruel faction leader, and then faked her own death to get away from him." I say quietly. If Tris were to wake up, she could hear us-she is only a few feet back.

She frowns, but seems unharmed from my otherwise, harsh, words. "Fine. I was just wondering. " She says, and my eyes narrow. Tris is more then enough for me, and it irks me that others think she is less. I wonder, suddenly, if Tris herself thinks she isn't enough for me.

"Anyway. I need you, Tobias, to help us." She gestures to the factionless around us.

"You'll have to tell me what's going on here if you expect me to consider helping you." It seems only fair. "Though I'm still not sure why you need me at all." I say wondering how I could possibly help her with this conspiracy group.

She twist her hair before talking again. "What would you like to know, exactly?" I should have known she wouldn't tell me anything to useful, as to anything related to the simulation attack.

"Tell me about the chart. And the map."

"Your friend was correct in thinking that the map and the chart listed all our safe houses." I pinch my nose at the thought of Caleb being my friend. "He was wrong about the population counts…sort of. The numbers don't document all the factionless-only certain ones. And I'll bet you can guess which those are."

I scowl. I feel like I am being played, like a toy. "I'm not in the mood for guessing." I say coolly.

She heaves a sigh, like it was the easiest question in the world, and I got it wrong. "The Divergent." I freeze. "We're documenting the Divergent."

It takes me a few seconds to move again- I didn't know she knew about the divergent. "How do you know who they are?"

"Before the simulation attack, part of the Abnegation aid effort involved testing the factionless for a certain genetic anomaly. Sometimes that that testing involved re-administrating the aptitude test. Sometimes it was more complicated then that But they explained to us that they suspected we might have the highest Divergent population of any group in the city." She responds.

Why would the divergent matter to the factionless? "I don't understand. Why-"

"Why would the factionless have a high divergent population?" She says a grin on her face, cutting me off. I wince a little inside. "Obviously those who can't confine themselves to a particular way of thinking would most likely leave a faction or fail it's initiation, right?"

I glare again. "That's not what I was going to ask. I want to know why you care about how many Divergent there are."

"The Erudite are looking for manpower. They found it temporarily in Dauntless. Now they'll be looking for more, and we're the obvious place, unless they figure out we've got more Divergent than any other group. Just in case they don't, I want to know how many people we've got who are resistant to simulation."

"Fair enough." I shrug. "but why were the Abnegation so concerned with finding the Divergent? It wasn't to help Jeanine was it?" I say. I feel pale, and sick at the idea.

"Of course not." She says rolling her eyes. " But I'm afraid I don't know. The Abnegation were reluctant to provide information that only serves to relieve curiosity They told us as much as they believed we should know.

She calls the abnegation "them," like she was never part of the society. She has erased that part of her, but she erased me in the process as well. And now, she is trying to rummage around, because she needs me to help her. She wouldn't care a thing about me unless I was of some use to her.

She must have been Erudite. "Strange." I say through gritted teeth.

"Perhaps you should ask your father about it." What? Why? I won't ask him anything, ever. "He's the one who told me about you."

"About me," I say, curiosity sparked inside me, not fear. "What about me?"

"That he suspected you were Divergent." He knows? She knows? They know about my divergence?

"He was always watching you." Yeah, I know that. "Noting your behavior" I wonder if he was Erudite too.

"He was very attentive to you. That's why…that's why I thought you would be safe with him. Safer with him than with me."

I almost laugh at the thought of Marcus being a good father. It isn't possible. It never will be. I wonder, suddenly, if something hit his head too hard when he was younger. It would explain a lot.

"I see now that I must have been wrong."

You don't say.

"I wish-" And I have to cut her off, because she is trying to win my trust back, and it is not happening.

"Don't you dare try to apologize." I say my voice quivering, my throat choked. "This is not something you can bandage with a word or two and some hugging, or something." I snap.

I've seen normal families do that sort of thing.

"Okay. Okay, I won't."

I need to get out of the emotional part of this conversation, and go back to the facts. "For what purpose are the factionless uniting What do you intend to do?"

"We want to usurp Erudite. Once we get rid of them, there's not much from stopping us from controlling the government ourselves."

"That's what you expect me to help you with." I say surprised. It's so outrageous, it's stupid. I wonder if she realizes that. "Overthrowing one corrupt government and instating some kind of factionless tyranny. Not a chance." I say, taking a harsh, small, one breathed laugh.

"We don't want to be tyrants. We want to establish a new society. One without factions."

I remember how a few moments ago, I myself wondered how a world like that worked.

But the factionless being able to make such a change? The factions won't take them seriously.

"Right. So how are you going to usurp Erudite?"

"Sometimes drastic change requires drastic measures." She says shrugging her shoulders. She has everything planned out, carefully, and smoothly. The thought is not comforting. "I imagine it will involve a high level of destruction. As for why we need you, in order to do this, we will need Dauntless help. They have the and the combat experience. You can bridge the gap between us and them.

I've been called scary, strange, mysterious, Stiff, Four, and idiot, but I have never been referred to as a gap. I don't think it would be possible for me to pull something off.

"Do you think I'm important to the Dauntless?" I say. I didn't really help Dauntless move forward into the future as a faction. "Because I'm not. I'm just someone who isn't afraid of much." I say flatly.

"What I'm suggesting is that you become important. I am sure you can find a way, if you wanted to. Think about it." She stands, and ties her hair in a knot, like she would when I was a child. I am sitting, so she is as tall as she was before she "died." "The door is always open."

I have a feeling she just doesn't mean being the gap. I think she is referring to being her son.

The door is open, and I want it sealed shut.

I sit and think for a while. Amity would be terrible allies. What help could they do.

Candor would probably end up siding with the faction that has the advantage, which in this case, is Erudite.

There aren't enough abnegation to help us fight, and even if there were enough, they would never fight to protect themselves.

So that leaves the factionless. What other choice could we possibly have? I look at Tris, still sleeping, over my shoulder. I'm sure she'd have some ideas. But she doesn't seem to be on even ground with me-like something is wrong. Something more than just her parents death, but I don't know what, and if I propose this to her, it would just add to whatever stress she has.

I frown. I want her to trust me with her problems. Isn't that one of the things that come with being in a relationship? Your problems become the other halves issue as well?

Maybe I can get it out of her tomorrow. We are, after all, going into a faction that values the truth out of everything else. I stand, and lay down next to her again, my arms at my sides. I look at the ceiling, and think about the different outcomes of this war. There are so many, my eyes begin to get heavy again, and in a matter of seconds, I am taken away from the war-torn city, into the arms of sleep.

It's a pity I'll have to wake up soon, and face reality.

_**I know!i am sorry i did not update in a long time! here's my reasons!**_

_**1. Got busy reading other people's fanfics.**_

_**2. Schoolwork.**_

_**3. Got distracted whenever I tried writing this up.**_

_**4. Is awesome.**_

_**5. I got lazy.**_

_**6. Is four's other half.**_

_**7. I had to deal with someone who is trying to destroy me at school. BTW, she is failing miserably...**_

_**8. The book keep flipping to another page, and I have to put something on it to keep it from falling off, and it started to get annoying...**_

_**9. You tend to get dizzy looking at the book, typing the dialogue, and then looking at the book again.**_

_**10. The reason I have to look at the book is to remember the dialogue, of which I don't own. You know who does? Veronica Roth, who wrote the original book! she also owns all the characters, dialogue, and plot! just a reminder :)**_


	12. Chapter 12

After waking up, I go to them men's bathroom. It isn't empty, but once I enter, they all leave, giving me privacy.

I guess the fact that I'm there leader's son gives me a few perks.

I don't strip my clothing off though. Anyone could come in, at anytime. I splash large amount of water on my head, the water trickling down my back when I stand upright again. I am dripping with water, and the red Amity shirt I wear is getting on my nerves.

Someone knocks.

"It's a public bathroom." I yell. Evelyn opens the door.

"Thought you might need some new clothes." She says, handing me black dauntless clothing, and dark jeans.

"Thanks." I say not quite meeting her eyes.

"Remember." She says. "We need you." And walks out.

I change quickly, inside a stall, so no one can come and see me. My hair is still wet, and it tickles my spine as it drops, but since it is black, it won't be noticeable.

I remember wanting to be factionless. I remember how I almost joined them, because Dauntless just didn't seem right for me. I felt that I had made the worst decision. I came in first during initiation, but it didn't seem genuine, knowing the reason why I came.

Strange: Choosing the faction of bravery made me a coward.

I walk out of the bathroom, and my eyes find Tris, like they are trained to do. I thought I could make more use of my decision, and I did.

I stayed for you. I kiss her cheekbone before we walk to Merciless Mart.

* * *

I decide, personally, that Evelyn is right. If we need to be safe, we need to move the loyal dauntless to the factionless. Candor won't be able to handle them for too long, and this war needs to be over. I need to go to candor headquarters, now, because the earlier I do this, the sooner the war ends.

She's right: I need to be important. I need to be a dauntless leader. I think having four fears will help me. Everyone seemed to respect me for that, and maybe I use that to help me.

I decide not to tell Tris this plan of mine, not yet anyways. If she'd try to stop me, she would be against me, and I don't want that.

We stop at the doors of the Merchandise Mart-renamed Merciless Mart-and I look at Tris, only to find her staring at me as well. "Here we go." I say.

We walk in, and I see a few familar faces, all known from the pit. A small girl, younger then both Tris and I, approaches me, her gun focused on me. "Identify yourselves." She says.

I've been in Dauntless for two years. In those two years, many people have talked to me-well, tried to- but I am pretty well known especially down in the pit. Coming in first, as transfer, is a big deal, and it's even worse when you turn into a dauntless prodigy on your first day. Tris is well known too, enough for a few people to know her, after all she, she's the Stiff that came in first.

"Four." I answer casually. I'm supposed to win these people's respect. "And this is Tris. Both Dauntless."

They seem shocked, and her gun is still trained on me. "Some help here?" And a few more dauntless appear, surrounding us.

"Is there a problem?" I ask confused.

"Are you armed?" She asks, changing my question.

"Of course I'm armed. I'm dauntless, aren't I?"

"Stand with your hands behind your head." She said loudly, like she is yelling at a child.

What is happening? Do they expect us to attack? Do they think we're the other dauntless, the traitors?

"We walked through the front door. You think we would have done that if we were here to hurt you?" Tris says softly, quietly. Like the Abnegation are taught to talk.

I don't look at her. Normally, I would have snapped at someone, or rolled my eyes, but I can not risk showing disrespect to them. I need to win them over, I need to be vital to them. If I say anything stupid, they will throw us out, or kill us, without a second glance.

I stiffly, and unwillingly put the tips of my fingers above my neck, cradling my scalp.

Tris's mouth pinches, stubborn, but she too puts her hands on her head, surrendering. Good.

Some dauntless pat me down, looking for any weapons. I feel uncomfortable with this, but I pretend it doeasn't bother me. One takes my gun away, and I feel insecure. My gun is the weapon that protects both Tris and I.

Another one goes up to Tris, about to pat her down. She flinches away from him, and glares. The boy looks scared of her.

I have to say, as small as Tris is, she can be very intimidating. I like that.

:I have a knife in my back pocket. Put your hands on me, and I will make you regret it." She admits.

I close my eyes and suppress my laughter.

He mumbles a small "Sorry." and take the knife handle, sticking on of her pocket, and makes sure not to lay a single cell on her.

"What's going on?" I try asking.

A soldier-I know her as one of the girls who was on the capture the flag team while I was an initiate.

"Im sorry. But we were instructed to arrest you upon on your arrival." She says.

I sigh. I knew this wasn't going to be as easy as I thought.

* * *

The circle around us, and escort us into the third floor. Tris tries to talk to them.

"Hey." She tries again. "Why are we under arrest, again?" She says.

No reply.

"Hey."

Still no reply. I know we won't get one yet. Dauntless are too hard-headed. Although, not as stubborn as Tris, but she is smart too. She gives up, sighing, and just keep walking.

We go into the Candor holding room, and they lock it behind us. Tris and I, in the room, together. No escape.

The scowl I've been withheld since our entrance finally comes out. I feel upset. I've been in Dauntless since I was sixteen, yet it doesn't surprise me that my own faction thinks I might be trouble. After, the other half of the faction betrayed them, including the leaders they trusted.

I sit on the bench, and I expect Tris to do so as well, but she hurriedly paces back and forth. I didn't notice how tense she was. I look at her in amazement, as she paces back and forth.

My thoughts drift to what happened. It is possible that Candor sided with Erudite, to avoid the faction from danger. Like I thought before, Candor probably would side with the faction with the better advantage, which is Erudite, for now. They could execute us, and that can't happen. But if that was the case, they would have killed us when we walked in.

I can't believe after two years of bouncing back leadership offers, I am now just considering it. War does have a way of changing a persons way in life.

I am brought back to life once I realize that Tris is still pacing. She is biting her lip, and my breathing hitches when I see her mouth.

But then the pacing starts to get irriating. "Can you please calm down? You're making me nervous."

"This is me calming down."

I press my elbows in my knees, looking at the floor between my shoes, not looking at her eyes. I haven't told her about my thoughts lately, and it seems wrong. But then, I think she is keeping something from me as well.

"The wound on your lip begs to differ." Is all I say.

She finally, stops, and sits, crouching next to me, her right arms laying on her side, useless. As the seconds pass on, she squeezes herself smaller, and smaller. Like she is trying to block everything out.

I don't blame her. Sadness can do that to a person, and grief. She might be greiving for her parents, but it seems to be a little more than that. I just need to be reassured about that. I don't think Tris would be like this, how she was during the attack in Amity, just because of her parent's death. Of course, I wouldn't know how grieving for a mother and father would feel crouches even closer to herself. "Sometimes, I worry that you don't trust me." Which is really, all the time.

"I trust you. Of course I trust you. Why would you think otherwise?" She says accusingly.

I hurry to defend myself. "Just seems like there's something you're not telling me. I told you thing..." About my father, my past my name, the _true_ me. I shake my head, back and forth to clear the thought. "I would never have told anyone else." There are a handful of people who know my name-Zeke and Shauna, since they new me during initiation-but they don't know about my past, before Dauntless.

"Something's been going on with you, though, and you haven't told me yet." I say, my voice demanding her to tell me what it is, put in a passive way.

"There's been a lot going on." She point out. "You know that. And anyway, what about you? I could say the same for you."

I brush of her next accusation, and try getting to the points, prying information out of her. She did, however, change the subject that needed discussion.

One hand touches her cheek, my long fingers slipping into her wavy blond hair, which is short now, so you can't tell how it falls, and twist into into bright waves. "If it's just about your parents, tell me." I say pleading. "And I'll believe you."

I feel calm, steady. Her bright blue eyes stare into my own, and I can just feel her digging into the smallest point inside me, the part that shows care, and affection. That small point soon blossoms, the longer she look at me. Her eyes look sorrow. I shouldn't have brought this up, but it is too late now.

"That's all it is." She croaks.

"Okay." I say simply. I kiss her, my hand still on her cheek, and she kisses me back, but not as deeply as I want her too.

Two Candor-one armed- and one dauntless soldier come in. One of the Candor is Jack Kang, a Candor representative. He goes straight to the point, which is a pleasant thing to me.

"They told me you seemed confused why you were arrested. To me that means either you are falsely accused or good at pretending. The only-" Tris cuts his sentence off.

"What are we accused of?"

"He is accused of crimes against humanity."

What?

"You are accused of being his accomplice."

Crimes against humanity. Eric should be arrested for that, not me. The fact that some people think I am inhumane, makes me want to punch something.

_Ironic_. The conscience says.

"Cries against humanity? What?" I say sickened by the thought.

"We saw video footage of the attack. You were running the attack simulation." He replies flatly. I wonder how he would sound if he had a swollen lip, and a choked up throat. I should find out someday.

"How could you have seen footage? We took the data." I say, but it only made us seem more suspicious.

"You took one copy of the data. All the footage of the Dauntless compound recorded during the attack was also sent to other computers throughout the city. All we saw was you running the simulation and her almost getting punched to death, before she game up."

I don't remember punching her. I remember a few bruises on her, but I had assumed she got them while she came to destroy the simulation. I feel a pain in my chest, now knowing it was my fault that her skin had scars on them.

"Then you stopped, had a rather abrupt lovers' reconciliation, and stole the hard drive together. One possible reason is because the simulation was over and you didn't want us to get our hands on it.

That's hysterical. I come out of running a simulation, and Jack Kang thinks the first thing I would do is think about his faction.

Idiot.

"The simulation didn't end. We stopped it, you-" but his hand interrupts her.

"I am not interested in what you have to say right now. The truth will come out when you are both interrogated under the influence of truth serum."

Truth serum. With other people in the room. I do not cope well with questions dealing with my motives and my emotions. They always lead to the past, which I think should be buried deep within a person.

What human being with sense on this planet, would want to come clean about the worst of the secrets.

"Truth serum? No. No way." Tris says, her head shaking. We can both agree on this, at least-The candor suck.

"There's something you have to hide? Jack asks.

Tris thinks a while, and it tells me she does have something to hide. Something she didn't tell me yet. But she shakes her head.

"All right then. It is now noon. The interrogation will be at seven. Don't bother preparing for it. You can't hold withhold information while under the influence of truth serum."

He walks out of the room.

"What a pleasant man." I say.

When can I punch him?

* * *

_**I thought I'd make it up to you guys since I didn't update this in a while :)**_

_**HOLY CROW! I'M ABOUT ONE FOURTH THE WAY THROUGH THE BOOK! :D HOW AM I DOING SO FAR?**_


	13. Chapter 13

Tris is escorted to the bathroom. I don't feel the urge to go-probably since I didn't eat or drink anything last night-so I stay in the holding room. I Candor man leaves a tray of sandwiches, for Tris and I.

Well, at least the Candor won't starve us to death-and If they're feeding people in the holding room accused of 'Crimes against Humanity', Then I guess that means they are feeding the loyal Dauntless, my friends.

Tris comes back, walking slowly, on purpose I assume. When she enters, I decide to say something casual, since she is still tense and hard as a stone.

"Hungry?"

A nod, as she sits next to me, her peculiar long fingers take the sandwich. A few seconds later I feel the side of her head on my shoulder. It gives me a good chance to see her ear, the one I hit with a knife a few weeks ago. It's healed a little by bow, which I already knew. After all, it is the quick healing cartilage.

Once the food is gone, and our legs cramp up from sitting in the same position for so long, we decide to lay on the floor, watching the ceiling as it is the only source of entertainment in here.

I think about what I will say in the interrogation. Marcus, of course, and the reason I left. If the Dauntless hear why I truly left, then it will be a sure thing that I will fail to be a Dauntless leader.

I wouldn't blame them.

"What are you afraid of saying?" I ask.

"Any of it. All of it. I don't want to relive anything."

I agree, nodding. I don't want a reminder of my fear, of my past. I look back at Tris. Her eyes are closed, yet she could never have looked more nervous. I lay there, awake, thinking about the different outcomes of the truth serum.

It is a serum, and I am Divergent, which gives me the possibility of fighting it, but my Divergence is weak, so weak, that it managed to fool the aptitude test into thinking my results were Abnegation. I might not be mentally strong enough to fight it. But I can still try.

Or I can just let it overcome me. I can let the serum peck at my secrets, until it manages to pry it out of me, but I can't. I can't just give away my deepest part of me, not without a fight.

I have been into many simulations before, and in all of those, I have noticed a pattern. For me, my brain gets weaker as more time passes by. Which means, the serum will have a more effective hold on me near the middle of it, which means I have a higher chance of fighting it when it starts. I have observed that I can fight simulations of easily in the first few minutes of it.

I can try, but I am still debating whether I should. I look at Tris. She isn't tense now, which could only mean she is sleeping.

I think simulations are the opposite for her. It starts of strong, but weakens as the time goes by. It doesn't matter, really. She is fast when it comes to overcoming a fear, so overcoming the truth should be quick for her as well.

The door opens, and Tris flies up in a sitting position. I do to, but slowly. I get to my feet just as a girl with dark brown skin, and short hair hugs Tris, too tightly. Tris shrieks out, in joy or pain, I can't tell.

After all, the girl holding her is her friend Christina.

"Got shot. Shoulder. Ow." Tris yelps. I look up at the ceiling after hearing her strange speech.

"Oh God! Sorry, Tris." Christina says. "You okay? I heard you were here so I asked to escort you. I know you didn't do it. Your not a traitor."

I know it's strange of me, but I can't help but listen to their chatter. When Tris talks to Christina, it seems like she'd tell her more things than me.

"I'm fine. And thank you. How are you?"

"Oh, I'm..." She starts, but her voice shakes. "Did anyone tell you...I mean, maybe now isn't the time, but..."

Shocking. Yeller-_Christina_-is having trouble talking.

"What? What is it?"

"Um...Will died in the attack."

I freeze. I did not expect that. This is not what Tris needs now, she does not need another death to grieve or mourn about. I suddenly wish that Christina kept her mouth shut, and I glare at her.

But she is not looking at me. She is looking at Tris. And I do to. My eyes narrow at her. She does not looked shocked, which could only mean she knew.

"I know. I saw him on the monitors when I was in the control room. I'm sorry Christina."

I give her a hard look, even when I know she can't see me. She couldn't have seen Will, an Erudite transfer, on the monitors, because she was watching her brother, Peter, and Marcus defend themselves when the simulation controlled Dauntless surrounded them. Tris looks in front of her, refusing to look at me. I wish she would, because then maybe I can see what is really going on here.

"Don't worry about the truth serum..." Christina explains the concept to Tris, but my mind wanders. What could have happened to Will that would make Tris lie to her friend? And to me, for the matter.

"Is everyone else all right?" Tris asks, bringing me from my thoughts. "Uriah, Lynn, Marlene?"

Zeke, Shana, Lauren?

"All here. Except Uriah's brother, Zeke, who is with the other Dauntless."

I take in a sharp intake of air. My best friend is a traitor? How can that be? Zeke is not a coward, he is not. He would never leave Uriah here to join the leaders. He can't possibly believe faction before blood, could he?

He obviously does, or else he would be here, at Candor.

_Bastard. _Amar says.

"What?"

"I know. No one saw it coming."

We walk through many multiple black and white hallways, until we stop at a pair of doors. I get the feeling in the back of my spine that tells me that I am in danger, or something bad is about to happen. I groan internally. The doors open, and the room is full of Dauntless and Candor members.

Half my faction-the loyal ones- will here about my pathetic cowardice. I look at Tris, since she is the only one in the room who I am familiar with, and notice her eyeing the chairs. I take her hand, and she entwines her fingers with mine.

"My name is Niles," he says. "I will be your questioner. You—" He points at me. "You will be going first. So if you will please step forward …"

I am nervous to the core, but I try not to show it. I squeeze Tris's hand firmly before letting go, and walk to Niles. The box he opens reveals two syringes, both blue and cloudy, and an alcohal antiseptic wipe. Iv'e had to use those to help with the scars my father. The scars that everyone in this room will soon know about.

"The injection site is in your neck,"

_I know that, Sherlock. _I want to say, but I hold back my rude comment, and wipe the alcohal to my neck. It's strong scent goes up my nose, and exhale to void inhaling the smell. Niles sticks the syringe in my neck. I don't feel it. All I feel is a flood of memories, and my brain going numb.

The end is near for Four. Although I will still have those four fears after this, everyone will see the coward in me, despite my limited number of fears.

As long as he is one of those fears, I will always be the cowardly son who chose the faction of bravery to escape him.

_****_"I will ask you a series of simple questions so that you can grow accustomed to the serum as it takes full effect,Now. What is your name?"

I see some of the Dauntless lean there head forward. Of course, this is a casual, normal question, but it is hard for me to bring up and say. Four is what Amar called me so that no one would have to know my name. The serum has full effect, but as always, for me it will grow stronger as time passes. So I can try to fight it. But this is my first time on truth serum, which means it will do it's worst until I grow accustomed to it. I'm too used to fear landscape serum. So used to it, that this serum feels to strange inside me.

I feel uncomfortable, and can't stay still, as I try to fight it. But my throat aches the longer I stay silent. "Four." I mutter out, my teeth clenched.

That isn't a lie, is it?

"That is a nickname. What is your real name?"

"Tobias." I say instantly, and take in a deep intake of breath. Truth serum is strong. The Erudite must have made it like that, so a person doesn't have a choice but to automatically say it.

Another sick deed, done by those who take intelligence for granted.

"What are the names of your parents, Tobias?"

I am about to answer, but something in my head tells me that I wouldn't normally tell anyone this. I clech my jaw again, so tightly, I notice I have a slight overbite.

It comes to me, that all the Candor and Dauntless need to know is if I am a traitor, and what I did during the attack. The names of my parents, and my memories shouldn't matter, so why is he asking me this? My heart aches, as my throat contracts, trying to force the answer out. I hold my breathe, and think about what I want to say, and what my brain is telling me to say.

"Why is this relevant?" Tobias asks.

Niles gapes at me shocked, and people mutter around me.

"Maybe it wasn't relevant before, Tobias," He says using my real name. "but it is now that you've resisted answering the question. The names of your parents, please."

The more I resist, the more eager would be to know. My throat contracts again, but this time, I let it. I close my eyes, to embrace the identity of Four before part of that persona dies.

"Evelyn and Marcus Eaton."

More people mutter, and whisper to each other. I feel the urge to tell them to shut up, but I can't. I am too tired. All I can do now is talk.

"So you are a faction transfer, are you not?"

"Yes." I answer. Now that everyone knows my true name, and my father, they know which faction I transferred to and from. And because of that Erudite article, they probably have an idea of why I did it.

"You transferred from Abnegation to Dauntless?"

"Yes. Isn't that obvious?" I say so sharply, Niles flinches a little.

"One of the purposes of this interrogation is to determine your loyalties, so I must ask: Why did you transfer?"

I stare at him, coldly, throwing chunks of ice at him with my eyes. I said I wouldn't go down, not without a fight. This isn't a physical fight, but a mental one. I try fighting the serum, holding my breathe, biting my tongue, imagining it to be something else, but I can't do it. The serum in my veins is effecting my brain to become so overwhelmed, I almost scream. I have held my breathe for too lung. My lungs yearn for oxygen, but I deny it. I can't.

I am Divergent. Could I lie in the influence of truth serum? Or would it feel better to expose Marcus for who he truly is?

Before I can decide on either of this, Niles says, "I'll ask again. It is important that we understand the extent of your loyalty to your chosen faction. So why did you transfer to Dauntless, Tobias?"

My mouth says the answer before I can tell it to stop. "To protect myself.I transferred to protect myself."

"Protect yourself from what?"

The serum is too effective on me now. If only I had a stronger Divergence. If only I could fight this off, but I can't. I am stuck in this.

And there is no way out. This is like my fear of closed spaces. Just in a deeper level.

So I do what a simulation forces me to do. I face it.

"From my father."

The room is pin drop silence now. It is silent, until Niles finally says something. "Thank you for your honesty,"

Many others follow. No one is calling me a coward, or anything yet. And for a moment, I feel as if my faction accepts me for who I am, and not for my past.

I am a fool for thinking this, but it doesn't matter.

"Is your allegiance with your current faction, Tobias?" Niles asks.

"My allegiance lies with anyone who does not support the attack on Abnegation," he says.

I have no other problems answering questions. After all, they do not threaten to hurt my past.

"Speaking of which, I think we should focus on what happened that day. What do you remember about being under the simulation?"

"I was not under the simulation, at first," I explain "It didn't work."

"What do you mean, it didn't work?" He says laughing. To a person who easily fits in only one faction, hearing about a person who can reject simulations will blow him away.

"One of the defining characteristics of the Divergent is that their minds are resistant to simulations," I say "And I am Divergent. So no, it didn't work."

I just revealed another secret. One that would have killed me. But the killers are at Erudite, so it is okay to tell them this part of me.

Everyone talks and shouts though, and I smile as Niles has to do extra work, trying to calm them down.

Serves him right for probing me with my personal information.

"If you don't quiet down, you will be asked to leave!"

They all silence. Pity: I was enjoying is flustered face.

"Now, when you say 'resistant to simulations,' what do you mean?"

_It means resistent to simulations._

"Usually, it means we're aware during simulations,"But the attack simulation was different, using a different kind of simulation

serum, one with long-range transmitters. Evidently the long-range transmitters didn't work on the Divergent at all, because I awoke in my own mind that morning."

"You say you weren't under the simulation at first. Can you explain what you mean by that?"

"I mean that I was discovered and brought to Jeanine, and she injected a version of the simulation serum that specifically targeted the Divergent. I was aware during that simulation, but it didn't do much good."

"The video footage from the Dauntless headquarters shows you running the simulation," Niles says accusingly/ "How, exactly, do you explain that?"

"When a simulation is running, your eyes still see and process the actual world, but your brain no longer comprehends them. On some level, though, your brain still knows what you're seeing and where you are. The nature of this new simulation was that it recorded my emotional responses to outside stimuli,"

My eyes close remembering how Tris looked like a dauntless soldier. "and responded by altering the appearance of that stimuli. The simulation made my enemies into friends, my friends into enemies. I thought I was shutting the simulation down. Really I was receiving instructions about how to keep it running." I say.

"We have seen footage of what ultimately happened to you in the control room," says Niles, "but it is confusing. Please describe it to us."

"Someone entered the room, and I thought it was a Dauntless soldier, trying to stop me from destroying the simulation. I was fighting her, and …" I scowl, the urge to scold Tris again, for letting me almost shot her brains out. "… and then she stopped, and I got confused. Even if I had been awake, I would have been confused. Why would she surrender? Why didn't she just kill me?"

Why didn't she?

I know why. Because she loves me. My eyes search for her, and when I do, I refuse to move. "I still don't understand, how she knew that it would work." I say, whispering almost, but the room echoes my voice. Her face turns pink, and her lips press together.

"I think my conflicted emotions confused the simulation ,and then I heard her voice. Somehow, that enabled me to fight the simulation." I say still looking at her. She was like the antidote to a terrible curse.

"I recognized her, finally, we went back into the control room and stopped the simulation."

"What is the name of this person?" Niles asks.

"Tris," I say "Beatrice Prior, I mean." I correct myself, trying her name again. If this doesn't count as a 'special occasion,; then I don't know what is.

"Did you know her before this happened?"

"Yes."

"How did you know her?"

"I was her instructor. Now we're together." Together. A word that can mean so much. Friendship, strength, loyalty, and love.

"I have a final question. Among the Candor, before a person is accepted into our community, they have to completely expose themselves. Given the dire circumstances we are in, we require the same of you. So, Tobias Eaton: what are your deepest regrets?"

This is the hardest question at all. It asks for me to admit something that writhes inside the inner part of my chest.

"I regret …" I tilt my head, and let out a breathe. The serum over powers me now. Like a weight on my shoulders. But at this point, I don't care.

But I do care.

"I regret my choice."

"What choice?"

"Dauntless. I was born for Abnegation. I was planning on leaving Dauntless, and becoming factionless. But then I met _her_, and..." She came into almost every piece in my mind. "I felt like maybe I could make something more of my decision."

I look at Tris. She didn't care about faulty choice. "Choosing Dauntless in order to escape my father was an act of cowardice. I regret that cowardice. It means I am not worthy of my faction. I will always regret it." I admit.

The whispers of "Thank you for your honesty." start again, but this time, my honesty was stating my cowardice.

And the only thought that comes to mind is whether or not I will be Four again.

* * *

_**BAH this is probably sooo short...oh well, sorry gus, but I got tired of typing, so here's what I came up with :D Hope you enjoy it, and comment and vote 4**_


	14. Chapter 14

Tris walks past me, her back straight, but i doubt it is with confidence. Needless to say, she finds the strength to walk, and is brave enough to sit in that chair, and relive the worst of her memories.

She has changed, but she is still as stubborn and hard headed as she was in initiation. As she walks past me, I squeeze her hand with my own, in what I hope is a reassuring way.

I can't help but remember the way she looked at me as I threw knives at her. Although there will be no sharp objects being chucked at her, the painful personal questions that will be asked will hurt probably worse than a nicked ear.

Niles is about to inject the serum in her neck. Tris shocks me by taking her palm out, and saying "I would rather do it myself."

I pretend not to be puzzled at her sudden odd request.

"Do you know how?"

"Yes." She injects her skin in her neck softly, not even blinking as the needle goes in her neck.

I decide to stand where Tris once stood; with Christina. Not because I want to, but because I can see her clearly from here.

"So. Tobias." She says. "See, I just knew Four couldn't have been your real name."

I already regret standing here.

I try to focus on Tris, and only Tris.

But something keeps elbowing me.

"What?" I snap, as I glare at Christina. I should be sympathetic, since she has lost someone dear to her, but I could care less at the moment.

"Did you and Tris hook up _during_ initiation?"

Maybe if I stay still and silent, she will go away. Like a bee.

"I'll take that as yes." She says. I train my eyes on Tris now. It's a miracle. Christina shuts her mouth and watches her as well.

"What is your name?" Niles asks firmly.

"Beatrice Prior." She says without trouble. Probably because the answer isn't as emotionally difficult to say as it is for me.

"But you go by Tris?"

"I do."

"What are the names of your parents, Tris?"

"Andrew and Natalie Prior."

Most would expect her to tear up, or choke up at this, but since it is Tris, she says the answer forthright, and easily. A good sign of grief starting to fade. The first step, at least.

"You are a faction transfer, are you not?"

"Yes."

"You came from Abnegation? And chose Dauntless?

"Yes." She says. Now, her voice cracks, just a bit, but I notice it, because I have made it my instinct for my mind to know these things.

"Why did you transfer?"

I remember Lauren, Shauna, Zeke, and I bet on why Tris would leave Abnegation. Of course, neither of us expected to find out through truth serum.

Tris scowls, but not angrily. Confused, almost, as if Nile asked her a question that she doesn't understand.

"I wasn't good enough for Abnegation. And I wanted to be free. So I chose Dauntless."

I wonder, suddenly, if I will be able to collect my earnings at a time of war.

Of course, what Tris says is a lie: She is selfless. To the ones she loves, anyway.

"Why weren't you good enough?"

"Because I was selfish."

I thought it was impossible to lie in the truth serum. Tris is just too much sometimes. I just can't imagine Tris being power-hungry, and greedy.

"You were selfish? You aren't anymore?"

"Of course I am." Tris says. "My mother said that everyone is selfish. But I became less selfish in Dauntless. I discovered there were people I would fight for. Die for, even."

A cascade of different emotions flow over me. Passion, because I would die for her as well. Love, because I need her. Anger, because that she would hurt herself to protect me. And most of all, a deep ache in my chest, that spreads to my back, chilling me to the bone.

I realize it as fear. Fear, because I was so close to losing her, and I am scared that it might happen again: That I might wake up one day, and I will open my eyes to a world without her. I know a world like that exists, but I also know it is a world I would never want to experience.

"Tris would you please tell us what happened the day of the attack?"

"I woke up, and everyone was under the simulation." She says. Her voice is monotone. "So I played along until I found Tobias."

"What happened after you and Tobias were separated?"

"Jeanine tried to have me killed" I shudder at this. "but my mother saved me. She used to be Dauntless, so she knew how to use a gun."

Tris struggles for a minute. I assume it is because the memory of her mother is getting to her now.

"She distracted the Dauntless soldiers so I could get away, and they killed her."

More struggling.

"I kept running." She holds her breathe, and then breathes rather heavily.

Trying to fight the simulation, I assume.

"And I found my brother and father. We formed a plan to destroy the simulation."

I frown. She was fighting the simulation to try and hold that within her? What was so secretive about her father and brother planning to destroy the simulation?

She must have remembered her father. He died as well in the attack.

"We infiltrated the Dauntless compound, and my father and I went up to the control room. He fought of Dauntless soldiers at the expense of his life. I made it to the control room, and Tobias was there."

"She calls you buy your real name?" Christina snickers. "Why?"

"I told her to." I growl, trying to focus on the interrogation

"Can I call you that?"

"No." I say, a harsh whisper.

"Tobias said you fought him, but then stopped. Why did you do that?"

"Because she's stupid, and infuriating, and I love her." I murmur. Christina apparently hears this, since she smiles, faintly. It doesn't reach her eyes.

"Because I realized that one of us would have to kill the other, and I didn't want to kill him."

I feel hollow inside. All emotions of irritation of her actions leave me. I feel empty, like all the blood has stopped flowing.

"You gave up?"

The thought of Tris giving up shocks me. Apparently, it offends her because she exclaims a loud and firm, "No!" Her head shakes. "No not exactly. I remembered something I had done in my fear landscape in Dauntless initiation... in a simulation, a woman demanded that I kill my family, and I let her shoot me instead. It worked then. I thought..." She presses her index and middle finger, and presses the bridge of her nose tightly.

"I was so frantic, but all I could think of was that there was something to it;there was strength in it. And I couldn't kill him, so I had to try." She blinks vigorously.

"So you were never under the simulation?"

"No. No. No, I am Divergent."

"Just to clarify. Are you telling me that you were almost murdered by the Erudite...and then fought your way into the Dauntless compound...and destroyed the simulation?"

"Yes."

"I think I speak for everyone when I say that you have earned the title of Dauntless."

Truth serum is not needed to know the factual answer. Shouts arise, fists pump, and I would join in as well, if it weren't for the fact that as I watch Tris, she looks depressed, and sullen.

Something is wrong. And she hasn't said it yet.

I cross my arms. I clench my hands, so tight I feel the blood stop pulsing in them. I just know, by intuition, that something is going to happen now, that I will now finally know what has been hurting her.

"Beatrice Prior. What are your deepest regrets?

"I regret..."

Her eyes roam around. They look alert, alive. Not at all what I felt while I was down under, but serums affect us all differently. They stop at me, and I stare back, unable to look away, her aquamarine-stormy grey eyes making me straighten, just at the feel of her gaze. They move to Christina, but I still feel tense.

"Will." She says, in something that is either a sob, a cry, a groan, or a gasp. "I shot Will."

Christina covers her mouth with both palms. My eyes widen.

I knew it wasn't just because of her parents. I knew she kept something from me.

I ache, realizing that the girl who is willing to die for me, will not share her problems, her grief with me.

"While he was under the simulation. I killed him. He was going to kill me, but I killed him. My friend."

Her face falls, and she looks as empty as I feel. Christina's arms drop, and hurt is clearly plastered on her face.

I hear the whispers of "Thank you for your honesty."

But I can't possibly say those words, because they are false.

I can't thank her for her honesty, because she chose to deceive me, to _lie_ to me.

To keep her distance from me.

* * *

_**YOU ALL PROBABLY HATE ME FOR UPDATING...A MONTH LATER. I HAVE MY REASONS, AND THERE ALL LEGIT EXCUSES!**_

_**1)I TOOK A BREAK FROM DIVERGENT. I HAD A TOTAL, DIVERGENT BLACKOUT. **_

_**2) AFTER MY BREAK FROM DIVERGENT, I REREAD IT, AND IT FELT LIKE READING IT AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME!**_

_**3) I RE-FELL IN LOVE WITH THE PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS SERIES. (TEAM PERCABETH.) IT'S BEEN LIKE SIX MONTHS SINCE I READ ABOUT PERCY, AND I HAD TO REREAD ALL THE BOOKS!**_

_**4) I READ MARK OF ATHENA, AS I HAVEN'T READ IT BEFORE. ONCE I FOUND OUT THAT PERCY AND ANNABETH FELL, I WENT INTO A BOOK DEPRESSION.**_

_**5)I REALIZED HOW MUCH AWESOMER GREEKS ARE THEN ROMANS. CAMP HALF-BLOOD! I JUST HAVE A WEIRD, UNKNOWN HATRED TOWARD CAMP JUPITER...I THINK IT'S BECAUSE ROMANS CONQUERED GREECE, AND JUST STOLE THEIR CULTURE. I ALSO THINK I HATE ROMANS SINCE THERE SO COCKY IN THE BOOK. ALSO, ROMANS DON'T HAVE PERCY, AND THEREFORE, THEY JUST AREN'T AS COOL AS THE GREEKS. I ALSO THINK CAMP HALF-BLOOD SOUNDS COOLER THAN CAMP JUPITER.**_

_**6) I HATE ZEUS. AND HERA. NO WONDER THEY MARRIED. THEY HAVE SO MANY THINGS IN COMMON, FOR INSTANCE, THEY BOTH SUCK.**_

_**THE END. AGAIN, SOOOO SORRY! BUT HERE YOU GO!**_


	15. Chapter 15

She rises from the chair, looking on the verge of tears, and sickness. She looks like she is about to faint.

I take a breathe in and let it out in a sharp exhale. I want to scold her, and ask her what the hell she was thinking when she directly lied to me, but I know it wouldn't be the wisest thing to do. I need to process my thoughts and what I will say to her, which I will do after a good nights sleep. She also looks like she wouldn't want to take anything too harsh at the moment. She blames herself for her parents, and now Will's death. She is like a wall of glass with a small crack in it. If you hit it too hard, the whole sculpture will crumble.

Jack Kang himself comes up to me. "Your weapons. I assume that you won't go stabbing innocents with them now that you've been claimed as not guilty."

I say nothing, afraid that I'll burst my anger at Tris, him, my family, and the faction system itself in front of everyone who try to exit.

I wait for her to finish talking to Uriah. Whatever he says to her makes her look just a twinge less sad. I feel a pinch of bitterness in my gut. It should be me comforting her, telling her it isn't her fault, that I don't blame her for anything, that I forgive her for lieing to me. But no; I am incapable of pampering her, because I have grown accustomed to thinking she can jump over any obstacle that passes her, sometimes forgetting she's only human. I am still furious, and upset, and flustered.

I stand next to her shoulder, and she turns to me, wincing, almost guarding herself. This makes me even more angry. She shouldn't be keeping distance between us. I broke my barrier that crossed between me and her, and it is her turn to demolish hers, but she just keeps building to the wall instead of bombing it down.

"I got out weapons back." I say. She looks relieved that I had not acknowledged what has happened. I take a deep breathe, and again corner the urge to shout at her, for now anyways. She takes the knife. "We can talk about it tomorrow." I say, not a whisper or a growl. Just quietly. I feel my fist clench, but it is not enough to quench my fury, so my toes scrunch up too.

"Okay." She says, almost yelping. I soften a little at that. I remember during initiation, she would avoid me, as if I were a disease_-_especially after the whole throwing-knives-at-your-precious-head moment. She forgot about it when she held me in the hallway_-_the action leading to me showing her my nightmares, but now, she does not meet my stare, and she does not touch me. I feel like I am not allowed to, that I am her instructor, that I have to withhold that urge all over again, but then I am back in the present, where I _can_ be with her, hold her, and kiss her.

And so I do, my arms slung over her shoulder, careful not to hold the bullet wound. She clamps her awkward arm around my waist, and we walk side by side with no physical distance between us.

So why do I feel so far away?

* * *

_**I THINK I'M GOING TO GO BACK TO WRITING SHORTER CHAPTERS. THEY SEEM TO BE EASIER TO WRITE, AND THAT WOULD MEAN A FASTER UPDATE FOR ALL OF YOU WHO LOOK FORWARD TO THEM :) I KNOW I HAVEN'T DONE SHOUT OUT'S IN A LONG TIME, BUT LOOK FOR THEM IN THE NEXT CHAPTER ;)**_

_** PS: THINKING OF CHANGING THE TITLE OF THE FIRE WITHIN... HERE ARE THE OPTIONS I'VE GOT SO FAR...**_

_**1)Selfish, Brave, or Both**_

_**2)Blood Before Faction**_

_**3)Inner Desires**_

_**4)Burned Stones**_

_**5)Between Gray and Black**_

_**WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK :D. I'M CHANGING IT SINCE THE FIRE WITHIN IS THE NAME OF A PUBLISHED BOOK BY CHRIS D'LACEY, AND I DIDN'T WANT MY STORY TO BE MISINTERPRETED :)**_


	16. Chapter 16

That night I dream of people clustered around the tracks. They whisper to each other, and the wind blows.

My stomach sinks. I know what happened. I remember this memory clearly. I walk over to the the cluster, and when they see me, they make way for me to see what has happened. Seventeen year old me didn't expect anything at the time. But even in this dream, I know I will see the body of Amar, dead tangled, and pale, strange for his usually tan glow.

But this time, in this dream of mine, when I look down, I do not see the face of Amar, I see the face of Tris. Panic over takes me, and as I look around the crowd, they are not the Dauntless. They are the factionless, and their faces are plain, and they all have the same look on them. Pity. I look back at the tracks, and see her hand twitch. She is alive. I try to go down and pull her up, but a train comes, and rolls over her, and I scream.

I wake with my body covered with sweat. I breathe heavily, and my eyes can;t focus: I woke too abruptly. I stay there, breathing heavily for maybe ten minutes. I t takes me a while to realize Tris is not in her cot. She must be out for a walk, or avoiding me again, but I know she'll be back. I change quickly in a candor bathroom, splashing water on my face as I do so. I borrow a shirt and jeans, and tie my shoelaces before exiting, and finding my way back to the cots. I lean against the wall, patiently waiting for her to arrive.

When I see her, I turn and go through a hallway toward the elevator. I know what my plan is. Tris follows me, as expected, just like the time I lead her toward the fear landscape room. I press the button and when I do, walk in , and she does too. I press the button for the second floor, but I say silent.

Here is the part I didn't plan for: what to say. I have so much to confess from her, and I want her to confess to me as well. I unconsciously look at my shoes, and cross my arms. I know I am frustrating her, by the way her hands shake, and how her ears are bright red, and also by the shudders going through her small frame.

"You didn't tell me." I say finally, factually. "Why not?"

"Because I didn't...I didn't know how to."

My eyebrows scurry together. Is it that hard to have a conversation with me? "It's pretty easy, Tris-"

"Oh yeah," She says sarcastically, and nodding her head. "It's so easy. All I have to do is go up to you and say, 'By the way, I shot Will, and now guilt is ripping me to shreds, but what's for breakfast?' Right? Right?" She says her voice elevated, and I suddenly get worried. "Why don't you try killing one of your best friends and then dealing with the consequences?" She says, yelling at me. Her face falls to her palms, the way it did when she refused to not tell me what was wrong when I let her in my apartment after her Fear landscape. She breathes deeply, not crying or sobbing.

I can only imagine what is going through her. Of course I'm glad she shot Will. If she hadn't she would be dead, and I would be controlling the simulation still, and no Abnegation would be alive now. But I try imagining a time in my life where I'd have to kill some of my friends_-_Zeke, Shauna, Lauren_-_but I can't bring myself to even think about that. And here she is, dealing with that pain.

I touch her good shoulder. "Tris. I'm sorry. I shouldn't pretend that I understand. I just meant..." I am at a loss of words for a moment. "I wish you trusted me enough to tell me things like that."

She is silent for a while, and I have something else to bring up. Anger cornering me again, I say " I mean I had to find out that you almost drowned in a water tank from Caleb. Doesn't that seem a little strange to you?"

She straightens, and I instantly know that was not the best thing to say on my part. She wipes her tears away, like she is about to explode, but she ever so carefully and silently says, "Other thing seem stranger. Like finding out that your boyfriend's supposedly dead mother is still alive by seeing her in person." She says, and I am about to comment on that, but she keeps on going. "Or overhearing his plans to ally with the factionless, but he never tells you about it. That seems a little strange to me."

And this is where she has me, red handed. Her touch, once a pleasant type of electric shock, has now turned to an evil cackling of fire, and I let my hand fall off her shoulder.

"Don't pretend this is only my problem. If I don't trust you, you don't trust me either."

She's both right and wrong. There were some things I thought she should know, and some things I thought were better to not bring up yet.

The only difference is, is that those things I haven't told her yet, would have come out any way. I have no idea what to do about the factionless, and I would have gone to her for advise.

I realise I have to be careful around Tris. She exceptionally well at the art of spying. First she overhears Marcus, and now she knows about my conversation with Evelyn. I never thought this would have to happen, but Tris is a person I have to watch out for.

"I thought we would get to those things eventually. Do I have to tell you everything right away?" I say innocently.

"God, Four!" She shouts, and I flinch, because she doesn't call me Four anymore, and it's been a while since I heard it from her mouth. She says it in a mocking tone. It's like having her kick me in the ribs, but the only difference is, is that she doesn't care.

"You don't want to tell me everything right away, but I have to tell you everything right away? Can't you see how stupid that is?"

I point at her, and keep my voice lowered. "First of all, don't use that name like a weapon against me. Second, I was not making plans to ally with the factionless; I was just thinking it over. If I had made a decision, I would have said something to you. And third, It would be different if you had actually intended to tell me about Will at some point, but it's obvious that you didn't." I say finishing, and taking a huge breathe.

"I did tell you about Will!" She accuses, and I am about to say that saying it drugged on truth serum doesn't count, but she continues and says, :That wasn't truth serum; it was me. I said it because I chose to."

The words don't sink in, and confusion over takes me. "What are you talking about?"

"I was aware. Under the truth serum. I could have lied; I could have kept it from you. But I didn't, because I thought you deserved to know the truth."

"What a way to tell me! In front of over a hundred people! How intimate!" I say, because I am upset that she sees me as just another person in a crowd of Dauntless. Don't I mean more to her than that? Am I just another adrenaline junkie? Haven't I shown her I'm not like that?

"Oh, so now it's not enough that I told you; it has to be in the right setting? Next time should I brew some tea and make sure the lighting is right, too?"

Her sarcasm hurts me. I left out a growl, and since I can't find it in myself to look at her, I look away, waling away and from for a few seconds. I feel heat in my cheeks, and a faint angry blush stings me cheeks. It would have been nice to be alone when she told me, but she doesn't get it. She doesn't get the fact that i want to know certain parts about her that no one else knows. I want her to tell me she loves me, that I actually mean something to her. And even if she doesn't say, she could have at least showed it by being honest with me. I don't think she understands though, and I don't want to tell her this. I want her to find out herself.

She has changed a lot through initiation. She seems more erratic, and that is not what she is normally like. At all. She is usually calm, and quiet, plotting for a logical way to do something. Now she just goes ahead, and fights, not thinking about the repercussions, and I don't like it one bit: she's acting like the other Dauntless girls. If I wanted just a normal Dauntless girl, I would have.

I turn back, and there she is staring straight at me, her eyes wide with shock at my sudden tantrum. "Sometimes it isn't easy to be with you, Tris." I say quietly, looking away, because I can't look her in the eye and say what those words really mean. _It isn't easy to be with you like this, so I'm not sure I want to._

She considers her response for a long time, and I'd give anything to know her thoughts. Her shoulders relax. "I'm sorry. I should have been honest with you."

I frown. It is something for Tris to apologize, but it isn't enough. It isn't what I want. I don't want an apology for her avoiding the truth from me. I want her to promise me she'll trust me from now on, that she'll trust me, because she loves me.

"That's it? That's all you have to say?"

"What else do you want me to say?" She asks, completely oblivious.

I shake my head, to take away the weight in my head that is screaming in frustration. "Nothing, Tris. Nothing."

I walk away, fast, because I'm not sure I can stay so close to her, if she keeps blocking herself away from me.

* * *

_**This was short, but it's all I could have gotten through. I keep re-reading Insurgent, and I'm trying to think of things Four says, and there are a lot of parts where he just dissapears, and I have to think of things he would be planning behind Tris's back. I have to make Four sound more like jerk, and not so clingy to Tris and thoughts about her, because he seems to pull away from her in the next few chapters...**_

_**thanks for reading :)**_

_**Planning on updating Between Gray and Black, but I want to make it a long one, so it'll take some time.**_

_**Also, I want to make a few more one shots...c'mon any ideas? I'll write just about anything (except anything about other ships...like petris, or tririah. Four tris shipper here... ) but I'll write one shots on future events, or Other character POV, (ex, what do you guys think about tori's reaction to her brothers death?) or even some fluff (FourTris. or Christina and Will...wait, we should name that...Willistina? Chrilliam, if Will is short for william...eh, you get the point.) stuff like that. Lemme know :) **_


	17. Chapter 17

I know what has to happen today. I don't know when I thought of this plan, or how it popped into my brain, but the second I am away from Tris, I can think clearly again, and I just know I have to discuss a plan with Evelyn.

So what I do next can be described as irrational and not very well thought out.

I jump on the first train that passes by, and look outside the car until I'm near the area where Evelyn held us captive.

Now, I'm not completely stupid. Of course I came armed. My gun is strapped to my waist, where it rests comfortably. I jump off, and walk toward the safe house, and I go over the things that need discussing.

How to convince the Dauntless.

Will the factionless cooperate.

Who will claim leadership for the Dauntless side.

So many things. So much pressure. So much uncertainty.

I stand in front of the door. Same old crumbly building, seeming remote. But I know that inside, the building is buzzing with factionless life.

Well, if they had one.

I don't bother knocking. I simply kick the door open, coming in. Factionless freeze when they see me. It is around breakfast, so most of them are eating. I see children hiding behind the adults, but I don't have time to speculate on the details. "Where's Evelyn?"

"Right here." My mother, olive skinned, and slim yet masculine, says. "Continue eating. No harm here. We need to discuss a few things."

They mumble and growl and snare, but they follow order, and I can't help but know that my mother from eleven years ago can't possibly be this woman. The woman back then cowered from the man she called her husband. This woman seems to be the type of person who kills when she wants to.

She takes me to her office, again through those idiotic boiler room pipes. When we arrive, she offers me a seat. I don't take it.

"Shall we discuss the alliance?" She asks.

I snap my head and glare at her. "What makes you think that I came here to ally with you?"

She smiles, and it makes me want to punch her. "Why else would you barge in the factionless sector nine in the morning?" She says. "I doubt it was because you wanted old soup and half rotten canned peaches for breakfast."

My face feels hot. Coming in here shows how desperate I am for help. Coming here shows them that I give up, and that Evelyn wins. I feel like I am being stripped of my dignity, and I feel dizzy at the thought, so I don't think about it like that. Instead, I talk.

"I have no right to decide the fate of an entire faction, and I'm not so sure I should trust you yet." I say reluctantly.

She sighs. "One step at a time, I suppose."

One step at a time.

I'll be coming here for more secret meetings.

I frown, and try not to punch the wall. That would be rather unwise, and painful. "Like I said. I'm still thinking about it."

"Very well." She says, a little lazily. "But still. I asked this of you. I know you can do it, Tobias. I know you can be a Dauntless leader."

I bite down my shock on my tongue, and I feel my teeth grind my taste buds. "Why would I want that?"

But I know the answer. I've thought it a million times. Once, while throwing knives at Tris. I want to be able to stop people from doing anything unwise, and wrong.

But what if what I see as unwise and wrong is actually smart and right? Would that make me a dictator? A bully? A Marcus?

"Why?"

"Like I said before, Tobias." She says, and I notice she says my name as many times as possible. It's pissing me off. "You need to connect us, factionless with Dauntless. Imagine it, a group that is desperate for change, and a group that craves danger, in one. We would be urged, motivated, _strong_."

_Not the think you'd hear your mom say_. "But-"

"You won't be like Marcus, son." She says and forces an encouraged smile.

I take a deep breath in, like I do before shooting a gun or throwing a knife, trying to find the target, and focusing in on it. But what's the target in this situation? I can't find it. What am I aiming to accomplish?

I don't let my breathe out for probably a whole minute. I know what I'm aiming for-the end to this war. But I'll have to hit a few other targets before hitting that one.

"Fine." I say. "I'll try."

"You'll have to dissuade people of your father's rule." She says distastefully. "The spies I have in Candor told me about your confession."

I look down at my shoes. I feel like a little kid, with my mom scolding me for getting myself into trouble.

"You'll have to earn their respect, their loyalty." She says. "Redeem yourself."

"How?" I ask.

"By showing them he no longer holds you. That you overpowered your fear."

I shift from one foot to the other, awkwardly. "What are you asking me to do?"

"Do what your father did to you." She says, a fire in her throat. "Hurt him."

I wince at the thought, but not out of fear, surprisingly. Getting vengeance on the ones who hurt you is not bravery. It is desperation, and anger.

But the Dauntless morals have changed a long time ago. If I inflict harm to the one who hurt me is seen as bravery to the group who claim they know courage, then I'll do it."

"Deal." I say. "I have to go back before anyone realises I'm gone."

"Before you do...when you get back at that son on a-" She catches herself, probably from the look I give her, coughs, and says, "Give this back to him."

She hands me a gray ring. I never would have thought it was silver since it was so rusty. But it is, nonetheless, an Abnegation wedding band.

I would know. Marcus threw his matching one at my head once he found out my mother was gone. Once the thing bounced off my head, he flushed it down the toilet upstairs. Then I got the worst beating of my life. I was nine.

I nod, and as I make my way back going through the boiler room pipes, I here her say "Keep my posted."

Which I hear as _"You'll come back Tobias. I know you will."_

* * *

**I know suckish, short, and took a long time, but I was on a writers block, with tests coming up, and all sorts of stuff that make a person go "I need a break!" I've kinda been relaxing in all my spare time (which I got few of, since homework.) and I had no idea what to do for this chapter, since Tobias was not mentioned. I'll update Between Gray and Black next, but maybe not this week :/**

**You know, a great realization hit me. Most books I like (Divergent, PJO, THG) have boy characters who's name were always odd, and I didn't like at first. **

_**DIVERGENT**_

***Finds out his name's Tobias***

**Stupid Past Me: "What kinda name is that? It's so old styled, and it sounds wierd! It doesn't even seem badass!**

**Present Me: O MY GOD! TOBIAS IS SO AWESOME! WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY (this goes on for about 100x more...) :D**

_**PJO**_

***Before reading book, first chapter, where it says "My name is Percy Jackson"**

**Stupid Past Me: Percy? What the heck! What kinda name is that? Does your mom hate you, or what?**

**Present Me: O lord! Perseus Jackson is the best name ever! AHHH! He's so cool! Poseidon is so lucky your his son, and your mom is so nice and cool! *sobs at awesomeness of Perseus.(-MOA spoiler) Sobs even more since he's in the deepest part of hell* **

_**THG**_

_***Peeta Mellark!***_

_**Stupid Past Me: Pfft, your gunna get killed and turned into peeta bread. Seriously? What's even more hilarious is that your the boy with the BREAD.**_

_**Present Me: Peeta Mellark is so awesome! He's so sweet and nice, but not so badass, but that okay, since he's smart, and sweet, and didn't even get killed! :D**_

_**Again, Stupid Past me is stupid.**_


	18. Chapter 18

When I get back, Lynn grabs my shirt and starts dragging me toward a room full of beds and Dauntless.

_What the hell?_

"Your bed." She says simply walking away.

_Again. What the hell?_ And I shrug, walking toward to what I will be sleeping on for the next few days. Better than a cot on the floor. Then I notice Tris sitting on a bed next to me.

She and Lynn have a conversation, half playful, half serious. I guess it's a good thing to relax a little. Especially for Tris.

"Ready to go?" Lynn asks.

"Where are you going?" I ask, giving away the fact I was listening to their conversation, and stepping out of my hiding place. Tris doesn't answer me, which makes me want to scold her for her lack of speech skills. Not a word from her all day, and after my meeting with Evelyn, I just need some peace of mind, which she is not giving by ignoring me.

"Top of the Hancock building to spy on Erudite. Want to come?" Lynn answers.

I give Tris a knowing look, like an inside secret, which it is. Only she knows my fears.

"No, I've got a few things to take care of here." What if she gets caught? She won't be able to defend herself, but she is smart. I have no doubt she'd find a way. "But be careful." I add, just because.

She gives me a nod. I need to say something more to Tris, so I touch her arm, halting her, and holding on until Lynn is a reasonable distance away.

"I'll see you later." I mumble, a way of saying "_You better come back." _

What else? I don't want her to act on her own. Lynn seems to look up to her now, and if Lynn does, it probably means a number of Dauntless do too. She has to guide them."Don't do anything stupid."

She frowns at my horrid choice of words. Tris the Divergent would never do anything stupid. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"I didn't mean that," I amend. "I meant don't let anyone else do anything stupid. They'll listen to you." Like in capture the flag. I remember her brave and smart plan to find the other team. I remember her selfless act of allowing Christina to take the flag.

I am about to kiss her at the fine memory, but reality sinks in. She trusted me to climb with her up the Ferris wheel, her life in my hands when she slipped off a rung. But now, she doesn't allow me to know anything going on in her life.

I pull back quickly, biting my bottom lip to avoid it from frowning at her. She doesn't give me a second glance as she runs off, looking for Lynn, or running from me. I don't know.

* * *

_**SCHOOL IS FINALLY OUT FOR ME! AT LAST! I KNOW IT WAS SUPER SHORT, BUT I FIGURED SINCE IT'S SUMMER, I'D START MAKING SMALLER CHAPTERS AND UPDATES ABOUT EVERYDAY :) ALSO, I'M REDOING DIVERGENT: FOUR'S STORY CHAPTERS, SO THEY'LL HAVE LITTLE TO NO GRAMMAR AND SPELLING ERRORS :D**_


	19. Chapter 19

I am talking to Ebony, the minor friend from initiation who worked at the fence, in the upper levels with other Dauntless around me, but it's surprisingly private. The Dauntless don't like to invade ones private conversations. They're not curious like the Erudite, or thirst for truth and secrets like the Candor.

"Where were you today?" Ebony asks, her eyelashes long, and her cheeks an unnatural shade of pink.

"Are you wearing makeup?" I ask in shock. Ebony never needed makeup. She was considered pretty either way.

"Yeah, but only because Candor bans makeup." She says shrugging. "It's one of the list of rules Candor gave Dauntless when we got there. I couldn't help myself: it's such a stupid rule! I had to do this to prove a point."

"That point is?" I ask, amused at her stubborn stupidity. That's the difference between Abnegation stubbornness and Dauntless stubbornness. Dauntless don't back down to prove an unnecessary point. The Abnegation are stubborn to stand up for someone else.

Tris is both kinds of stubborn.

"That we have more important issues that need to be settled, and that they shouldn't be caring about our appearances."

I shrug. "I don't wear makeup anyways. I don't see the point in why girls wear it."

"Tris wears eyeliner and mascara sometimes." Ebony points out. "Lauren told me."

"Not on her own will. Christina made her, probably." I say smiling at the memory.

"You didn't answer my question before." Ebony says. "Stop changing the subject. Where were you today? I've been looking all over."

Before I get a chance to say anything, a woman about my age burst through the doors. She is dressed in blue.

We all immediately point are guns at her. She raises her hands up to her head, in submission, and she breathes heavily. "Other Erudite, They're attacking you guys downstairs. Have to...get you...out." She says in between breathes.

Tris. Uriah. Lynn. Marlene.

"They're coming here. Go to the fire escape." She says, regaining some of her breathe. "It's not sealed off. Go down, and then go up to the stairs, surround them."

"What are they doing down there?" I ask, and we all put our guns down.

She sucks in a breathe, and exhales loudly. "Herding the Divergent."

"What are they doing to them." I ask worried.

"Two, they take to Erudite. The rest..." She trails off.

She doesn't need to say anything more. "Come on then!" I say. "Let's go!"

"Why should we trust her!" Someone shouts.

"What other choice do we have." I growl.

They all fall silent. They all know me, or know of me. They know I am good at strategy, and they know I have knowledge in battle and planning. They look at me, expectantly.

I breathe in to calm myself. _Just think of this as Capture the Flag_ I tell myself.

"We go down the fire escape, like Erudite girl here said-"And I am cut off.

"Cara. My name is Cara." She says.

"Like _Cara_ said, and then we go up the four flights of stairs. We try finding them, and surrounding them. They might have guns, and you will see Dauntless traitors. But they don't expect us, and we have the element of surprise." I explain.

They're all silent. Then Ebony talks. "Well, what are we waiting for then? Our faction needs us."

* * *

_**More frequent, but short chapters...:)**_


	20. Chapter 20

We are now in the lobby, trying to think of a plan. Cara makes the orders.

"Split into four equal groups. Not just in equal as in number, equal as in skill level. If you storm up there all at one time, they'll try to escape by fighting through the group that looks the weakest," She explains. "If you go up there as a group with equal combat, than they'll have no choice but to surrender or run away."

They all nod, and I can't help but to agree with her. She's strategic, I'll give her that.

"How do we know what group to go with then?" Someone shouts. I recognize him as Richard, a Candor transfer during my year.

"Whoever is used to noticing a person's strength and weaknesses. A Dauntless trainer, perhaps?" Cara says.

Oh, hell.

"Lauren is downstairs with them, so that leaves us with Four...or Tobias." Richard says a smirk playing on his mouth. I want to punch his jaw so hard, it would crack.

"How good are you at finding combat weaknesses and power?" Cara asks.

Here's my shot at revenge, and to show them what Amar taught me in the time I knew him.

"Richard protect's his face to much leaving his ribs and legs wide open for a kick or even a low punch. He has a good punch, but doesn't aim it correctly, and is slow at giving it. He doesn't plan ahead of his plans, and usually just hits when he can." What else can I add to mortify him? "He also is too buff, so he's not fast enough. I'd put him in a group with lower combat abilities, but with a few more people who excel in the criteria."

For one whole second I get blank stares. Than Cara says, "Four, help me group the loyal Dauntless."

I hurry as much as I can. This is just like trying to help initiates before they begin to fight in the ring. I find flaws, and give them tips, and group them into four groups, Cara helping. We look at the groups we made. They seem even in strength, and worthy enough to fight.

We find the four staircases, and once Cara says "Go," we all run as fast as we can up the stairs and into our enemies location.

We all push and shove each other, I feel a hard shove that pushes me into the railing of the stairs. It's Richard. I glare, considering the option of pushing him hard enough to fall down the stairs, but I can't. Even he needs to be a part of this in order to work, so I give myself a punch Richard rain-check.

When we get there, there are Dauntless on the floor, motionless, and I get startled, and my breathe catches. Was Tris here? Is she one of them? Panic runs through my veins instead of blood. I should have followed her. I should have forgotten my stupid fear and came here with her.

Then I here Cara's voice. "It's okay! There not dead, it's just a simulation shot. They're trying to find the Divergent, remember?

Uriah and Tris are here somewhere, in a room with someone deciding whether to take them in as lab rats, or killing them on the spot.

"Surround the elevators!" Cara yells

Our feet thump in a hurry, like we're wolves that heard that there's a pack member in trouble. I would have marveled at the though that our team of Dauntless is behaving like we were told to in the manifestos, but the elevator's are obviously going to be full of the Divergent they plan on killing, and since Tris and Uriah aren't here on the floor, I assume they were caught.

I feel the urge too yell at Tris and say why she didn't just play along and act unconscious, until my feet stop a few yards from the elevator. Tris is there, and Eric is pacing in front of them.

Eric. I almost hiss at the thought of his name. He leans in and whispers something to her. That's why Tris couldn't act like the other normal Dauntless. Eric already knows she was Divergent. If she acted like them, he would have caught her in her act.

I smack my forehead. That is the price of someone knowing about your Divergence. I open my eyes just in time to see Tris sink the knife I gave her into Eric's waist. All the Loyal Dauntless start running toward the elevators again, once we see that the traitors are looking for their own weapons.

I see Uriah shooting, so the kid's covered. Tris tries to get Eric's gun but recoils from it, like it shocked her. I growl, furious at how she can't even hold a gun if it means protecting herself. A few enemies find there guns, and are shooting back however, so I run to Tris, grasp her shoulders, and push her to the wall, not having enough time to be careful with her bullet wound. I hover over her, praying to God she doesn't get hit again, and shout, "Tell me if anyone's behind me!"

She loops her arms around my neck, her breathes fluttering on my neck. She says nothing, so I just shoot randomly, again and again, for what seems like hours. I don't feel any more recoils, and I know I'm out of bullets. A frustrated scream erupts from Tris, probably from her lack of shooting skills.

Next to us, Eric groans in agony. I smile a little. She can't fire a gun, so she stabs someone instead. At least she's still resourceful, using what she can to her advantage.

Then I notice a small boy next to us, blood pooling from his head. I sulk. We weren't fast enough.

The gun shots stop, and I hear loyal Dauntless screams of victory.

Tris still grasps the knife tightly in her hands, like she's afraid she's still in danger. I sigh, both proud and angered at what she did today.

"Tris. You can put the knife down now."


	21. Chapter 21

"Cara?" Tris asks, her voice sounding mournful.

"Yeah, the woman who came up here. She said her name was Cara." I say again. I explained to Tris about what had happened, and how the loyal Dauntless got to the elevators, but the only thing she seems to actually process is Cara. Did she know her? Now that I think about it, she does remind me of someone familiar.

"Cara was Will's older sister." Tris says softly. Great. If I had known that, I wouldn't have brought Cara up. Now Tris seems to sulk even more.

* * *

Since there are no willing Dauntless who would be courteous enough to take the injured Erudite who left their faction to help us (Cara wasn't the only one), I decide that I would, since I haven't got a single scar throughout this whole war (something I don't think I deserve).

I deposit two of them up on the fourth floor, the medical ward. I am about to pick up another, a brown haired girl, who is moaning in pain, but another pair of hands pick her up before I do. "I'll take her, you take that guy over there." He says pointing with his head to a guy who was shot with whatever the traitor Dauntless used as ammo, right on his sternum.

The man who took the girl is Zeke. I almost pounce at him, remembering that he's a traitor, but if he was, he wouldn't be helping me.

"Why are you here, Zeke?" I ask cautiously.

He sighs, and looks up at me reluctantly. "Can I trust you?"

"That depends." I reply back.

He takes a huge intake of breathe, and then says, "I need to trust you to not try and persuade me out of it."

So he is a traitor. Something in my drops in the pit of my stomach. But he's still my friend. I won't be what our leaders wanted: I won't just be loyal to them, only. I'll be loyal to my friends too. I wouldn't have survived in the Dauntless compound without Zeke, or Shauna, or even Lauren. I wouldn't have wanted to stay, and I wouldn't have had an example of what the true meaning of Dauntless was.

I am frustrated with him, and I can't understand what possible reason he has for joining the other side, but since I almost lost my girlfriend to my enemy today, and because she witnessed the murder of a child (which she didn't need, after her parents and Will) and because I'm more lenient today after today's episode, I say, "I promise."

He looks behind him, like he expects someone to be listening, and then the other way, around me. Then he gestures me to bend down, since he can't reach up to my ear, being as short as he is. I roll my eyes, and do so. Even as a traitor, he's still Zeke. I await his secret, and he whispers-loudly, might I say-"I'm a spy for the Loyal Dauntless."

Not what I was expecting, I'll admit. I straighten immediately, and look at him strangely. "Zeke are you insane? If the traitor's figure out what your-"

"You promised you wouldn't!" He hisses comically. "I know, but I'm not the only one. Tori, the tattoo artist is too! We're going to find out as much as possible about the other team hopefully slowing them down. Then if we find something important enough, we can come here and report."

I'm happy because somewhere in my brain, I knew Zeke being a henchman was out of character. I just knew he couldn't be a traitorous bastard. And then I'm mad because he's doing this with so many of our friends insulting him.

"You really let down Uriah, you know." At the mention of his brother, he becomes limp.

"Don't tell him." Zeke says. "He'll just want to follow. The only reason I'm telling you, is because I know you wouldn't want to follow me, or stop me from going back."

I scowl. Is he instituting that I'm a bad friend? "How are you so sure about that?"

"You wouldn't leave because now you have a girlfriend." He smiles devilishly.

"She can take care of herself." I say, now taking into account being a spy.

"Sure, I know that, but she needs you." He frowns. "Heard about all the Abnegation leaders being dead, except for Marcus. I guess that means her Dad. Her Mom too."

Damn it-he's right. If I leave, Tris and everyone here will see me as a traitor, and I know that if I were in Tris' place I would feel abandoned.

That is not going to happen. "I can always stop you from going back." I warn, considering knocking him unconscious so he doesn't depart.

"Because." He says, taking another wounded Erudite. I do so as well. "I made you promise."

"So?" I ask, but I know I can't stop him by force-I gave him my word.

"So..." He says, as we walk taking, the injured to medical help. "You never break a promise."

I groan knowing he's right. "When are you leaving?"

"I'll help you with the bodies, first."

And he does. I ask him if he found out anything interesting, and he said he found out about Uriah's Divergence.

"Jeanine has a room full of Dauntless-Divergent suspects. Uriah, Tris, and even you, are on it."

"Yeah, well..." I say not knowing what goes next.

"You knew about Uriah, during initiation." He accuses, but he grins. "Thanks for protecting him."

We make our last round of Erudite, and as I place one down on a cot, I turn around to say bye to Zeke, but when I do, he's already gone.

* * *

_**SOMEWHERE IN INSURGENT, WHEN TOBIAS WAS TALKING TO TRIS, IN THE INTEROGATION ROOM, HE SAYS " ZEKE AND I WE'RE HAULING UP WOUNDED ERUDITE ALL MORNING," AND THIS WAS BEFORE ZEKE CAME WITH TORI, SO I FIGURED THIS MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED, BUT WHEN TOBIAS TOLD TRIS, SHE JUST DIDN'T NOTICE...**_

_**AGAIN, I KNOW, SMALL CHAPTER, BUT MORE FREQUENT UPDATES :D**_


	22. Chapter 22

I am in the cafeteria expecting to find Tris. I haven't seen Uriah, Shauna, or Lauren yet, but I plan on catching up with them a little later. I drift off, my mind wandering to endless nothings, thinking about silly things. Like how I noticed how everything in Candor is black and white, and how they all dress practically the same way. Or how casual everyone is acting when outside lies the enemy, that is a genius in crime, literally.

Then I see a blonde haired girl hugging a brown hair boy. Tris, and she is hugging Caleb. How he got here, I don't know, but it doesn't seem important so I don't care. I'm a little worried that he'll come hunting me down later to ask me if I stole his sister's innocence, or if I've tried to undress her yet.

How the other factions came to the conclusion that all Dauntless men are only interested in figure, I don't know. There are some decent families here, as well as people who only expect a good time.

None the less, I catch Tris' gaze. I guess she needs a moment with her only family member left, which I can deal with.

My mind leads to family, but not my past one. I imagine more of the future, Tris by my side, happy again, with a little one running around a home_-_not a small apartment, or the other homes in the Dauntless compound, but an actual home. I sigh, not knowing if that is what I want now. Maybe in the distant future, when all this blows over.

I mentally punch myself in the face. I've been with her for only a few weeks, she's in an emotional time in her life, she almost got killed multiple times, and I'm thinking about marrying her. And to top it all of, she's sixteen. Swell.

I see Caleb leave, and I stare at her, asking her permission to approach her. She looks like a half squirrel, with one of her cheeks swollen badly. I expect the worst of her now, since she stabbed Eric, got hurt by Eric, saw Eric shoot a child in front of her, and who was about to shoot her next.

I wonder if Candor would kick me out for putting Eric in a torture room for all eternity.

"You okay?" I ask her, tilting my head slowly.

"I might throw up if I have to answer that one more time." She grumbles. "I don't have a bullet in my head, do I? So I'm good."

She sounds annoyed, that I have the nerve to ask her. I want to shout at her that that's not normal, and it's okay to show just a smidge of weakness to me so that I can help her, but I don't want to get her she get's mad, my temper flares as well.

"Your jaw is so swollen you look like you have a wad of food in your cheek, and you stabbed Eric. I'm not allowed to ask if you're okay?" I ask frowning. I'm her boyfriend, doesn't that give me a right?

She sighs, and thinks for a moment, not knowing what to say. She ponders for a few seconds, as if wondering if she really is okay. I almost smile, as it reminds me of how she was reluctant to give me her name when she first jumped down the net. "Yeah, I'm okay." She replies.

I'm still thinking about the net incidence, and I am about to wrap my hands around hers as I did when retrieving her, smirking almost, as I remember her almost rolling of onto me. Then I remember the truth serum.

She looks down at her shoes, and I know she sees my reluctance. We are in a cafeteria with people around us, and memories of the final rankings are imprinted into my mind, as her bold descision to kiss me pops somewhere in there. I feel like paying back the favor in a small way, so I embrace her, and I feel like I've finally found where I belong after a long time of searching.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to come to get you." I say breathily. She lets out another sigh_-_I've come to enjoy the sound of it_-_and pushes me closer with just her fingertips on my back. I feel my spine prickle with the contact. She pulls back, too soon since I want to kiss her now, but she says, "I need to talk to you. Can we go somewhere quiet?"

I nod a little happily. She's starting to trust me. We head for the doors, and I hear Richard. "Oh, look! It's _Tobias Eaton_!"

I try to ignore him. I really do. I already have myself a rain check to punch the bastard anyways, so I might as well add another. That is until one of his lackeys, one who's name I don't remember, says "I saw your daddy here earlier, Eaton! Are you gonna go hide?"

I stiffen. He's here? He's alive? Why did he come here, why didn't he stay with the Abnegation in the other factionless safe houses? And those idiots don't know what I've been through in childhood, they have no right to mess with me, not without putting themselves in my shoes.

"Yeah, are you gonna hide, coward?" They laugh, I consider punching them all, bashing heads together, smashing my fist in stomach, and kicking ribs until I hear a crack, but I feel nails dig in my arm and almost cry out in pain. The nails dig in my flesh as they grasp tighter, and I feel my feet moving without my permission. _Stop _I try commanding my legs. _I can't leave them laughing, I need to at least punch one of them, to show them I'm not who I was before._

"I was going to tell you," Says the source of the sharp nails, Tris of course. "He came with Caleb. He and Peter escaped Amity_-_" but I cut her off, not caring about details.

"What were you waiting for then." I ask, meaning to sound cold, but more lost. I felt strangely at ease these past few days, and I think it was because I thought he was dead.

"It's not the kind of news you deliver in a cafeteria."

I am about to retaliate, saying that if my worst nightmare was close by, I'd want to know as soon as possible, but we fought the other day about how she should have told me about Will in private instead of in a setting with a hundred people listening in. So instead, to spare another argument, I say, "Fair enough."

She presses a button on the elevator and I don't know where she want to go but I am to nervous to care. I bite my lip to distract myself, but it doesn't work. Flashes of my terrified screams go through my brain, and I want to smack my brain for doing so at a time like this.

I hope for some alone time with Tris, since her kisses tend to make my mind blank, but she came here to talk, so that's what we'll do. I take the good chair Niles had sat in, and think Tris will sit in the other, but she sits on a bench.

I notice only Niles chair here. Where was the one where Tris and I sat?

"Didn't there used to be two of these?" I ask, my eyes looking at the chair.

"Yeah, I uh...it got thrown out the window."

"Strange." I say not dwelling on it, even though it catches me off guard. "So what did you want to talk to me about? Or was that about Marcus." I taste bile.

"No that wasn't it." She looks at me and frowns. My hands feel clammy, and I look around, paranoid that Marcus will jump out. "Are you...all right?"

Apparently she notices my discomfort, but then again I'm not trying to hide it. I almost scoff. She can ask me that, but when I ask, I get a sparky response? Not fair.

"I don't have a bullet in my head do I? So I'm fine." I say looking at my hands, knowing she's burning me with her eyes since I used her own words against her. "I'd like to talk about something else."

"I want to talk about simulations." She says out of her glaring gaze. "But first, something else-your mother thought Jeanine would go after the factionless. Obviously she was wrong." Tris seems happy about that. It seem she really hates my mother. I would have been happy about that, but I'm planning an alliance, so now I'm not sure. "And I'm not sure why. It's not like the Candor are battle ready or anything_-_"

"Well think about it." I notice that she's talking more to herself than to me, and thoroughly examining the situation, which is very Erudite of her. I don't want her to stop thinking and being less curious because the traitors believes in knowledge as well. I like the way she thinks and acts; I like her Divergence. "Think it through, like the Erudite."

Her stare is blank but I know she's annoyed.

"What?" I say dripping fake innocence. "If you can't, the rest of us have no hope." In a sense, it's true. Think like the enemy to beat the enemy.

"Fine. Um..." She bites that damn lip. "it had to be because Dauntless and Candor were the most logical targets. Because... the factionless are in multiple places, whereas we're all in the same place."

"Right. Also, when Jeanine attacked Abnegation, she got all the Abnegation data. My mother told me that the Abnegation had documented the factionless Divergent populations, which means that after the attack, Jeanine must have found out that the proportion of Divergent among the factionless is higher than among the Candor. That makes them an illogical target." I say agreeing with, as well as reminding her of what I was told.

"All right. Then tell me about the serum again. It has a few parts, right?"

When she told me to talk, I was expecting her to want words of comfort, not factual information, but I'm also glad she remembers what I taught her during initiation."Two. The transmitter and the liquid that induces the simulation. The transmitter communicates information to the brain from the computer, and vice versa, and the liquid alters the brain to put it in a simulation state." After that little speech, I feel like a little Erudite kid, but Tris looks at me fascinated as she nods.

"And the transmitter only works for one simulation, right? What happens after that."

"It dissolves. As far as I know the Erudite haven't been able to develop a transmitter that lasts for more than one simulation," I think this is conversation is leading toward something big. "Although, the attack simulation lasted far longer than any simulation I've seen before."

She stays silent for so long, thinking, that I start to squirm. Her mouth turns into a grim line, and her shoulders sag. "What's this about, Tris?"

"Have you seen this yet?" She points at her shoulder, where she and about a hundred others got shot. A huge bandage covers it.

"Not up close." I say cautiously. I wonder how into this conversation she is, or if she's just here to discuss what happened in scientific terms, so I decide to check. "Zeke and I were hauling wounded Erudite to the fourth floor all morning."

She starts to peel the bandage, not seeming to realize what I said. The old Tris would have heard about the Zeke part, but she just doesn't seem to be caring enough to listen at my words.

"When they attacked, they weren't trying to kill us." Thankfully. "They were shooting us with these. I observe the wound. It is blue around the area where she got shot, and I touch it. It is cold. I take the needle from her, suddenly feeling serious and scientific as well-I don't blame her for not listening about when I said Zeke now. I know where she's going with this.

"This is probably hollow. It must have contained whatever that blue stuff in your arm is. What happened after you were shot?"

"They tossed these gas-spewing cylinders into the room and everyone went unconscious." She looks at me cautiously, once again. "That is, everyone but Uriah and me and the other Divergent."

I look at her, confused. What was the big deal? I already knew that they were hunting for Divergents.

"Did you know Uriah was Divergent?" Oh right.

I shrug, trying to be nonchalant, not wanting to experience her verbal wrath. "Of course. I ran his simulations too."

"And you never told me." She accuses.

"Privileged information." I defend myself. "Dangerous information.

She coughs. "You saved our lives, you know. Eric was trying to hunt us down." She looks at me like I'm a hero and not some coward, and I like how she affects me, but realize I affect her too, enough for her to give up the rest of her life to allow me to live.

"I think we're past keeping track of who has saved whose life." I stare at her the fading memory of me trying to kill a so called traitor, and how that traitor ended up giving me her gun to shoot her.

"Anyway. After we figured out that that everyone was asleep, Uriah ran upstairs to warn the people who where up there, and I went to the second floor to figure out what was going on. Eric had all the Divergent by the elevators, and he was trying to figure out which of us he was going to take back with him. He said he was allowed to take two. I don't know why he was going to take any."

And a horrified thought creeps into my head. Eric wasn't going to kill her. He was going to take her away from me, to deprive me of the one thing that matters most. He always had it out for me, and it is why I didn't want our relationship to be known in the first place. They want her. The Erudite want to steal her from me. Not just any Divergent, they want what's mine. I strain not to shout.

"Odd." I manage to say in an even breath.

"Any ideas?"

My rage isn't helping me think. I take a deep breath. They won't take her. I won't let them. She won't give in, and I'll help kill them with her help, if they go near us.

"My guess," I say getting back to the scientific talk. "is that the needle injected you with a transmitter and the gas was and aerosol version of the liquid that alters the brain. But why..." I scowl, wondering why they would try starting a simulation in Candor, but then I get it. "Oh. She put everyone to sleep to find out who the Divergent were."

"You think that's the only reason for injecting us with transmitters?" She says dubiously.

I say no, shaking my head and stare intently at her ayes, so demanding and fierce, even more during a war. I feel electrified just looking at her, feeling alive and strong.

"I think you've already figured it out, but you want me to contradict you." I say. I'm not a teacher to her anymore, I'm not going to tell her if she's right or wrong. She has to know that for herself. "And I'm not going to."

We come to the same conclusion. "They've developed a long-lasting transmitter."

A shaky nod from my part.

"So now we're all wired for multiple simulations. As many as Jeanine wants, maybe.

Another nod, but less shaky now.

She shudders and says "This is really bad, Tobias."

It got really bad the second we awoke with footsteps of brain washed soldiers.

Now, it is reached a new level of destruction.


	23. Chapter 23

We walk out of the interrogation room, or "hell," as I have given the room a new nickname. I realize, suddenly, that Tris was downstairs, but decided to go upstairs and find the others. It would have been selfless, or even brave, but it wasn't smart. She should have went with Uriah, or came to get backup. She could have at least went up there armed. I decide to stop, and talk to her about this...situation.

"So you attacked Eric. Was that during the invasion? Or when you were by the elevators?" Stabbing Eric. I suppose he got what he deserved, since he forced me to throw knives at her. I remember my reluctance, and how I considered the option of throwing the knife at him instead.

"By the elevators." She confirms.

"One thing I don't understand. You were downstairs. You could have just run away. But instead, you decided to dive into a crowd of armed Dauntless all by yourself." I scold, and then add, "And I'm willing to bet you weren't carrying a gun."

Her lips turn into a grim line, and she doesn't meet my gaze.

"Is that true?" I ask quietly, containing my anger, but I'm starting to think that it's pointless.

"What makes you think I didn't have a gun?"

Does she think I'm so stupid and unaware, that I would notice her frustration with weapons? "You haven't been able to touch a gun since the attack. I understand why, with the whole Will thing, but-"

"That has nothing to do with it." She says cutting me off, just when I was about to chastise her. It is a lie, and I know it.

I raise my eyebrows in fake surprise and innocently ask, "No?" acknowledging the fact that I am upsetting her. Good.

"I did what I had to do." Her voice rising, like it does when she's mad.

"Yeah." I agree, when another thought pops in. "But now you should be done. You should have stayed with the Amity. You should have stayed far away from this."

By 'this,' I mean war. She can't handle herself, and refuses to think about the reactions her choices do to other people, especially me. It's a selfish thought, but I want her to be safe, even though she is too stubborn to do so.

"No, I shouldn't have. You think you know what's best for me?" Yes. "You have no idea. I was going crazy with the Amity. Here I finally feel...sane again."

"Which is odd, considering you are acting like a psychopath." I snap, surprising her, and myself. Psychopath is how I describe Peter, Marcus, and Eric. I never would have used the word on Tris, but it fits with the idea of her going against an enemy army with a small knife. "It's not brave, choosing the position you were in yesterday. It's beyond stupid-" It's idiotic and... "It's suicidal. Don't you have any regard for your own life?"

I am afraid of her answer. If it is a yes, do I decide to still be together with her, or do I let her fend this off on her own? The past few days have been hell ever since she started pushing herself away fro me. Aren't people supposed to grow closer together the longer they stay? Is the fact that she built a wall that keeps me away a sign to break up with her?

"Of course I do!" She exclaims, but she doesn't seem sure. "I was just trying to do something useful!"

I stare at her, and realize suddenly my worst option might be true. Tris doesn't want to live, not without her parents or with the grief of Will. She reminds me of Dauntless junkies, and I don't like it. I don't like how she doesn't choose the wise and strategic way out of a problem, but chooses to just figh it without being prepared. That is what someone Dauntless by heart does, and she is not. She is Divergent and I need to remind her of that.

"Your more than Dauntless, but if you want to be just like them, hurling yourself into ridiculous situations for no reason and retaliating against your enemies without any regard for what's ethical, go right ahead." I spit out. The whole reason I wanted her, was because she was different. "I thought you were better than that, but maybe I was wrong!"

She gives me a cold glare. "You shouldn't insult the Dauntless. They took took you in when you had nowhere else to go. Trusted you with a good job. Gave you all your friends. She slumps onto the wall her eyes trained to the ground

Her words sting me, badly. I knew she could be cruel and harsh to the people she despises, but to me? Does she hate me? I told her that because I thought I loved her, but now I have too much doubt about us. And what she just said makes my insides hollow. I can't feel my heart thudding. I can't hear any thoughts in my head. Everything is blank.

"Tris." I breathe out. The one person I thought would understand me, might think my choice was cowardly as well, just like the rest of them.

She slumps even more.

"_Tris._" I say panicked now. She couldn't have meant that. She couldn't have.

She looks up, her eyes dripping not with tears, but sorrow.

"I just don't want to loose you." I mumble.

And I make a decision there. I won't go running after Tris for her insight anymore. She can ask me. I will no longer come to her, demanding to now if she's okay. She has to start initiating conversations with me. I'll see how often she and I talk. My plan might bring us closer together.

Or it might make us drift apart. My forehead starts sweating at the thought.

* * *

_**I DID NOT PROOF READ THIS, BUT IT SHOULD BE OKAY! THANK FOR READING! :D I'LL TRY UPDATING TOMORROW :) I'M REVISING FOUR'S STORY, SO THE FIRST FEW CHAPTERS SHOULD HAVE LESS GRAMMAR MISTAKES AND MAYBE SOME PLOT CHANGES.**_


	24. Chapter 24

"I'm hungry," Uriah moans once again. "Can't these guys cook any faster?"

"We're in a line, Uriah," I say rolling my eyes. "There are people in front of us who need food first, and these people aren't the Dauntless. They don't know the tantrums you go through when your hungry," I add, remembering the time when Uriah was in a food line, when someone cut him. Uriah punched him, kicked him, and wet willied him.

That someone was Zeke. It is an unspoken rule, but I have to make sure Uriah survives as well. For Zeke, who I'm sure would want nothing more.

"Well, I can't do that here, or else we'll get kicked out. Maybe if I just threaten a little..."

"You and food!" I exclaim, smiling at his sixteen year old stupidity.. "You act like your dieing before every meal!"

"I'm not acting!" Uriah defends, but he's smiling too. The line becomes shorter, and Uriah and I talk about pointless nothings. At some point, we talked about using deodorant for ammunition for a prank he had in mind.

"Gonna sit with your girlfriend?" He asks once the food is received. "Or is she going to sit on you..." He says suggestively. I kick him.

"It's not like that. And, no I'm not." I say remembering that I am not going to associate with her. She has to come to me.

"And why not?" Uriah asks.

I survey the room and see Shauna and Lauren in a table together. "Need to catch up with those two." I say pointing at them with my head. "I haven't talked to them since this whole ordeal."

He nods, and says, "I don't want to seem like a kiss up, sitting with my old instructors, so goodbye."

He walks off and drops his plate next to Tris, who doesn't seem to notice my absence, or care really. I huff and walk toward Lauren and Shauna. If she doesn't want me there, then I don't need to be there. I have other priorities, and hanging around my girlfriend isn't on the top of the list.

"Well, look who it is." Lauren says grinning when I sit next to her. "It's our little man. You know, I thought you'd be courting with Tris."

"I'm not little." I defend, because I don't want to talk about her right now.

Lauren blushes. Shauna does not acknowledge me. I frown. "Hey, Shauna."

"Four," She says, a frightened squeak. It reminds me of the time when I was teaching her to fight. She was low on confidence, and scared as a sheep. "What's up with you?" I ask.

"Other than the fact that my former friend is a brain freak?" She snaps. "Nothing."

My eyes widen. I expected some fear from people about the Divergent, but not from Shauna. Not from one of my best friends.

"And then my other friend is a traitor," She spits. I glower at her. Zeke is doing a daring act for the good of all of us. He doesn't need crap behind his back.

"Hey now." Lauren says nervously. "Shauna, he's still Four. It's not like he changed, or anything. He's always been Divergent. You guys were great friends before you found that out."

Shauna scoffs, and then walks away, leaving just Lauren and I.

"Well," I say dryly. "That puts me up on the confidence booster."

"It's her mom. She's been telling her kids all these ridiculous things about you guys."

You guys. It's like we're not in the same faction. It's as if we're a whole different group that is separated from humanity. This is probably how it's like to be factionless.

"Lynn is talking to Tris and I." I point out.

"Because, Lynn has this theory that Divergent is a government conspiracy."

"Oh." I say.

"So..." Lauren says, and she squirms a bit. I frown at the movement. Lauren never squirms.

"Spit it out." I demand.

"What's the deal with you and Stiff."

I glare at her. "She's not Stiff. Her name is Tris."

"Well, she doesn't seem to be interested in you at the moment."

I kick myself. I remember Lauren flirting with me, and we're at a table all alone. Why doesn't she understand that I just want to be friends? "Rough patch in our relationship. Her parents are dead. She shot one of her friends, not that I blame her. Oh, and it's not like we're in a freaking war right now, Lauren." I say harshly.

She winces, like I punched her in the gut. "I never thought you'd be interested in someone romantically. I thought if you ever were in a relationship, it'd be...physical."

My cheeks feel hot. Again, why does everyone think that all I want is sex? Is it the hair?

"Well, you were wrong."

"You can't blame me." She defends. "Shauna and I see you and Zeke checking out girls."

Not something I'm proud of, but yes, I used to stare at girls who were pretty and had curves. I had Zeke as a best friend. Sue me. And that was a long time ago, before I even met Tris. In fact, when I first got her out of that God forsaken net, I never even took another glance at another girl.

"That was a long time ago. And it's not like I ever talked to them, or anything."

She smirks. "Yeah, you just liked the view from where you stood."

"What's up with you." I glare at her. "I love Tris now, as you already know. I don't care about any of that, not anymore!"

"I'm just saying," She says standing up, as her food is finished. "If it doesn't work with you and her...you know who to talk to." And with that she leaves, and I know I won't take her up on her offer.

I'm not like that, I'm not. And it_ will_ work with Tris. I stare at her table, and see her sleeping on it as her friends and her brother bicker.

I glare at the middle of the table, alone. I sigh, get up, throw away my uneaten lunch, and go to the interrogation room on the eighteenth floor. That is where I sit on the ground and pull my knees to my chest

* * *

**This was awkward...but hey I don't know why, but I always thought that Lauren had a thing for Tobias, even though she's barely in the book (yet she's in the movie, with a lack of Uriah) and I didn't make Four see any of his friends yet in this story, and Shauna hates Divergent's so...**

**I might revise this later, but for now I guess it stays. I'll try to update between gray and black...**

**as for one shots I'm working on one on Peter's POV of when he's fighting Tris.**

**BUT after I'm done with the Peter POV...I've noticed that the Zeke POV chapters get more votes, so I guess that means you guys like it when I do Zeke impersonations?...thing is, I don't know what scene to write in Zeke's POV, or if you guys want a made up one... so in other words, you guys get to request what you would want to read in Zeke's pov, and if other people agree, than I'll write it :)**

**And I was bored so I decided to draw what I think Tris would look like in Dauntless initiation...**

** . **


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